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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To report neighbours to the RSPCA if they don't stop feeding my cat?

27 replies

BonnesVacances · 29/08/2018 19:18

We rehomed a 12 year old cat 6 months ago and he was obese. So our first job as specified by the rehoming charity was to put him on a vet directed diet to get him from 6.2kg to his target weight of 5kg, which we are trying to do. We got him down to 5.9kg and now he's gone up to 6.3kg.

It turns out he would go into neighbours' houses and steal their cats' food so we've been round and apologised for this. We have repeatedly asked neighbours not to feed him, particular NDN. We went round to NDN again last week and she said she had just given him his lunch. Hmm So we have asked her again (now for the 4th time) not to feed him as it will harm his health. Today he didn't eat all of his dinner so I know he's been fed again. Hence my AIBU because surely if she's still feeding him and she knows it's bad for him, she's deliberately harming him?

He's going into the vets to have a couple of teeth out next week and I don't know how to stop him eating elsewhere, especially while he has stiches. He has long hair so a collar saying DO NOT FEED ME won't be very visible. I'm guessing the only option is to keep him inside, but not sure how to address the feeding long term. He's just getting fatter and fatter and we keep being told off by the vets who just says we have to tell the neighbours not to feed him.

OP posts:
ElainaElephant · 29/08/2018 19:20

Tell her that he has a medical condition, and that normal cat food will make him ill.

Hopefully that would stop it.

ChangerChangerson · 29/08/2018 19:20

The RSPCA are pretty useless and wouldn't do anything.

It sounds like you're going to have to keep your cat in if your neighbours' actions are damaging his health.

Wolfiefan · 29/08/2018 19:22

Cat proof your garden.
The RSPCA won't do anything.
Some people are twats. You can say he needs a prescription only diet at £50 a bag so unless they feed that you hope they will pay the vet bills.

garethsouthgatesmrs · 29/08/2018 19:24

I would put something in writing to your neighbours explaining that you may need to report them. Ridiculous people!

sunshinesupermum · 29/08/2018 19:25

Agree with pp - cat proof your garden or keep him indoors.

WeAreEternal · 29/08/2018 19:31

He’s not having an op to have his teeth out, he’s having a stomach/digestive op isn’t he?
One that will mean he can only eat special food, any normal cat food can kill him as certain ingredients make his stomach problems worse and if it flares up again the vet has told you he’ll need to be put to sleep because there is nothing else they can do.....
I would put on my best teary, sad face, go round with a hanky, explain all of that, occasionally stopping for a sad, staggered intake of breath, and tell her since you’ve only been feeding him his specially prescribed food it’s the food she had been giving him that’s caused the condition to worsen and as a result the need for this operation and if she doesn’t stop feeding him it will likely kill him.

But I would definitely be keeping him on house arrest for the foreseeable future.

00100001 · 29/08/2018 19:33

Keep on telling them.

Keep him indoors

Duchessgummybuns · 29/08/2018 19:34

I had this. They then pretty much stole my cat by keep feeding her cream and things that were bad for her so I would be calling for her at night and she wouldn’t come home. They also somehow expected me to use my Jedi mind powers to make her leave them alone when they didn’t want her coming in through their window, bloody idiots.

Only thing that stopped them was keeping the cat in, which she hated. I then rehoned her with my mum who doesn’t have shitgibbons for neighbours. Everybody happy (except for my neighbour, whom I told to fuck off).

Purpleartichoke · 29/08/2018 19:36

Keep him indoors. He shouldn’t be on the neighbors property to begin with. If he wanders over there and they choose to feed him, I really don’t think you gave any right to complain.

Besides, outdoors is full of food messing with the prescribed diet.

Taylor22 · 29/08/2018 20:07

Unfortunately OP there's nothing you can do to stop them. If you are allowing your cat to roam then you have no control over what happens outside of your property.
Other people could be feeding him.
He could be stealing other food or scavenging from bins etc.

yunalis · 29/08/2018 20:19

In fairness, if they have cats and therefore have cat food out anyway, it can be bloody hard to stop random cats coming in and eating. With the summer we've had it's been a nightmare because the back door and windows are open. I have one that needs to put weight on so he always has dry food to graze on. I'm not sure what I could be expected to do if I was your neighbour.

I think cat proofing your garden or keeping him in are your only options.

