Dsis and stbx bil are trying to do 50/50 for niece. It's fairly early days (June) and hasn't quite settled into a proper routine just yet, as he's just taken her abroad for a holiday and they've been trying to manage the transition between them. So they've been trying to be flexible, but I wonder if the flexibility is doing more harm than good.
A bit of background. She moved out and he stayed in the family home and wants to keep it on (4 bed house, decent area) as he wants to be able to pass on the family home to niece when she's older. He is self employed. Dsis had been a sahm since niece was born and has done all the childcare (chores and household planning, given an allowance). She has had to find a ft job to support them both. He subsidises her cost of living by paying her rent as she's on a low wage. He has a history of being controlling, but she would say he's a good dad despite this. She feels a lot of guilt for the split, since she developed feelings for someone else (not on the scene now) which he discovered. She had not been happy for a long time before this happened and was already considering leaving but wasn't sure how she would do so as he held all the financial cards.
Niece has hit a really rocky patch, exacerbated by her dad taking her abroad for 3 weeks (this was a source of a lot of conflict between dsis and stbx bil) and I think is finding the transition incredibly hard - several meltdowns at her mum, angry and withdrawn prior to going back to her dad etc. His communication with dsis leaves a lot to be desired. It was ever thus, but when he's in a good mood communication is good, when he's not it's awful. He's a very moody man who I would describe as 'all or nothing' - swings between lovely and difficult. Niece isn't really a 'talker' about her feelings, so it comes out in her behaviour instead. Obviously she loves them both and won't say anything that might hurt one of them. She's 9.
Really just wanted to know when/ if things might improve and ask if anyone else has any experience of 50/50 and how effective it has been. They've said they'll take into account how dniece feels, but my concern is that she's a closed book. It's all so new and recent though my dsis doesn't know when she ca expect to see an improvemen, if at all.