Not sure this is the right place to post as I don’t have the emotional stamina to take a bashing. But I do need so honest opinions.
My kids spent the first 2.5 weeks with their dad and then with me with the intention of normal contact during the remainder of the holidays until school starts. First summer of 4 since we split.
When DD1 came home she told me that she is scared of getting into her dads car and him driving when he’s had an argument with his girlfriend. And that their arguments have increased massively recently. My immediate response was that she has to immediately turn to the girlfriend and say she’d only get into the car if the girlfriend drives. She mentioned but sometimes he is driving already when their arguments start or escalate. I still told her that she has to tell him to pull over and ask girlfriend to take over.
After that conversation i just couldn’t get it out of my head. I read the paper daily. I see accidents happening all the time. Very innocent accidents that can happen when they are in any car. I realised that I really didn’t want police to turn up at my door telling me that my girls have been in a horrible accident. From past experience know that if the worst were to happen that they will cover each other’s back and my girls won’t be there to tell the truth.
Due to his recent behaviour towards me I stopped him from what’s app and phone calls so we only have email contact. Girlfriend emailed me and I told her what DD1 said. Her response was very much it’s all lies. They’ve had one argument and will never put the girls in a situation like that.
All I needed was for her to reply and say yes she’ll make sure that she takes over the driving if they are in the same situation again. But of course she got all defensive. Friends have told me that she would get all defensive as they just moved into a new rented house together. (He was in her apartment before). And that she wouldn’t want me to know that they argue.
So am I right into fearing for my DDs safety.
A brief bit of background. He is schizophrenic and is very dependent on his daily tablets. He will randomly get out and walk bearfeet no matter where he is. Will pull on his hair and hit himself in the face. He attempted suicide last summer and 2 months later his relationship with OW ended. Month later he started with this girl. She is nearer to DD1s age who is 10 then to EXH. During his 2 year relationship with OW he barely saw the girls. I can count on my 2 hands the times he did.
Since new girlfriend he sees them regularly unless he decides he wants to disappear on a holiday with her. Messed up my final exams. Gets on with me until he screws me over when I need him to stick to his routine with the girls. Too long a list to explain.
Left the girls on their own on a very busy beach recently whilst looking for girlfriend as they argued and he stomped off with the girls. Even then girlfriend minimised it. DD1 told me that due to their argument he yanked on the handbrake several times to “show” her. Girlfriend claimed it was once when a car almost drove into them. He used to do it to me but I don’t drive so could never demand to take over.