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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

swimming class nightmare

17 replies

purplestrawberry2 · 28/08/2018 19:35

Posting here for traffic really.
5 yo was at session 2 of 3 of a water confidence class - she is really nervous of water. Yesterday she did 1st session and although anxious at first did really well. Today was super excited for it. Then the instructor in the pool let go of her (intentionally, she had floats on) and she panicked. She then spent the rest of the session screaming for me and crying about drowning. instructor indicated for me to leave her and I didnt want her getting more frantic seeing me so I sat at the side encouraging her. she stayed in the water and did some swimming on her back. I was so proud for her sticking with it but also feel so guilty. She seemed so upset about it and although ok has been a bit clingy.

Do I even attempt to take her for her last session tomorrow?

OP posts:
FoxesSitOnBoxes · 28/08/2018 19:37

She stuck with it and seemed ok at the end? I’d take her again tomorrow

Feefeetrixabelle · 28/08/2018 19:41

The more she is in the water not drowning and managing to keep herself afloat the more her confidence will rise in it. She just had a panic that’s all.

Littlebluebird123 · 28/08/2018 19:42

Overcoming fear in the water/of the water is quite a big part of first swimming lessons.

She managed to calm down after her panic and then swam so I'd big that up and definitely take her again.

It's hard when they panic. But it's a life skill so I'd persevere.

OuchLegoHurts · 28/08/2018 19:42

Definitely keep her in the lessons. If you stop now that will probably end up being her last memory of water!

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 28/08/2018 19:42

Take her tomorrow, the instructor was correct to let go she will never learn to be comfortable in water if she is always being held or holding on to someone. She carried on today which is great stopping after today will do nothing to help with her confidence.

MiddleClassProblem · 28/08/2018 19:44

I’d take her if I were you. She’s pushing through it. If you stop now she might think her fear is correct.

CherryPavlova · 28/08/2018 19:44

Take her again. A real disadvantage if children can’t swim properly.
Do you take her regularly? That’s probably more important in building her confidence. Children aren’t naturally fearful of water.

BingerGeer · 28/08/2018 19:50

I’d praise how she was scared but carried on, and emphasise how proud of her you are for being so brave. Do the whole ‘being brave isn’t not being afraid, it’s being afraid and managing to do it anyway’. Emphasise that you trust the instructor to keep her safe.

And extra cuddles - this sort of thing is really hard for some kids, like starting a new job or some other stressful event for adults.

Original poster
purplestrawberry2 · 28/08/2018 19:53

Thanks. I was thinking of taking her again but its a balance of being encouraging whilst not forcing her.
We are going to start taking her to the pool more regularly. she was really upset through the whole session even when she was doing well it was after the session she seemed ok.

OP posts:
Original poster
purplestrawberry2 · 28/08/2018 19:59

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone I know the instructor was right to let her go. I was really impressed with how he dealt with it and kept her in the water. It was just horrible hearing her scream "mummy save me" my head was saying shes safe and sticking with it whilst my heart just wanted to scoop her up and give her a huge cuddle

OP posts:
standbyyourmammaryglands · 28/08/2018 20:00

purple I was a swimming teacher and teacher trainer for over a decade.

The best way to build her confidence is to go and play with family. Find a nice warm pool with large steps she can play on, take a few toys.

When she has a bath let her out some goggles on and look for pennies at the bottom. Practice blowing straws in the bath water and then practice lips in the water blowing bubbles. Practice putting her ears in the water and turn it in to a game - ‘can you hear the fishes??’ Then practice those games at the pool when you take her.

It’s a PITA but if you take her once a month along side her lessons - you will see a dramatic change in her confidence.

What floatation did she have and how many? Could she put her feet down ?

And YES ! Take her back Wink

Whaaaatthe · 28/08/2018 20:02

100% take her back.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 28/08/2018 20:15

Ouch has put it perfectly.

Your DD is a Star for sticking it out.

billybagpuss · 28/08/2018 20:24

Yes yes yes, take her or she will be afraid forever and mammaryglands beat me to it, Take her for fun too! our local pool has massive steps that are brilliant for the kids to play on. Try and take her weekly as a fun thing to do together. When we were kids we always went swimming late on a Saturday afternoon when it was quiet then got chips on the way home and watched either Dr Who (The Tom Baker years I'm very old) or the A team.

And yes turn it into a game, ring a roses tissue a tissue lets blow bubbles. then jump up with a huge splash.

CramptonHodnet · 28/08/2018 20:27

DS used to cry and refuse to get in the water for his swimming lessons, and want to get out once he was in. He had bad panic in the water to begin with but we stuck with the lessons, encouraging him to keep going.

Eventually he got to grips with it and started to look forward to his lessons. Now, at 9, he is a strong confident swimmer who loves going swimming, although he doesn't have lessons any more (we stopped them once he had got to stage 5 and was happy and confident in the water).

Original poster
purplestrawberry2 · 28/08/2018 21:22

Thank you for all the tips everyone. We had struggled to find a nice "fun" pool locally that we could fit around our random work shifts but think we have found one now. I cant tell you how proud I am for her staying in the water today - will take her tomorrow hopefully it will be ok. I think if she gets in the water she will again stick it out

OP posts:
garethsouthgatesmrs · 28/08/2018 21:27

My DD went to a class when she was little. There was another boy there who always seemed to cry. For about 5 or 6 weeks he spent the entire lesson crying while swimming. His poor mum was sat with us all and was so distressed by it but she persevered and after a while he started only crying for a bit and before too long he was absolutely fine and now we see him in the pool doing swimming at a much higher level. Your DD doesnt sound like she was this bad but I think it helps to know that even the most distressed of children come round in the end if you persevere. Keep going and by October half term I bet she loves it

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