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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Homeless application - need advice.

88 replies

PrickWhittington · 31/08/2018 18:32

Posting her for traffic, really need some advice as my head is whirring with it all:

Me and my 4 DC (DD1 is 19, other are children) were made homeless last May due to my LL selling, and us being unable to secure another private rental.

We have been in temporary accommodation since then, which yes, is a roof over our heads but also too small (2 bedrooms and 3 beds for all of us), it's is damp, the boiler never works, has mice and just not a nice place to live to put it mildly. For this, a 2 bed terrace in a really dodgy area I pay £259 a week, £60 a month to park near it, £140 a month to store our stuff and £95 for our cat to be looked after.

I am on home choice that allows me to bid for social housing, and was in band B, and after a year of bidding we were just starting to have some chance of securing something long term. However, when I became ill earlier in the year, I applied for housing benefit, and it took them 14 weeks to process. During that time, I knew I would have to pay some of the rent but not how much. I rang and was advised to put a certain bit of money by each week so I could pay the proportion I actually owed when the claim was processed, which I did - paid the amount in full as soon as I was asked to.

In June, I became ill and was in hospital, so couldn't pay it online, but every time I rang to try and pay it, I was either unable to hold for the amount of time needed (up to an hour and I have a PAYG phone). They then rang me and asked for payment, I said I would pay it by the paypoint card they had issued, then discovered I couldn't find it. I spoke to the call centre and told them this and they said another card would be issued, I waited for it but it never arrived. In early July, I went abroad for my eldest son's wedding. I had an email asking to pay the arrears. I emailed back to say I was waiting for my payment card to arrive so I could. They then said it is not possible to issue another card. I explained I was abroad and unable to make a call lasting over an hour. I then got an email threatening to move our banding down a grade to band C if the arrears weren't paid immediately, so I ended up having to borrow over £50 for credit for my phone so I could phone and pay it (was on hold/ the phone for over an hour to do this). I emailed thento say it was paid.

A week letter I get home to a letter saying our banding has been downgraded to Band C due to arrears, the letter being sent and my payment crossed. I then sent several messages explaining that I had paid, and the reasons I had not been able to do it earlier, which I had made them aware of.

I asked, as the letter said I could, for the decision to be reviewed in light of the fact t that I had already paid when my banding was downgraded, and always paid it in full and on time before I came ill. The only person who would reply to me was a temporary accommodation officer, who said may be if "I asked very nicely, they'd do that for me' (wtf?)

Fast forward to now, they have eventually moved me back to band B from the date I cleared the arrears (which coincides with the day they downgraded it). I got a sort of 'there you go, all is now sorted' reply from them.

However - it really isn't Ok, as yes I am back in band B, but my priority date has now been changed from last May (the date we were made homeless and accepted into band B) to the end of July this year (when they 'put it back' into Band `B). This means that now instead of being somewhere at least in the top 10 of securing a property because we had been waiting for over a year, we are back at the start. So in effect, anyone who became homeless in the 14 months after we did will now me housed before us (hoping that makes sense?).

I emailed them to try to convey this to them but got a curt reply saying that no I was not in fact 'back to the beginning, but in a higher band so MORE likely to be housed. Which missed the point completely.

I think what I am asking is - is their any way I can ask them to reconsider their decision to move my band in light of the fact that I was TRYING to pay it and conveying all this too them, it was a tiny amount and had already been cleared in full by me by the time they changed my band. My history of paying was good (excluding during the time my HB was being assessed, but at their advice) both to them and my previous LL. I was only ever 3 weeks in arrears and twice when I called the contact centre they double checked this was the case as they were surprised that that action was being taken for that small an amount. I there a way I can ask them to consider reversing the decision to change my banding so my original priority date of last May os reinstated?

This is an awful way to live, and after a year of hell we were just starting to see a bit of light at the end of the tunnel (the possibility of a home at last) and now we are back to the start because I have been penalised for something that I think was not my fault, and I had already rectified. I can't describe how hopeless this has made me feel, and if it wasn't for my DC's, I think that this would be the point of my life that I would actually give up completely. And that Is something that I thought I would never think or say, I've been through a lot and got through it but I just can't take the thought of living like we are for another few years. I've had enough.

Can anyone help me with this? I do have some savings I could maybe use for a solicitor if I needed to but would obviously rather not, plus I wouldn't' know where to start with it all. But my God, I feel hopeless.

OP posts:
PersianCatLady · 01/09/2018 16:10

@Bountiful
It doesn't matter about what has already happened as that is in the past.

OP is asking for help to move forward not be reminded of a mistake that has cost her dearly.

Bountiful · 01/09/2018 16:12

This reply has been deleted

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PrickWhittington · 01/09/2018 16:13

Ok - summary in case I haven't been clear-

I missed 3 weeks rent, firstly because I was in hospital and then because I was unable to get through and waiting, as advised by their call centre, for a new paypoint card to arrivento pay it with. They knew all of this.

