To spend birthday alone?

[Siobhan8686]

Aibu to want to spend birthday alone? I have dp, dsd 15, ds 9, ds 2. They are all hard work and every single day i wash, cook and clean for them all. I haven't had a lie in for 2 years! Im exhausted and just want one day, my birthday stress free. I always make everyones birthday special, i plan days out, plan surprise parties, buy cakes, banners, balloons. I go so over the top to make my loved ones birthdays special, as i should do but no one does this for me. I am the back bone of our household and feel if any day, my birthday should be the day im appreciated and spoiled? All my previous birthdays i have been the first to wake, last year (30th birthday) i opened my presents with my 2 ds as partner didnt wake up til 11am then he just said what we doing today, we ended up going to the sealife so it was more for the kids than me. Then a pub meal where i was busy chasing a then 1 year old while my dp ate and sat glued to his phone and moaned the children hadnt ate much. I thought he would of arranged a meal with our family's as it was a milestone birthday. So this year ive said i love my family but i want to spend it on my own, i went to go for a massage then a meal with friends. Now dp is insinuating im selfish that i dont want to spend it with my family

Yanbu. Go and enjoy your birthday doing something nice with your friends.

Then tackle the issue of your H thinks it's perfectly ok to not do his share of the housework.

Tell your DP when he organises you something special you'll spend it with them!
How about he organises coffee and a light breakfast with the kids before you go for a massage and brunch with a friend, followed by lunch and shopping. Then you pop home to get changed into a new outfit, blow out your candles on the cake he's organised and then you and him go for a slap up meal and drinks leaving the DCs with the babysitter he's organised. Oh and the next day he's on duty, so you can enjoy a lie in.

I like your thinking

I would do the same thing in your shoes.

Remind the selfish fucker how he sat glued to his phone at your last birthday meal.

I did say that to him, I explained last year you moaned the children didn't eat enough, then i was left chasing a 1 year old and you barely took your eyes off your phone, his response 'it sounds bad when you say it like that'.