CoolGirlsNeverGetAngry · 29/08/2018 20:23

Tell your neighbour that if you are sharing a cat it’s only fair to share the vet bills too

Poloshot · 29/08/2018 20:24

Stop him going on neighbours property if it's that much of a concern

kaytee87 · 29/08/2018 20:27

I agree with the pp saying cat proof your garden so your cat can't go onto others properties and shit all over their gardens. You really can't control what your cat is eating if you're letting it roam around and it's your responsibility. I suspect that's what the RSPCA will tell you too.

CherryChatsworth · 29/08/2018 20:29

Stop feeding him yourself and let them crack on with the cost of it? He'll soon. Tell you if he's hungry

Dollymixture22 · 29/08/2018 20:51

Could you try a vets diet collar? And keeping him in as much as possible? Explain to her that the vet is very concerned about him and you really don’t want to have to rehome him because of her

Laiste · 29/08/2018 21:02

It's not too hard to cat proof your garden. We did it 2 houses ago. A load of those L brackets you hang hanging baskets on round the perimeter at about chest/shoulder height and then dark garden or pond netting stretched across the top of the brackets and secured against the wall or fence. The cats wont jump onto the netting 'shelf' because it's hard to see and they can't climb/crawl up behind it if you secure the edges of it to the wall or fence.

An added bonus was that it kept other cats out as well.

cadburyegg · 29/08/2018 21:08

My dad has Alzheimer’s and feeds his NDN’s cat because he forgets that he shouldn’t (he has also been told not to). There’s not a lot my mum can do to stop him tbh other than keep reminding him. Cats might have the “right to roam” but if it’s affecting your cat’s health then it’s your responsibility to keep him in. I don’t think the RSPCA would take you seriously.

BertieBott · 29/08/2018 21:11

You can buy a cat flap with a chip to only allow in the cat that lives there.
If you can afford it, buy it to keep your cat out of their house, and also tell the ‘special medical diet’ story.

Original poster
BonnesVacances · 31/08/2018 11:09

Thanks. I'll try the story about digestion/ medical problems and needing an operation for it.

I accept the point about how annoying it is cats going into neighbours' gardens but think the RSPCA would have more to say about not letting a cat roam which is probably cruel. (I had the same argument levied at me when I wanted to put a muzzle on the dog next door who barks all day) In this case it's a NDN who is deliberately feeding him anyway and enticing him into her house, not a cat who is trespassing.

I'll get a collar too just in case anyone is able to see it.

OP posts:
chaoscategorised · 31/08/2018 11:25

We had almost this exact problem with my mum's cat - except the neighbour's house was also full of fleas, which ended up causing our other cat, which has a weird flea allergy, to be quite poorly (as well as all the associated nightmare of treating the house repeatedly). RSPCA did nothing. The police eventually were called (long story!) over some harassment by the neighbour, and they did nothing either. We were told to keep the cat in (which he doesn't like and is only just getting used to, 8 months later), give him to a shelter for rehoming (as a 13 year old, pretty scruffy black cat, he's likely going to spend the rest of his life in there) or put up with it. So unfortunately I don't think there's much you can do! I'm sorry though, it's so frustrating.

Saracen · 01/09/2018 00:40

At his age, he might be reasonably content to stay in your garden if you can cat-proof the fencing.

My DSis had two fat elderly cats which had always been kept indoors. The vet encouraged her to start letting them out for a bit of exercise and it transformed both of them, even though they never left their own garden. Not only did they lose weight, but they also seemed to take a greater interest in life and had a spark in their eyes. So if I were you I wouldn't shut your cat in altogether for any length of time, but maybe try to keep him in your garden.

ColdCottage · 01/09/2018 00:47

Ask your vet to write a letter for you and hand out copies. Post cats pic and the letter laminated on local lamp posts for a few weeks.

Good luck.

Belina · 01/09/2018 01:38

The rspca wont do anything.
I have had a cat stalk and bully my cat for 3 years and I called them multiple times but wont do anything. It has ripped my cats tail and stress my other one he died of a uti.
Also damaged my blinds trying to get out when it sees me.
I'm sick of it no matter how much water or shouting I do at it It comes back no matter what

Whatsthisbear · 01/09/2018 15:28

I have a tag on my cats collar which I had engraved with “Allergies. Do not feed me” as one of the neighbours was giving him saucers of milk meaning we had bloodied diarrhoea in his litter tray whenever they gave it him.

Def worth saying about digestive issues, I would also be tempted to tell her that you will be passing any vets bills to her if she continues to feed him. That might make her stop Grin

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