3 fucking weeks as well, a total of less than £300. Both times I got through to the contact centre they double checked this as it was an unusually low amount/ length of time for the a action that they took with the banding. Just after I'd opposed them on a different issue. Funny that.

OP posts:
Bountiful · 01/09/2018 16:14

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Bountiful · 01/09/2018 16:15

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Bountiful · 01/09/2018 16:16

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PrickWhittington · 01/09/2018 16:19

But she knew she had to pay her rent. I'm wondering why she didn't.

From my first post Bounty.....

I don't fucking like paying rent but it is spelled out to you time and time again that you must be up to date with your rent! Why you failed to pay it astounds me

Your ignorance astounds me, and the deliberate misunderstanding of what actually happened bounty

Where did I say I didn't pay as I don't like doing it?

Ridiculous.

OP posts:
PersianCatLady · 01/09/2018 16:20

We can all agree she needed to pay it and she didn't. Nothing can change that now.

Moving forwards I am sure the OP won't make the same mistake again.

ronniemipperton · 01/09/2018 16:28

@Bountiful are you a landlord with some difficult tenants or something? Your response doesn’t seem very rational.

@PrickWhittington sorry you’re going through this, it sounds shit. I know someone else said this but do try the Shelter helpline, I’m sure they will be happy to help if they can.

Depending on what Shelter say - both councillors and MPs have a responsibility to listen to their constituents’ concerns, so I’d try writing to all of them. Their remits are different because councillors vote on council decisions and MPs vote on government (national level) decisions but they are all supposed to help the people they represent. MPs may be more likely to help for the press (or because they genuinely care in some cases) but councillors can help make change happen within the local authority so worth contacting them, particularly if you don’t feel comfortable writing to the MP.

Thanks for sharing what you’re going through, I wish more people felt able to and weren’t (understandably) put off by the bafflingly uncompassionate and judgmental people on here.

ItsColdNow · 01/09/2018 16:30

@bountiful seems to have lost the plot. Reported.

PersianCatLady · 01/09/2018 16:33

I grew up in a house where past mistakes were always brought up even now (15 years later) I am reminded that I wrote off two cars in the space of 6 weeks and asked "but why didn't you drive better?"

Bountiful's posts reminded me so much of this backward looking thinking.

There comes a time when you just have to let past mistakes go as bringing them up serves no purpose.

Bountiful · 01/09/2018 16:36

If you're a council tenant, it is REITERATED to you time and time again that if you go into arrears, nothing will be considered. It is in EVERY letter. Your mistake was not paying your rent.

LeftRightCentre · 01/09/2018 16:41

These older children with degrees and good jobs, how many of them and why are they not helping their mother and siblings in this situation? Depending on where you are, you may be a long way from getting social housing even with a correction in your status.

PrickWhittington · 01/09/2018 16:44

You can pay online!

*Ah yes, sorted- silly me - didn't think of that Hmm

Although actually -unfortunately, when you are unconscious in hospital, then unable to look at or even see a screen then no, you can't. Nor can you arrange for someone else to when you can't write or speak.

Nor when you ask someone else to do so and only link tells you the only reference number you have is not recognised, but no one at the contact centre knows what the correct one is, so pass it to another department. Who don't reply to you.

Not when try to go along with THEIR solution of paying by paypoint but can't because they don't send you the card they said they would (and you later find out they don't even issue replacements, and that yet again you have been given wrong/ conflicting information).

You're doing a cracking job of proving the following points I KEEP trying to make though ie,

People constantly judge and decide all this MUST be my fault somehow (why - what makes you want to believe that so much?)

Because I am in a shit situation, people constantly judge my entitlement to things that only others (they) should be allowed - a holiday for me and my DC's. Going to my own DS's wedding ffs...

People do not LISTEN to me and the points I am trying to make, perhaps because what I say may harm the narrative they want to take (again - that its all my fault, the council cannot be at fault here, it has to be me).

People constantly turn VALID REASONS into EXCUSES to try and negate the points I am trying to make again, for their own agenda.

Do these people honestly not realise what it does to people, to have to 'battle' everything, constantly. Defend themselves constantly? Or are they hoping their approach will wear people down so much they will just give up, accept blame that isn't theirs and criticism that is not accurate or justified.

If so, they do a fucking good job. You DO feel like giving up, you DO start to believe the negative criticism and the take the blame that isn't yours. Well done!

The thing is - IF I was the daft twat who was being painted there - if I hadn't paid it because I 'didn't like doing it', if I had a history of not paying my rent I would accept the action they took, and it WOULD be my fault, I would have no defence and `I would deserve it.

The thing is though - and I'm really sorry about this - but the scenario you are wrongly describing is not how it was.

.

OP posts:
PrickWhittington · 01/09/2018 16:56

If you're a council tenant, it is REITERATED to you time and time again that if you go into arrears, nothing will be considered. It is in EVERY letter. Your mistake was not paying your rent

Bounty - I really shouldn't still be replying and let you keep embarrassing yourself. But:

'Nothing will be considered' - What?

