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Dream cheating

4 replies

JellieEllie · 31/08/2018 15:03

To tell my friend she's being treated unfairly?
My friend has been with her long term partner for 6 years.
About 4 years ago they separated and they both slept with other people. He slept with his ex and she slept with a guy she didn't know all that well.
They then got back together and have been actually fine since, both felt was a mistake to separate etc and they have picked up where they left off and seem to be enjoying their relationship.
However in the last 6 months or so her partner has been having dreams that she has cheated on him with the dude she slept with all those years ago. Whenever he has these dreams he completely changes his attitude towards her; he ignores her for most of the day unless it's to tell her how shit he feels about said dream, she tries to talk to him and tell him she loves him or she will try to give him a cuddle to reassure him but he will push her away and disappear out with his mates or goes to his mums to spend the night ignoring all her calls and texts.
The next day he will come home to her but will still be a bit 'off' and quiet with her. After a few days everything will be back to normal and they carry on as usual. Until the dream comes again.
Is this normal behaviour ? I understand that dreaming your partner has cheated or been unfaithful can make you feel a bit sad initially when you wake up but I just shake it off and carry on with my day. Surely to punish someone for a dream that you have had that they have no control over isn't really decent of a partner who claims they love you?

She is saying she's used to being treat this way so it's become normality to her whereas I say it isn't acceptable and that she needs to speak to him about how he's dealing with it.
What do other people think ?

OP posts:
iklboo · 31/08/2018 15:08

Why does she even tell him she's had the dream?

ShartGoblin · 31/08/2018 15:08

It's completely unacceptable! I've had these sorts of dreams before and it does make me dislike my DP for a while but I don't take it out on him. He's an arse and she shouldn't have to put up with that.

iklboo · 31/08/2018 15:10

Sorry ignore me! I managed to totally misread that.

Yes, he's being a total dick.

MiggledyHiggins · 31/08/2018 15:15

I had a dream like that and work up well narked at DP for about 20 minutes until the caffeine hit my blood stream. Then I gave my head a wobble to cop the fuck on.

He shouldn't be holding his imagination against her, but neither should she be pandering to him either by chasing him the next day and begging him to communicate and showering him with love.

Yes it does feel shit when you wake up after a dream like that. I felt really shitty. But you can't take that mood out on a partner for something that didn't happen. And you absolutely should not be begging forgiveness for it.

She needs to tell him to cop on and stop being a wanker to her over stuff that only happens in his head,. That's veering into mental abuse territory.

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