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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Anxiety

23 replies

chitterchitter3322 · 29/08/2018 00:21

Hi all,

DD2 (13 years old) has came to me today and said she thinks she has generalised anxiety disorder and she wants to be diagnosed.

She read up the symptoms and said she matches most and tells me they have been there for around a year.

For example, she always takes a FULL (must be to the top or it extremely irritates her) bottle of water to bed every single night in case she "wakes up and desperately needs it" and if she doesn't have it she will go into a huge panic and not sleep.

Should I go and take her to her GP? I know a lot of children at her school at her age (especially girls) have been self diagnosing mental illnesses like anxiety so I don't know if it's a bandwagon she's trying to jump on.

OP posts:

Pinkandproud · 29/08/2018 00:23

Unless she has form for lying about such things, why would you NOT take her to the GP?

AllDayBreakfast · 29/08/2018 00:24

It's extremely common...

premiertav · 29/08/2018 00:27

Have you not noticed anything over the past year to indicate she is suffering anxiety?

CardsforKittens · 29/08/2018 00:28

I think if she wants to see the GP you should take her. My daughter was quite anxious at that age and although the GP didn't want to diagnose her, she was referred to CAMHS which was helpful (but it was a long wait for an appointment).

It seems that mental health problems in teens are increasing so I wouldn't say it's any kind of bandwagon. If she's asking for help, she needs some kind of support.

Original poster

chitterchitter3322 · 29/08/2018 00:31

The water bottle thing spoke out to me a lot.

Also when choosing her clothes, she gets really panicked and anxious because she feels like if she will wear leggings or jeans even in cold weather it'll suddenly get hot and she'd regret it and it can make her cry sometimes.

OP posts:

NoMudNoLotus · 29/08/2018 00:31

As a mental health nurse i say that anxiety is part of life and medicalising this at such a young age is not good.

Help her to focus on coping skills rather than diagnosis ... eg grounding techniques, mindfulness.

The treatment will only be the same anyway ...

garethsouthgatesmrs · 29/08/2018 00:32

Yes take her. They know how to diagnose.

I do the drink thing though. I hate not having a drink by my bed and my hand cream even though I quite often use neither.

She may or may not be self diagnosing correctly but a GP is better qualified to say than you.

garethsouthgatesmrs · 29/08/2018 00:33

Help her to focus on coping skills rather than diagnosis ... eg grounding techniques, mindfulness.

These are not necessarily things that the OP can help her daughter with. Surely there is some support she can get from someone trained?

Pinkandproud · 29/08/2018 00:40

It sounds like she definitely needs professional support, in whatever form this may take

BlueSuffragette · 29/08/2018 00:42

Yes seek help for her from GP. Teenage years are stressful for children. May refer to CAAMHS for her to talk to councillor. Headspace app is free and brilliant for short relaxation de-stress mental wind-down she can do on her own.

Mumof1andacat · 29/08/2018 00:44

Are there any local youth counselling services local to you? A referral from a gp is not always needed to access these. Some schools offering counselling too

ThinkingCat · 29/08/2018 00:44

NoMudNoLotus I am interested to hear your view as a mental health nurse that "anxiety is part of life" and that it's better to "focus on coping skills rather than diagnosis" because that kind of sums up what I feel, but the trend nowadays seems to be that people prefer to have a diagnosed condition.

I was reading in a CBT book that you once you name your condition eg Anxiety, you can treat it as a kind of external monster that you are fighting, rather than part of yourself. I know this isn't AMA, but I'd be interested to know what you think about that.

OP, not going off topic, I think this is relevant to young people seeking labels for how they feel.

GlossyGlossy · 29/08/2018 00:45

Listen to your daughter and take her to the GP.

If you minimise what she tells you she's feeling and it isn't just "bandwagon jumping" you are sending her a message that her feelings aren't valid. I was anxious, depressed and self-harmed at her age, my parents didn't understand, didn't seek support and I've spent the rest of my life hiding away and not getting proper help.

Lisabel · 29/08/2018 01:12

Listen to your daughter's concerns but I also don't think she necessarily needs a diagnosis.

