Acceptable or not?

9 replies

Qwertykeyboard789 · 30/08/2018 02:50

Scrolling Instagram, saw that my OH had liked several photos of half naked women posing sexually and followed their accounts.
Told him I wasn’t happy, it made me feel uncomfortable as he hasn’t come on to me in ages and I’ve put on a lot of weight recently, and he said I was being unreasonable and controlling.
So AIBU and should I just suck it up, or am I right and is he being the unreasonable one?
What would you do in this situation?

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Aquamarine1029 · 30/08/2018 02:59

If your sex life has tanked, perhaps this is his escape. I'm not saying he's right or wrong, but he is human. It seems to me the intimate/sexual bond you had is gone. That isn't something that can suffer without very serious ramifications. You might feel what he's doing as akin to cheating. Personally I don't, but I can appreciate that it doesn't make you feel very secure.

Losingthewill1 · 30/08/2018 03:05

Maybe it would be good to get hoboes together? Wether it be getting fit together st.

agnurse · 30/08/2018 04:54

I'm sorry but that's not okay. He married YOU. He didn't marry THEM. Porn can cause incredible problems in a marriage.

Original poster

Qwertykeyboard789 · 30/08/2018 09:31

I think it upsets me more that these are people he now follows, all his friends can see exactly what I’ve seen and the message option is there. He denies messaging them, but he also denied liking and following them before I showed him proof
He’s just ignoring me this morning. We’ve both slept on it, and clearly we both still feel differently about it, so I’m not sure where to go from here.

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Imamouseduh · 30/08/2018 09:33

Ew, not acceptable at all. But it sounds like you both need to work on things together.

CaptSkippy · 30/08/2018 09:56

Regardless of your sexlife and you weight, treating women as objects is never okay. He wouldn't like it if you did that to men either.

For kicks you should try and give him a taste of his own medicine. Like and folow some hot male celebs and see how he likes it.

geekone · 30/08/2018 10:05

You say he hasn’t come on to you? Has your sex life dissapeared? When was the last time you came on to him?

It doesn’t sound like porn but maybe he like you is frustrated over your lack of sex life. Maybe you both need to discuss this calmly like adults and when that is sorted let him know it makes you feel uncomfortable that he is liking scantily dresses ladies publicly.
It’s a a bit Male Gazey I have no problem with Porn as such and what men and women get out of it but I find leering at scantily clad women a bit . I know that’s probably a bit strange as most people would think porn is worse.
Anyway talk about your sex life. Don’t sit back and wait to be seduced

geekone · 30/08/2018 10:06

Sorry for the million typos

Original poster

Qwertykeyboard789 · 30/08/2018 13:56

Thanks all. I tried to come onto him a few times, last one being Sunday night, and so far I’ve had “I have a headache” and “it’s too late, I’m tired.” Then the last time he moved away from me when I tried and said “Not now.”
Funnily enough we used to watch porn together often, but that seemed to disappear after I had our Son.
Oh, and when I asked how he would feel if I did the same thing he said he honestly wouldn’t care.
Today he’s simply ignoring me, reaching over me to get things from the kitchen and walking right past me like I’m not there. Feel like getting our Son ready and leaving the house for the day

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