I'm not a council tenant
So I don't get any of the letters you refer to, let alone the ALL of them you refer to.
I was ACTIVELY TRYING to pay my rent. They knew this and even advised me to wait for the payment card in light of all the circumstances. I've already said all this. More than once.
See above post. Jesus.

How (deliberately?) obtuse you are being, and how accusing is EXACTLY what they are like (the ones who actually deal with, when they deign to reply, the poor sods in the call centre mostly sympathise and get you, but don't have the authority to change anything).

My older boys - 22 and 25 - what is it they can do to help? Because if they could, they would. But unfortunately, they can't, not with a home for us anyway.

OP posts:
PrickWhittington · 01/09/2018 16:58

Depending on where you are, you may be a long way from getting social housing even with a correction in your status

Yes, I've gathered that. As I replied to the email they sent me from their state the fucking obvious department yesterday'.

OP posts:
LeftRightCentre · 01/09/2018 17:02

My older boys - 22 and 25 - what is it they can do to help? Because if they could, they would. But unfortunately, they can't, not with a home for us anyway.

Well, they have these professional jobs and can afford to have destination weddings, they can't help you store your belongings or take in your cat or give you all a bit of money. Your ex is still legally obligated to pay towards the support of all his kids.

Shednik · 01/09/2018 17:06

I think there are guarantor schemes for people who really don't have a guarantor. Shelter will be able to tell you.

It sounds horrendous and overwhelming OP, I really hope it gets sorted asap.

Shednik · 01/09/2018 17:08

And shame on the posters who are taking the opportunity to kick someone while they're down. You really have no fucking idea.

PrickWhittington · 01/09/2018 17:08

Reported

Thank you Flowers.

But actually no, why not let the posts stand so people can see what me and countless (and again, rising) others in a similar situation have to put up with not only from here, but from the very departments that are supposed to be HELPING them.

The blaming, being made to feel shamed, unworthy, hopeless. Or if you won't take that, the accusations of being ungrateful, defensive, angry, aggressive, sarcastic, entitled, with non understanding of WHY you end up feeling that way.

It makes me fucking cross tbh, because I can be like a dog with a bone I am to being treated fairly. I'll oppose it, and speak up till I am heard. I'm, eloquent enough (well, maybe) to get my point across at times to a certain extent. Not everyone is - they end up giving up, defeated, and it's wrong. Really wrong. That they are demonised for something that is not their fault and denied something that should be a fundamental right in a civilised society - somewhere to call home.

OP posts:
PrickWhittington · 01/09/2018 17:13

And shame on the posters who are taking the opportunity to kick someone while they're down. You really have no fucking idea.

Again - thank you, helps me remember that some, if not most, are actually decent people Flowers

But really - Meh - fucking used to it all. Sick of it, but used to it. And tbh, people being twats helps reignite the fight in me that at times has almost gone. Almost, but not yet.

OP posts:
ItsColdNow · 01/09/2018 17:15

@PrickWhittington I reported because that particular poster is baiting repeatedly and refusing to read the question just being extremely boring to get attention and cause argument which as I understand it is not in the way mumsnet like to be seen. I’m under no illusion HQ will remove those posts as they won’t contravene the talk guidelines (simply being a prick does not sadly) but they should be called out.
Your situation sounds dire and one that as private renters we are only ever a stones throw away from as there is no security and the costs are ridiculous.

PrickWhittington · 01/09/2018 17:23

Well, they have these professional jobs and can afford to have destination weddings, they can't help you store your belongings or take in your cat or give you all a bit of money. Your ex is still legally obligated to pay towards the support of all his kids

One is in the forces. Currently posted in the Middle East for the next 5 months. So can't help with storage or cat. I could I suppose ask him for money (although he is trying to save for a deposit for a house) but it is not money I need. It is a tenancy.

Other one in a tiny shared one bed flat in London that costs him a fortune but he needs to pay for to stay in his job and try and get his career going. He had to get rid of most of his own stuff as nowhere to store that let alone mine.

Also, regarding the council having to pay for my storage - I've been told they don't have to by Shelter and by them. Same for the cat, and same for the transport to school. Apparently they have to 'help' with storage' as a loan if necessary, but not pay for it. Shelter told me the law is not very specific in respect of this, which of course the councils use to their advantage. The whole thing has been one of conflicting information regarding any rights I may have, and I have not been in a position to pay for legal advice or representation before. Shelter and CAB can be good but they are hugely overworked and not able to help everyone, and both have massive delays.

OP posts:
PrickWhittington · 01/09/2018 17:27

hat particular poster is baiting repeatedly and refusing to read the question just being extremely boring to get attention and cause argument

Yes, weirdly, that particular poster seems to have taken the exact tone and stance that I receive from the council - being deliberately obtuse, accusing and provocative. But not quite bright enough to get away with it. Which annoys them even more and makes them even more aggressive/ abuse their power. Like thy have towards me. It really is shower of shite.

OP posts: