Aibu to say that home ed groups tend to be cliquey?

[bandthenjust]

Just that really. It'd be good to hear that I'm not the only one that's fighting an upward battle to be included in the groups

OP without sounding rude, there is clearly something about your facebook profile or what you're saying that's putting them off.

Contact your local kids centres and see if any run any sessions for home ed kids. We have them here for everything from gymnastics to trampolining to rock climbing and forrest schools.

alphabravo thats a good point - I joined fb to get in contact with he community, that's it. I dont actually have a profile as such, as I've not added anything to it inc a photo lmao. Maybe that's what it is.

might be worth seeing if there is a 'not back to school' event or picnic in your area? or even posting to see if anyone else wanted to join you for one... how is the LA in your area? I only ask because I have a friend in another part of the county where the LA have really been over stepping their remit and pressuring families and this has meant the community has become more insular and things happen through word of mouth and meeting face to face and becoming known...
are you on the national facebook group? you can find some really useful stuff and feel like you are in touch, even if you don't get the local stuff.

It really might be a problem with your fb profile! I run some groups and if someone doesn’t look ‘real’ there’s a higher chance they’re going to be a troll, and that’s even more concerning about groups that then might meet up IRL.

I home ed. They can be in so far as most groups are well established and cater for specific ages etc. I've also personally spent a lot of time welcoming and helping people who then don't participate or sometimes don't even show up.
If you'd like to pm me your area I could maybe see if I know anyone local to you who could help, I'm active in quite a few groups nationally.

Presumably if you found and joined a home ed group, you would become friends with them soon.

They can't be too big or they'd end up being a school!

The important thing is how well the children get on with work and amongst themselves.

Sort your FB out OP. People dont trust empty profiles. Socia media 101 😊

Hi OP, while some HE have a core of long termers who know each other well, I haven't had the experience that you are describing of being actively discouraged!
I would suggest that you explain that you are new to FB. As PP mentioned - it is the season for "not back to school" picnics - find out where they are in your area and turn up. Then you can meet some people face to face and they can see that you are a genuine HE family.
Hope things get better for you!

It’s your profile!
Some HE gave pups are deeply suspicious of empty profiles in case it’s an LA representative trying to check up on them.

HE groups, not gave pups!

Some are cliquey same as other areas of life really but there are many that are lovely and welcoming. September is a great time to get there with all the picnics going on and usually lots of trips and new activities starting. We we have a few different things lined up this month as well as my childrens usual activities.

Aaaaarrrrghh I'm such a moron, I haven't used fb in ten years, I frikkin detest it so didn't bother at all. Thank you for pointing this out!

Any luck @op?

Hi alphabravo, errr... Not really lol! I went to a picnic last week, and I spoke to one lady there who was nice, also new to the h.e community. She got to the picnic before me and said nobody other than the lady organising it would speak to her, everybody already knew each other etc, she was good to tal k to but her daughter is double the age of mine lol. I spoke to the woman organising it, and she was mainly promoting her church group. My eldest asked a group of kids if she could join in their game but was told to go away so neither my children or myself had any luck with our city's home ed not-back-to-school picnic!
I have managed to get my kid's places in a swimming group and tennis group that starts soon! So fingers crossed.
Thanks everyone for the advice. Sorry my posts are moany

signandsingcarols I went to the picnic last week, didn't have much luck. Even though I live in a city that was the 'main' group that met up. Not sure about the LA - the on ly contact I've had with one is v ia letter back in July after I took the kids out of school. The lady I spoke to at the picnic said she invited the same LA to her h ome the previous day and September is apparently 'the month' when our LA starts (snooping) checking in with people. I did put a post up on the FB board asking if there's any truth behind it and nobody has replied. Annd yeah, I'm on the national fb group I've found it much more useful than the local one.

I was going to take my kid's to a soft play area and i was going to ask on my local fb if anyone would like to meet up with us there - do you all think that is ok to suggest? Or is it weird? Ive sorted my fb profile out lol

OP, I am so sorry that you aren't having a good experience.

I think it is perfectly fine to post asking if anyone wants to meet up - be up front and say your kids are looking to socialise. Suggest the soft play but be open to another suggestion (such as a park - free).

The local FB group should be posting the regular groups and activities - check the "files" section of the group. If not, maybe be bold and ask direct if there are any activities suitable for your children's ages/interests.

You might want to ask in the national group if there is anyone else in there from your city - might be a way to make direct contact with a person?

There are lots of different types of home edder tbh. The ones who had issues with school, the ones who think schools brainwash etc etc.

The majority of people we get on with are just in the "normal people whose kids don't go to school" camp. We don't go to many groups that are home ed specific.

The only time our local group gets up in arms is when people with toddlers or kids who are non CSA want to take over local meets, or when people start complaining that ther isn't much going on etc. Most home ed activities are organised by parents, so in the latter case just set up what is missing!

Anyway, haven't really answered your question. But yes, like any group of people some groups will be cliquey. But if you struggle so.will others, post on a local page that you are going to XYZ local attraction and would anyone like to come along etc and make some contacts.

People can be very suspicious as there are so many instances where LA bods have tried to join groups etc.

Sorry to hear you haven't found your local group very welcoming. I think this can be for so many reasons. In cities there can be so many families coming and going that it is a priority for some people to find a consistent group of people that they meet up with regularly. Perhaps what once started as an open group has now become more closed due to numbers, though they could have been more honest with you about that.

My advice would be to post on the fb group asking if anyone wants to meet for a play at your local park, and to pm you if they do. There should be an influx of new members at this time of year. And by asking people to pm you you won't feel embarrassed if you don't get much response this time (no-one else will know!!). Once you meet a couple of other families you can start your own meet up

not ours(valleys of south wales)we attend 2 in different villages(miles apart and half hour drive from each other)

we were very welcomed when we started(oct 15) and they accept all ages,abilities and disabilities and most importantly not judged

both my boys have complex multiple disabilities each(8,14) its the reson we chose home ed and neither dont fit in with regular kids but the kids at our home ed groups accept them no matter what

example my 8 y old is mentally 4-5 cant read or write and doesnt fit in with kids his age group but in group he plays with all ages, even older boys

the 14 y old is no where near mentally a teenager but sill mixes with the 11 and 13 y olds

you must be going to the wrong type of groups as we all follow the unschooling learn through life approach so all have the same mine set