To consider getting in touch with a friend two years after a bust up?

[OrcinusOrca]

I don't know what's wrong with me but I am very nostalgic and reflective at the moment. I've been unwell so that's probably not helped, and so have a few people close to me so I don't know if it has sharpened my perspective or made me think crazy thoughts.

We fell out because I needed support to make a difficult decision and she was very particular in terms of her opinion on what I should do. I was feeling rail-roaded and it was becoming impossible. It's possible the friendship had run its course and this was just how it came to end, I don't know. My DM always says some friendships are not meant to be forever.

I fear rejection big time. I have no contact with my DF and that experience makes me a bit chicken. To some extent I feel like shit happens and nobody died... AIBU to try and get in touch? Do I need a grip?

Why not reach out to her saying you have been thinking of her lately and miss her company? You have nothing to lose. Maybe the friendship can be re-kindled but you won't know till you try. You never know, she might be missing you too. Good luck.

You can only try. If she doesn't respond, you haven't lost anything and you'll know that at least you tried. If she does respond then you can work on your friendship and hopefully get it back on track.

Good luck xx

I have one or two ex-friends that I wish I could reconnect with but like you, I fear rejection. Do you still have her address? You could buy a nice card, maybe a "Sorry" one if you think it's appropriate or just a blank one if not. Put a brief note in it saying that you're sorry about how things turned out, and you've missed her friendship. Then if she wants to get in touch, the ball's in her court.

Tbh, if one of my old friends sent me a card like that, I would be really touched and appreciative of the effort made. I would definitely reply.

@GraceMarks Brilliant idea! I'd find that hard to ignore too and would be really touched that someone had gone to that effort.

I don't think you have anything to lose but prepare to open up the issue again.
I fell out with a good friend, a year or so later moved 3/4 hours away. I vist home and friends every so often and would see her out and about (she also fell out with most of my close friends). I found out her mum had cancer and her dad had died. I reached out and passed on my well wishes for mum / condolences for dad and stated I was sorry for the years of angst and unnecessary drama (even though I still maintain she was in the wrong). We don't speak regular, but if I see her when I'm home we will have a chat and catch up. It's not the friendship I had, I don't think it ever could go back to that, but imo holding grudges doesn't get you anywhere.

I would send her a message and explain briefly that you would like to get in touch. You've got nothing to lose if she says no or doesn't get back to you. Yes, it will hurt and rejection isn´t nice, but that will pass. I think it is worth the risk.

Ok, I'm doing it, I'm going to write a card! I expect I will get radio silence, but at least I won't have any regrets. Thanks for the idea, I never thought to write.