To have promised a grand?

[Aprilshowersinaugust]

Dc 3 is looking to buy a house imminently, I have promised a grand towards deposit, def def not well off but feel able to manage it and not be skint! Dc 1+dc 2 rent, have spoken to dc 1 and after initially being miffed, accepted the cash would also come their way when the house purchasing time came to them
Now I am worried that dc 2 - who is crap with cash and is on a debt management plan - isn't going to be so accepting of my plan. I have paid bills /food shopped and emotionally supported each and every dc as /when necessary, at the expense of my own mh and purse many times.
Should I have just not bothered and booked a spa week end with my cash instead?

Personally I think giving money to one DC and not the others is asking for family resentments. What if DC1 or DC2 never want to buy a house for whatever reason?

They've already had more than that amount of money anyway! What resentment can their be at getting more money?

I can't be doing with all this exact amounts to everyone all the time or else attitude, I think it breeds entitlement and neediness. I've taught my children not to count up what each other gets, and that what I choose to give them is up to me. I'm very fair overall and it all evens up over time, but none of this he got X so I demand X as well bollocks.

Wow. I really don’t see the problem with offering the other 2 the same for a house deposit, when / if the time comes.

If they don’t want to take up this very generous offer then they can swivel...... ungrateful gets!

Don't keep these things secret - it will come out at some point. Try to be fair, give help to whichever child needs it. We keep a reckoning and they know that if (when😱) we die, they need to even things up before they split what's left.