Settle an argument between me and DH!

[queenworkerbee]

It's my birthday on Saturday. My plans were family day on Saturday, meal with friend the night before. DH was gonna look after DD3. However friend has recently cancelled which he knew about a few days ago. Today I let him know I will be working Friday which he replied 'sorry forgot to tell you, since you're not any more I'm out with my mates Friday', can you work tomorrow instead??'
FYI, he's not usually selfish. Background - I work part time and extremely flexible - lots from home etc. He works full time plus lots of overtime. DD doesn't sleep. I also do a lot of babysitting for a friend in need (big back story to that one) who has twins. We haven't had a day off together in weeks so was really looking forward to my birthday weekend. He has been working nights so I have been doing all the nights with DD and am knackered.
AIBU to not want DH out drinking the night before my birthday while I'm sat in, alone, doing all the childcare for the 14th night in a row.
He's said he won't go now (after an argument!) but I don't want to be that controlling partner who doesn't let their DP out of the house. I've just told him to go the week after instead.
Fully prepared to be told I'm being a princess I'm just EXHAUSTED from the pressures of work, motherhood, being a supportive friend and life in general. I do suffer from depression so when everything feels overwhelming I know I probably make a massive deal about it when I shouldn't!

I think it's really off for him to be making plans around your birthday weekend - he should definitely have checked first! Even if your original plan fell through, that was your evening to arrange, not his.

I am in my 30s though
DD is excited for my actual birthday, we are having a kids day out for her so I just wanted one bloody night to myself!

I wouldnt be bothered about the birthdaay thing, but if its the 14th night in a row that you have done bedtime alone, and you are exhausted, he should have been more thoughtful. Did he know you are exhausted? Some people can be really obtuse and you have to spell it out for them ahead of time.

5% princess 95% completely not being unreasonable. The 5% is just because your wanting a whole weekend for your birthday when really the main issue is your just exhausted. Birthday or no birthday it’s his turn to take a night shift.

That doesn't matter!! I'm in my 30s too - birthday weekends are still special and you deserve a break

No I'm usually asleep when he gets in. Hes knackered too because he's been working every night for two weeks including weekends (big project coming up). he works all day and sometimes only leaves the office at 10pm at which point I am either up with DD (she just lives off pure energy) or asleep in bed with her. (btw I know he's working when he says he is cause its reflected in his paycheck, every extra hour he gets paid for). The one night he hasn't been working his parents were round so we were entertaining rather than relaxing.
I just need a night of sleep / no cooking and happy to use my birthday as an excuse!

Also I know what his friends are like... If he is out Friday, he will be hungover Saturday and I wanted a birthday lie in