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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Bloody screens!!

16 replies

mikado1 · 29/08/2018 15:22

I will start by saying I don't ban 'screentime' but I definitely limit it and especially in good weather, think children should be outside playing or playing with their toys or drawing or traditional resting. It feels like now screens, especially tablets and consoles are the default for kids. But here's the bit that's getting me recently, not my kids in our house but in others' houses/on the road - yes children are bringing their tablets outside to play! Every parent has the right to choose what their child can do it but it drives me mad if ds goes to another's house, or outside, it's screens screens screens. I think it's such a pity when they've company not to play together. Ive just had to say no him going to a friends to play fortnite as he spent the bulk of a playdate on an Xbox.. do others do the same? Keep them in for fear of round the clock screens? I really don't want to do that but nor can I expect others to do what I do- no screens bar a cartoon or two in between playing if we've someone round.

Aibu or do others feel like this?

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mikado1 · 29/08/2018 15:29

Traditional resting? Haven't a clue what I meant to type!

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araiwa · 29/08/2018 15:31

I dont understand this obsession with screen time. Yabu

user1496668552 · 29/08/2018 15:34

We have the problem that my child's friend brought another console round and plugged it in to our TV. We couldn't get the TV to work properly for 2 days afterwards.

I couldn't say anything as the parent came too to have a chat and a cuppa. I was quite annoyed about it as they didn't ask whether I was happy for them to get behind our TV and start plugging things in - also we already have 2 Xbox's and with 4 controllers - surely that's enough for 3 children to play with?

mikado1 · 29/08/2018 15:36

It's because of how addictive it is, how unsocial, how it effects the developing brain etc (lots of studies done) and because of the opposite: how beneficial peer play and independent play is. I think it's fine to use it to chill for an hour or so but it seems so constant.

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mikado1 · 29/08/2018 15:45

That's bad user, of course they should have asked.

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user1496668552 · 29/08/2018 15:50

sorry - didn't actually refer to your aibu - I would say yanbu. When friends visit I usually allow one hour play on screens then do something else but I couldn't do much about that on the visit I mentioned above.

I feel just like you.

GiveMeAllTheGin8 · 29/08/2018 15:50

I feel the same. Really annoying when a friend brings a ds or an iPad over! I always put it away and give them something to play with.
Dd has used the iPad every day over the summer when she is usualku only allowed it on weekends. She has never been into watching tv so I thought the iPad would be the same but unfortunately she is obsessed with it.
Nearly back to school time and an will only be allowed it on weekend mornings again.

mikado1 · 29/08/2018 15:54

Yes agree re iPad being worse for some reason. We had a lovely neighbour in the other day, they played for an hour in the garden. Ds went to his the following day and when I went to collect 'I can't get them off the tablet the whole time'.. im also a bit concerned about supervision/content etc which I'd be very aware of at home.

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Cagliostro · 29/08/2018 15:58

I’m torn really. I am very strict on screen time at home generally but when seeing friends I tend to just let it go.

It’s quite fun seeing what they come up with though, I may feel different if it were more sit down gaming type thing (they aren’t into fortnite etc yet) - they like making videos etc and can be surprisingly inventive. Recently one friend of DD’s who has really restricted eating actually tried some different food as they’d decided to do a “food tasting vlog”. So that was pretty cool and made me realise screens aren’t always negative and when combined with socialising can be a positive thing.

I remain strict at home though and they are very active kids who still play with toys (eldest is 11 and would happily receive more playmobil at Xmas for example) so I am happy with the balance they have.

mikado1 · 30/08/2018 13:54

No one else must be bothered by this then!

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claraschu · 19/12/2018 03:06

I completely agree with you OP. I think it is tragic that screens are dominating childhood.

When my kids were little we didn't have any screens at all, partly because I wanted to avoid the negotiations about "screen time". I did make an effort to make the house really fun for visitors in a lot of ways, as I was hoping they wouldn't miss their screens.

I never worried about what my kids did at their friends' houses, because for me the problem is the amount of time kids spend on screens, and not the dangerous content, so as long as technology wasn't taking over my kids' lives, it didn't seem too destructive.

Huntawaymama · 19/12/2018 04:28

It's such a shame but adults are as bad as kids. We recently did an activity with a group of friends where there were no phones, once we got back to the house dh and I were making a cuppa and when we got into the living room our friends has put the tv on and were all staring at their phones. Dh turned the tv and in a jokey kind of way asked them all what the hell was wrong with them. My friend said recently that she didn't need to buy her 5yo any toys for Xmas as he spent all his time on the xbox so she'd just buy him some games and was buying her 3yo a tablet. It made me so sad but at the same time I worry my Dds will be really behind their peers in school for the lack of screen practice

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