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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To let DD go to Newcastle on the train to meet a friend

19 replies

Gingerninj · 28/08/2018 19:54

DD who's 13, 14 in a few weeks, has asked if she can to go to Newcastle on the train to meet a friend there, it's about a half hour journey. She's been many times with me before but I'm not sure how she'll cope on her own

OP posts:
PlayingForKittens · 28/08/2018 19:56

She'll be fine at that age (I love near Durham).

SilkeOvesen · 28/08/2018 19:56

Who’s the friend? Do you know them and is it definitely true?

I was doing similar at an even younger age, never any problems, that was before the internet though.

Feefeetrixabelle · 28/08/2018 19:57

Only one way to find out. Let her give it a go if she is usually pretty sensible. Send her off with a well charged phone and ask her to send you a text when she gets there and before she heads back. And explain if you don’t receive those texts she won’t be trusted to go unattended again.

BurritoSquad · 28/08/2018 19:58

I used to spend every weekend at that age on Eldon square green 😆 I lived about an hour on the bus away

Walkerbean16 · 28/08/2018 20:02

at 13 i told my dad i was staying at a friends and vice versa and we actuallly went to London for the day and night on the train (three hour journey) to go to an anti war demonstration. we would have gotten away with it if our faces were not on the front of a national paper the next day!!

anyway.... half an hour on a train is fine!

ApolloandDaphne · 28/08/2018 20:04

Of course she will be fine. If you don't let her do this then how will you know if she can manage? You can't escort her forever. One day you were allowed to travel alone. This is her time.

mindutopia · 28/08/2018 20:12

When I was 14, my mum dropped me off at the airport, I flew to a city 3 hours away (same country, didn’t live in the UK at the time), then got a taxi outside the airport to take me a further 30 minutes to where I was going. I didn’t even fly as an unaccompanied minor (not sure that was even a thing back then!). I was fine. If she’s otherwise mature and responsible, it sounds like she’d be fine. Just have her check in when she gets there and plan to pick her up from the station in her return.

Walkerbean16 · 28/08/2018 20:23

also. i have an app on my s9ns phone called google family which lets me see his location. could you get something similar? to put your mind at rest the first time? (i never use mine as my son doesnt use his phone! sure that will change come secondary school in a week argh!)

w4ytoomuch · 28/08/2018 20:33

Absolutely. Just make sure she really is meeting a friend that you know and not a 'friend' she has made friends with through SM etc

LegallyBrunet · 28/08/2018 20:40

She’ll be fine, I used to the same trip at her age

Original poster
Gingerninj · 28/08/2018 20:48

It's a friend she went to primary with who moved there. I don't have any reason not to believe her

OP posts:
MaryShelley1818 · 28/08/2018 20:52

Ha! I grew up on the ‘Hippy Green’ every weekend too and lived in Washington so a 20ish min bus ride and then a metro!
She’ll be fine :)

whatwouldkeithRichardsdo2 · 28/08/2018 20:54

So this is a friend she hasn't seen in a while? If so, for that reason, I would drop her there.

I know, I'm one of those parents. 🤗

ThistleAmore · 28/08/2018 20:57

I don't think half an hour on a train is a big ask for a teenager (who will, to all intents and purposes, be an adult in four years), but to put your mind at ease, could you ask her to take a 'fun' selfie with her chum at the other end? Not too controlling, but enough of an ask to let her know you're serious and to make yourself feel better?

Feefeetrixabelle · 29/08/2018 19:38

I don’t see why her first message to you to confirm she’s there is a pic of the two of them giving you the thumbs up. Then you know who she is with and you know she’s arrived.

LakieLady · 29/08/2018 19:41

She'll be fine, I know teens who've travelled further than that to school at 11.

SandyY2K · 29/08/2018 19:43

Is friend meeting her at the station? Or the parents?

What's the plan for the day?

Is it a direct train?

Is she arriving/departing at a mainline station or a little isolated one?

Is she coming back before it gets dark?

As you can tell I'm very cautious and safety conscious... I watch a lot of true crime shows.

I'd be asking a few questions before I agreed it.

W0rriedMum · 29/08/2018 19:44

The first time I went on an airplane was when I was 14 and alone. There were no mobiles either.

I remember nothing else apart from the list of directions I was given by my parents!

Fruitbatdancer · 29/08/2018 20:17

Is she really meeting friend? I speak from my own experience that at that age there was always a boy involved and I used every trick in book to hide it from parents. I’m praying I do t get it from my kids Blush

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