If you can afford it then you could look for a good CBT therapist to help her with her anxiety.

GAD is a very broad diagnosis but it sounds from your brief description more like normal anxiety- usually with disorders you see very definite effects on school work, leisure activities and family life.

NoMudNoLotus · 29/08/2018 02:02

@garethsouthgatesmrs there are some really good apps for adolescents on grounding and mindfulness... these often work well for young people because technology / apps are very much their means of communicating.

CSIblonde · 29/08/2018 05:12

I'd take her to the GP. And get CBT for Dummies. It gives clear, simple coping strategies for anxiety and explains how to challenge & deal with catastrophising & negative thoughts. If I'd read it at 15 i wouldn't have had such a miserable time with anxiety in my 20's.

agnurse · 29/08/2018 05:18

Agree with the GP. This is NOT normal.

In my area, counselling is always the first line treatment for children and teens with anxiety. Medications are only used as a secondary treatment and then very carefully. (Benzodiazepines are NOT commonly used for anxiety anymore as they are potentially addictive and don't address the underlying cause. Antidepressants are used instead and to good effect. You do have to be careful with them in children and teens because they can increase the risk for suicide.)

Monty27 · 29/08/2018 05:30

She's just growing up and needs you OP. Bugger all that CBT stuff it's just normal surely.
She may just have confidence issues and grow out of it with support from her loved ones.
I know I am going to get lambasted for saying that.
I think the minute they are given outside care support they will then feel labelled and unable to cope even more.
I'm running now.

SamanthaJayne4 · 29/08/2018 09:14

I use tapping for mild anxiety. Sounds silly but it does work for me. You can see videos about it on YouTube. I have Diazepam for bad situations but so far haven't taken any. I tap instead and repeat as necessary.

Pinkandproud · 29/08/2018 09:58

Monty27 You have no fucking idea what you’re talking about. My parents tried that, just thought I’d grow out of it and I resent them beyond belief for it. Don’t give out dangerous advice when you have no evidence for it. It’s not just “not very PC” and another innocent opinion. I really hope you don’t have children.

OP, if your DD was telling you she had severe pain in her stomach or chest pain, would you think to ignore it and hope it goes away? Of course not.

Mental health problems are on the increase as our lives become ever more complicated and chaotic. We sometimes need help to navigate this. Teenage girls especially are under an immense amount of pressure. It doesn’t matter whether you call it a disorder or whatever, she needs strategies to cope and for someone to listen and help her manage her day to day life better. She needs professional input.

NoMudNoLotus · 29/08/2018 23:07

Please ignore @Monty27 .

Skilling young people up to cope with anxiety, low mood and distress is critical in this age.

As i said earlier i would avoid any diagnosing ... but all other suggestions on here are entirely valid.

Also please have a look at the Get.gg website - i care for adolescent females in a mental health setting and get a lot of info / grounding techniques/ self help / cbt off that website for our young women , as do many psychologists. It is a really good website (for anybody tbh ).

hungryhippo90 · 29/08/2018 23:25

Please take her to have it diagnosed, ask to see if there is a GP in the surgery who deals with the Mental health appointments. I’ve recently seen a new Dr, as a matter of course he likes to deal with the MH appts because he has had his own brush with anxiety.

He was the best Dr I’ve ever seen for my anxiety. He aligned my expectations a bit, he said if I’m a natural worrier I will always have anxiety to some degree, but with a bit of medication, and some daily exercises I could see a drastic improvement. He told me to make sure over the day that I interact with 3 people in a thankful/complimenting manner, that I write down 3 things I like about myself, 3 things I am thankful for, and spend 15 minutes meditating, and 15mins walking or exercising per day.

It’s helped. I wish I’d have been taken to the drs when I was younger as I know I had anxiety symptoms since I was about 7-8, at the time I had no idea but I now know.

Monty27 · 30/08/2018 02:12

I am so sorry for upsetting people. And yes I have DC's in their 20s now.
I guess I have lost touch.
I am very sorry. I wasn't being disrespectful. Just unaware.

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