When should DH break it to them ?

[pomlife]

Long story short, we were due to go on our first family holiday in the next month nothing was booked, but much talked about it, planned etc. However we have experienced an unexpected problem getting DSC the necessary travel docs. There is no way they will be back in time for us to travel. So I've suggested we postpone the holiday until Christmas (next school holidays, our holidays from work) and I want DH to suggest if this is an option to his ex before we obviously break the news to DSC. DH is dreading it, as feels he's let DSC down and that his ex might put the breaks on us travelling at Christmas. We are seeing ex and DSC at the weekend, for a family event. AIBU that DH needs to have this conversation before the weekend so we aren't avoiding the topic or flat out lying as deep down we know we can't practically travel in the next month. (Emergency travel docs/express passport not an option - I've tried)

Can you manage to incorporate the holiday without it actually being Christmas? So perhaps fly on 27th or similar? Most parents would be extremely reluctant to allow their child to be away all over Christmas.

Another alternative is to look at having a family holiday as planned next month somewhere you can travel to. Holidays don’t have to be abroad.

@IncrediblySturdyPyjamas makes a good point though.

OP, is a holiday in the country you (all?) reside in an option? Is the point the destination or a family experience? (Not being sarky, just wondering what has been planned/promised.)

Completely agree that a holiday locally would be ideal. However when flights alone will be now $7500 - not including ANYTHING else. And we only get 4 weeks leave a year of which 3 will be allocated for for this trip. I am sure everyone can understand why that option becomes a bit challenging!

Do you think the ex will be annoyed that everything seems to have been left until the last minute?

If it’s been talked about and planned for ages it seems unusual that nothing has been booked already

Would this three week trip at Christmas eat into the exs time with the kids?

It’s better to just let them know as soon as possible. May get a no for Christmas time though, is it over Christmas itself?

Yes it would be over the main festive period. We are hoping that she see the bigger picture re Christmas as she's always had the monopoly and we've just takienbwgat she doesn't want. It's been a complete nightmare re the travel documents, mostly due to her so I'm hoping she'll be lenient due to that.

I would expect a no but hope for a yes then. Best to ask now rather than later get it over and done with.