To ask what would happen if...

[FeelingDodgy]

I have name changed for this as I’m a regular poster but I need views from those who may know.

In short, I have been feeling very down of late. Some days brighter than others. Some days I feel sick a lot some I’m knackered all day or in pain and some days I’m ‘normal’. On my days when I’m feeling very low, I won’t lie, but I feel like I want to die, disappear or be gone. I hate myself those days. Today is a good day bar feeling sick and to write about the bad days sounds so stupid but on a bad day I feel awful, low, disgusting and like I want to be gone. My GP tells me I have a Vit D and folic acid deficiency and I have meds for that but nothing else. I have worked through my bad days for well over a year because I don’t want to tell anyone. We were on holiday recently and I had a block of bad days and found myself looking on google about dieing and it’s affect on others, how to dissapear etc etc.

So my question is, if I were to go to my GP about these ‘issues’, would I then have SS on my back or a MH team? I don’t want people checking up on me or having my kids safety put in to question because they’re completely safe and it’s not about me hurting them, just me myself and I, but I do hate it when I’m on a bad day and I have no idea what to do.

Thankyou.

Sorry, lots of questions in that post! You don’t have to answer any of them, just want you to know you’re not alone. When my dh and I first moved in together he used to wonder why I found chores etc so overwhelming, he said that reading about depression and BPD online really helped him understand it. If you saw a dr and got diagnosed with depression or were referred for counselling would he maybe be a little more helpful/understanding? I’m not saying you do have depression, I just think maybe talking to a professional might help. You sound like a lovely mum and you deserve to be listend to x

I’m trying to message you so bare with me!

No worries, I’m not going anywhere. I find the private messaging on this site tricky! X

I’ve done it, I don’t know if it’s worked...

Are your Vitamin D and folic acid levels back to normal?

Because what you describe is typical of low vitamin levels.

Get your B12 checked too, and then re check to make sure they are back to normal.

I have to go back to the gp in October to arrange blood tests to see how it’s going. I must admit I missed 1 tablet this week and felt like I’d missed a weeks worth.

I’ve replied

Vitamin D deficiany is horrid, would you consider making a gp appt sooner than October to discuss everything?

@user1471462115

If I get my bloods tested after my meds have finished, will the levels go back to normal themselves or will they deplete again if I’m not on the meds?

The kind of exhaustion and apathy you describe is a typical physical symptom of depression. Yes, it can also be down to vitamin deficiency but I've had both and yours sounds more like depression to me - it's basically a (brain) chemical deficiency rather than a vitamin deficiency, and not something you should worry about talking about your dr about at all. It won't trigger any reporting or referral - it's way too common.

Thankyou @HMC2000, that’s really reassuring to know.

Vitamin D needs to be given in very large doses to correct a deficiency.
Most GPs don't give you enough and then don't re measure to check you are now in range.

It is very likely levels will fall once you stop the supplement as our diet just does not give us enough as we don't eat enough Vitamin D rich foods, or get enough sunshine on skin that has no sunblock on it.

The recommendation is that we should all have a multi vitamin in the winter months to provide at least a tiny amount of Vit D. Start when the clocks go back and stop when they go forward is a good way to do it.

Depression and Vit D have similar symptoms so if you still feel awful once your Vit D is normal then you need a serotonin boost.

And low folate contributes to anaemia which makes you feel exhausted too.

Sort your Vitamin levels first and then treat the low serotonin once they are normal.

My depression lifted when I corrected my Vitamin D levels , and left a stressful job.......

Ask your Dr for a print out of you blood results and check you levels once a year.

@user1471462115

Thankyou, this is really helpful info.