To expect toddler to go to sleep!

[Lazyi]

DD2 (aged 2.5) struggles to get to sleep at night. She has gone through phases of this, and we finally got her to sleep later by using a glow clock. She usually has a nap of about an hour between 1 and 3. We try to get her down around 7.30. I’m pretty sure she is tired, and it is hard to wake her up from her nap.

She will not go to sleep easily at night. She is still in a cot (we have tried to put her in DD1’s bunk bed, but it was a disaster). She howls and climbs out of the cot. We have to sit with her, often for 1.5/2hrs. We have a new baby, and this is not sustainable once my DP goes back to work.

A star chart worked for 5 days.
Excess Praise and encouragement has worked occasionally in he past.
Controlled Crying has worked in the past, about 2 months ago and longer... do I need to revert back to this and put her back in the cot when she gets out?
There have been lots of changes for her (new baby, stopping childminder, travel due to death in the family) and she is about to start nursery. She is a creature of habit.

Many thanks in advance!!

Supernanny has some good techniques, they are hard work but they do pay off. Along the lines of constantly putting them back in bed every time they get out. First time you just say "it's bedtime now" and then after that saying nothing. Have a look on her website or watch some episodes.

Do you need the cot for the baby? Id be inclined to get her out of the cot becsuse the climbing out sounds dangerous. Plus she is too old for it really, she needs to learn to sleep in a bed.

Hope you find something that works for you guys, difficult bedtimes are so frustrating.

My daughter is just over 2.5 and dropped her nap most days (unless she is in the pushchair or car seat) months ago. We were finding that she couldn’t get to sleep in the evenings and when we changed her to a bed she stopped napping in the day as she just gets up.

Since she dropped it, she is asleep within a couple of minutes of us turning out the light, usually before 7

My ds dropped his nap just after 2yrs so she may not need it. On days he had a nap he was really hard to get to bed/sleep so i would try getting rid or reducing to about half an hour.
Could you try a toddler bed instead of the cot with a gate on the door?

Could you try an earlier nap? What time does she wake up? DS is 2 and has his nap at around 11. If he hasn't had one by 1pm then we keep him awake as otherwise he won't go to sleep (goes to bed at 7, usually asleep by 730)

My 2 year old was the same. If she had a nap then bed time was all messed up, taking 2 hours for her to drift off. Even though she still seemed tired midday I had to keep her awake rather than her napping and she did start going to sleep at half 7. Even now at nearly three if she falls asleep on the sofa (even if only for 10 mins until I spot her) she won't go to sleep at bed time and messes around.
Hope that helps, all the best!

My youngest is coming up to 2.5 and hasn’t had a daytime nap for a long time now so she may not need one if struggling to go down to sleep at night.

What was the problem with the bed? Mine is in a cot still but doesn’t try to climb out which would worry me.

I swear by the super nanny approach - every time they get out, you plonk them straight back, no positive or negative interaction to encourage them to carry on. It takes some perseverance for a few nights (and you absolutely can’t give in). I did this when my boy was about 3, and the first few night took up to 70 times per night putting him back, he would bring toys out and throw them at me for a reaction (I would calmly take whatever was thrown and put it in a little pile next to me), but within a week it was working and we were down to just a handful of times. I think my boy was extra persistent, as we later found out he has additional needs which affect his sleep, but it still worked. Stick with the groclock too, my boy is 9 now and still likes it in his room as a quick reference if he wakes up in the night.

Mine is the same age. About 6 months ago we went through a similar phase and resolved it quickly with the supernanny techniques described above.

The nap is too late. If mine woke up at 3pm he’d be up until 9pm. I would try either trying to get her down earlier, say 12-1pm, or dropping it and seeing what happens.

I would also take the side off the cot/move her to a bed. The climbing out is dangerous and you’ll end up having a second battle if you keep her in there then move her to a few in a few months. Would be inclined to bite the bullet and do a week of being really firm, then she’ll get the message.

Thank you! I will digest this all shortly!

The nap is too late. You need them awake 5 hours before bedtime. So if bedtime is 7.30, nap ends 2.30.

This advice is all excellent, thank you. We don’t need cot for baby yet, as she is in with us, and she seems to get out of the cot very easily and quietly, so I am not worried about the danger, however, I accept the point about the bed. I’d selfishly like her to keep the naps for a while, as I use that time for other things. However, I accept I might need to sacrifice that for an easier night! We have another disrupted two weeks, so I am going to proceed as follows:

Earlier naps (just put her down at 11.30 and she went to sleep at 11.50).
Remove nap
Super nanny techniques

I will put her in a bed again when we get back to our normal routine in a week or so.

Thanks all, it’s geeat to get advice and to hear suggestions that I haven’t thought f!

L

Good luck! I have a non-sleeper almost 3 year old and plan on using supernanny technique to get him to stay in bed/go to sleep as soon as we move.

He's still in a cot but doesn't really fit in it now, but we can't fit a bed in where we are currently, as we're all sharing one room. It's a nightmare.

Almost 2 year old*

I found that having a pillow, and a new quilt cover that he liked, helped DS.