who is being unreasonable

7 replies

fairyofallthings · 29/08/2018 11:09

DD, 14, is going on a school residential to Europe in October half term. She came home, asked if she could go and applied for a place. Normally during half term she would spend some time with her father but obviously can't, it's not something arranged as part of a court order just an ad-hoc thing.

Now he's kicking off saying that it is more important that she spends time with him than goes off with her friends on a school jolly and wants her to pull out of the trip. She is saying that he's being a twat because he hasn't seen her at all in the summer holidays because he went away for three weeks and was busy the other three (he's a teacher).

OP posts:

OutPinked · 29/08/2018 11:10

Yes, he is a twat and as a teacher should fully understand the importance of school trips.

MinorRSole · 29/08/2018 11:12

At 14 she can make her own mind up. He didn't make her a priority in the 6 week summer holiday so I'm not surprised she isn't making him a priority either. The residential trip will be fun and is a good opportunity for her. He sounds like an arse and is definitely the unreasonable one.

ShawshanksRedemption · 29/08/2018 11:18

Your ex is being unreasonable. I'd quote back at him that if it was so important she spend time with him during the holidays he should've seen her during the last 6weeks and made that a priority.

He needs to be mature about it all, sit down and discuss access rather than dictate. She's 14 and has a mind of her own, and she will no doubt get fed up quickly if he doesn't take into account her wishes as she gets older.

Cat2lady · 29/08/2018 11:19

At the end of the day she’s 14 and can make her own mind up! If he couldn’t make time for her over six weeks then he’s BU expecting her to cancel her school trip.

Sailinghappy · 29/08/2018 11:20

She’s old enough to decide what she’d rather prioritise in her half term. If her dad has gone away for three weeks over summer, why shouldn’t she go away for the Oct half term? On a separate note, I think it’s awful that he’s made no effort to see her all summer - how terrible for her!!! I would let her go for sure!

ElainaElephant · 29/08/2018 11:24

So it's OK for him to prioritise a holiday over his daughter (who is legally and morally his responsibility), but it's not OK for her to prioritise a holiday over seeing her dad?

I think the answer is clear..

SnuggyBuggy · 29/08/2018 11:27

If he actually gave a shit he would make time for her and appreciate that this is a great opportunity for her. Sounds a bit me me me from his POV.

Flip