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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Jewellery from old boyfriends.....

21 replies

constantlyseekinghappiness · 28/08/2018 20:17

Not an AIBU, but a WWYD?

I’m currently packing up my flat to move in with DP, been together a year now.

Just wondering what people tend to do with jewellery given by old boyfriends, etc? Do you keep it? Throw it away? Charity shop?

I’ve come across some nice Swarovski jewellery I’ve previously been bought by an ex - haven’t worn it since the breakup but have clearly kept it over the last 6 years since the relationship ended. I don’t want to keep it any longer.

WWYD?

OP posts:

blueangel1 · 28/08/2018 20:18

There are a few bits from the distant past that I've kept, but I have got rid of all the jewellery that EXH bought me as he was a cheating, narcissistic twat and I know I would never wear the stuff again.

I sold a couple of the more expensive bits on Ebay and then donated the other stuff to a charity auction.

LusaCole · 28/08/2018 20:19

I've got a necklace an ex gave me. I haven't worn it for years but I haven't got rid of it either, it just sits in its box. I don't have any feelings at all for the ex but somehow I wouldn't want to get rid of it.

Not sure if that helps you at all!

BlueJava · 28/08/2018 20:22

I don't think it matters where it's come from. If you like it then wear it, if you don't charity shop/ebay if you can be bothered!

bibbidybobbidyboo · 28/08/2018 20:25

My view is quite ruthless:

Is it a gorgeous piece that I love, regardless of where it came from? Is it the sort of thing I would have chosen for myself in a heartbeat? Then keep, and wear.

Is it something I didn't love when I was first given it, but grew to love because of how much I loved the person who gave it to me and what it represented? Do I still look on that relationship fondly for what it gave me and how I grew as a person? Keep in a box.

Did I hate it at first sight and still hate it? Was the ex a dick who I think of with nothing but scorn? Bin/sell/donate.

Those are the guidelines. Sometimes there are exceptions (i.e. I loved the piece but the ex was a dick who I hate to think about: bin) but it's a good starting point!

Essexdarling · 28/08/2018 20:27

I’d get rid... onwards and upwards, if it’s of no real (monetary) value, donate it to charity, at least the money raised can go to a good cause

Original poster

constantlyseekinghappiness · 28/08/2018 20:28

@LusaCole that’s exactly how I’m feeling. I have absolutely no feelings for my ex, things ended very badly. Yet it doesn’t feel right just chucking it in the bin. Maybe a charity shop is a good option.

OP posts:

OutPinked · 28/08/2018 20:30

I took a necklace a horrible ex gave me straight to a pawn shop . That was years ago but it felt very cathartic. I don’t keep anything from exes.

Original poster

constantlyseekinghappiness · 28/08/2018 20:33

@OutPinked oooh I didn’t think of that, a pawn shop! Could make a few pennies, although I don’t imagine much. They’re not expensive pieces of jewellery.

OP posts:

Returnofthesmileybar · 28/08/2018 20:34

Keep it if I like it and don't if I don't, doesn't matter who gave it to me it's mine

Jengnr · 28/08/2018 20:48

I have gravy boat given to me by an ex sitting in the cupboard in the house I share with my husband. We use it all the time.

It might not sound as good as jewellery but ot was one of the kindest gifts I've ever been given* and there is no way I was getting rid. It helps that the ex isn't a massive dickhead though :)

*this makes me sound a lot more boring than I am

princessmum1 · 28/08/2018 21:11

I am currently having the same dilemma but it’s an engagement ring. Ex wanted me to keep it and possibly give to my daughter when she’s older. But another part of me thinks he’s screwed so much money out of me I should just sell it to claw some back for the future...

whatwouldkeithRichardsdo2 · 28/08/2018 21:56

I was given quite a few books that I can't part with. They are out on the shelves. The ones with inscriptions are hidden in a box.

serbska · 28/08/2018 21:58

I haven’t had anything very expensive bought by an ex - guess if I had I would either keep it and wear it if I liked it and the memories, or sell it if not!

BunsOfAnarchy · 28/08/2018 21:59

Charity shop. Ebay. Shpock

Dont throw away though.

puzzledlady · 28/08/2018 22:06

My ex asked for his stuff back - I have it back.

Girlwiththearabstrap · 28/08/2018 22:10

I would keep it if I liked it enough to wear it. If I didn't I'd get rid of it - charity, give it away, sell etc. I don't do storing stuff purely for sentimental reasons.

Ofalltheginjoints · 28/08/2018 22:11

I have an engagement ring from my ex (he cheated so I ended up keeping it) I took it to a couple of pawn shops but was offered such a small amount for it I couldn’t sell it for that when I know how much it cost/is valued at.

I don’t wear it and have thought about using the stones and having it made into another item but currently my DN uses it as treasure when she is playing!

BestZebbie · 28/08/2018 22:15

I had my ideal engagement ring made, then got divorced. I have kept the ring in a cupboard although this actually means I might as well not have it for 364 days and then it annoys me when I occasionally come across it and don't want to wear it because of the baggage/it seems disrespectful to my husband despite it being expensive and exactly to my taste. On reflection I should probably just give it to the cat's home to auction off or something.

butlerswharf · 28/08/2018 22:16

eBay it!

Twombly · 28/08/2018 22:48

I've sold things in the past, but I still have an old engagement ring. The guy in question turned out to be a bad lot but the ring is just beautiful and I designed it myself, so it still has a lot of aesthetic appeal to me, though no sentimental value at this point, rather the reverse. I asked DH how he would feel if I wore it and he was fine about it in principle, but it would look wrong with my wedding band, seems wrong morally, and also doesn't fit anymore, so I had it resized for my little finger and wear it once in a while for some extra sparkle. At this point (more than 2 decades after the engagement in question was broken), it just feels like a lovely ring I designed for my own pleasure. I could never afford it now!

BloodyDisgrace · 29/08/2018 14:42

I'm rather unsentimental when it comes to keeping what I lovingly would call "old tat". Besides, the blokes in my life knew that I like proper jewellery (gold, precious stones) so either they gave me something like that (which I would keep and wear), or couldn't afford it (and in that case it's no problemo)

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