To think ex's gf shouldnt comment to my kids about how I parent?

[treehuggerlover95]

Might not be the right place for this but I'm fuming tonight as my two kids have come back from a week away with their dad and his gf to tell me that his gf is making comments about my parenting. This isn't a new thing but I've now had enough. She comments on their bedtimes, their after school activities, homework, absences from school (either for illness or approved by the head for one off educational opportunities), my choice of school for them (ex chose to have no input in that) along with lots of little jibes about me and blatant lies about our marriage. I'm NC with my ex due to DV but my solicitor has told him she needs to stop making comments. She's trying to alienate me from the kids I think but they are not stupid and can see what she's doing. I'd ignore it but my kids are getting really upset and feel very conflicted when she does this as she's making them feel guilty for being ill (not that they are ill often, attendance is 97%). WTF is her problem??

Just ignore and tell your kids to do the same.

They will realise the truth for themselves in the end.

Are they older? If they are genuine uncomfortable with it and are old enough to express this could you get your solicitor to write a formal letter telling your ex that his children are uncomfortable?

I know someone just like that. She is a total bitch. Almost wrote ‘say hi to for me’.

Unfortunately, the person I know is being successful in her attempts to alienate the kids from their mother.

It is good that your children recognise this. I’d love to tell you to tKe the high road and model good behaviour but I know how hard that can be. Really just wanted to let you know that you aren’t the only one in this situation,

💐

Ouch, not great.
How old are the kids? Would they be able to talk back to the bitch gf?

They are 9 and 11 and scared of her.

She's jealous and goady - you've got his kids and she's presumably trying to convince herself that she would be so much better. I'd be considering whether to stop the contact if the DC are coming home confused and miserable.

I'm going to speak to my solicitor again about things.

I'd be onto my Solicitor straight away for advice, your dc don't need to hear her running you down and being made to feel bad.

Yes I would stop contact if that environment is making them miserable and upset, not to mention scared.

No YANBU.

I am a stepmum and regardless of my opinion of DP's ExW's parenting, I would never comment on it to or in front of their DC. I have even told DP off for this in the past^ as there are things she does that he doesn't agree with and vice versa. His ExW does^ say things to their DC about DP & I (as they have told us), but I don't want to give her the satisfaction of retaliation. I wouldn't expect my ExH's DP to comment about my parenting to our children (what she may or may not say behind my back is none of my concern!), so no I don't think you are BU, particularly if it affecting your DC. But as someone else said, they will realise the truth for themselves in the end.

Good luck xx

Not sure where all that italic font came from, sorry

She's out of order. Its not good that they're scared of her.

Definetly speak to your solicitor about it.

Ive emailed the solicitor and awaiting a reply. He's waiting on my legal aid certificate being extended to be able to do I have more than monitor the situation .

Solicitor is watching and waiting at the moment as other stuff to sort first before the gf. She's now moaning to the children about where I shop for various things and wants to know where I get the money from for my knickers I think I'm only supposed to have supermarket brand knickers. Nothing wrong with that but if I want a nice matching set from somewhere else then that's my business. I'm not talking agent provocateur here either!