to ask if you ever feel jealous of your chldren?

[siennaray]

I'm a regular and have name changed as I know I'm going to get flamed for this but I just need to know if anyone else feels like this.

First of I all I want to say that I love my 3 dc more than anything BUT sometimes when I look at them I just feel so jealous especially with my dd who is 10. When I was her age I had such high hopes and dreams of what my life would be like much like everyone else does I suppose, I worked really hard and got a break into my dream career (modelling) when I was 18. Now I'm not saying I ever would have made it big time but I was doing ok mainly with catalogue work and a couple of tv adverts then I found out I was pg at 24. I quit modelling to have dd and I don't regret it but I always wondered if I could have made it further. Then I had 2 ds's (twins) and my dh left me so I took up temp working which I'm still doing but I have no interest in it and dread going everyday. I'm giving my children every opportunity that I can afford, they go to various out of school clubs and activities, dd has started taking a real interest in drama and wants to go to a performing art school next year when she starts secondary which I will support her in if it is what she really wants but sometimes I feel like she is living my dream life and while I don't resent her for it I get these moments where I am just really jealous of her but I'm also incredibility proud of her and will never tell her how I feel.
Basically I hate the fact that I'm pushing 35 and haven't achieved much apart from my wonderful children. No real career, wasted every opportunity that my parents gave me, my parents are in their 70's and I see them slowly slipping away from me. Ahhhhh I just wish I could start all over again.

I grew up in terrible, terrible circumstances, I was both lucky and made lucky choices and gave my daughter and am still giving my daughter a very privileged life. I feel proud of that, I feel no envy, she will also have to work hard. But I feel proud of what I have done for her and wish her all the happiness in the world.

Opportunities are simoly that, you still need to work at them to succeed.

I don't know what you feel, resentment, bitterness, envy, regret, but you raised happy kids who may go on to be successful. That in itself is an achievement.

If you're unhappy with your life choices, then own that. Don't involve your child or your feelings when you look at your child. Accept what you have achieved and accept what's on you.

I would also say if you were already 24 and only doing minor modelling then you're romantiscing your "could have been" future, it wasn't going to be. You didn't lose anything as nothing was there to be lost.

Pretending otherwise is only kidding yourself and doing you no favours.

Let it go op. 💐

No, I feel really happy that they are able to have everything I wanted and lacked. It's a joy.

I think you should feel grateful that you are envious of your dd. We all want our children to have better lives and more opportunities than we had - and it looks like that's the case. It means you're clearly doing a good job. Once all the kids are a bit older you will get the chance to concentrate on yourself. Sometimes our circumstances mean that we have to take a back seat for a while when we become parents. That's just life. Doesn't mean that you can't make plans and work out what you are going to do when you get the opportunity. Good luck. X

Well, both my children are kind, sweet, caring, clever and generally amazing! DS1 can run faster than me, swim better, kick a ball like Ronaldo (well that might be a bit of an exaggeration) and has a six pack (not a wobbly jelly belly like me!!) DS2 has a truly kind character, thinks of everyone but himself and is a thoroghally decent human being :))

I'm dead jealous of their wonderfulness!! (But in a light hearted way!) and am, more to the point, just incredibly proud to be their Mum (and more and more aware of my own flaws, and the kind of life I have led in comparison to the very innocent, loving life they have and v much deserve)

No I have never felt jealous of my DC. They have had, and are still having, a much better childhood than I had and that makes me feel really happy.

I think FASH is right, you should accept the choices you made and move forward.

I hope your DD can follow her dreams and that you find something that fulfills you.

I am pretty happy with my lot in life, but I still look back and wonder what I would do differently if I had it all to do again. I think it's natural to look at a young person and be a bit envious that they have their whole life ahead of them, choices to make (which could end up good or bad), places to see etc.

However, at 34/35 you still have so much time ahead of you. And you're in the amazing position to have already got 3 lovely DC. Realistically, you've got your whole lifetime again before you're going to be hitting retirement - this time all as an adult. Instead of being sad for what could have been, maybe try to get excited about what could be?

I am very jealous of my son. He eats and sleeps whenever he wants and has people tell him how amazing he is all day. He had not a care in the world. He is only ten months old but still!

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