AIBU to insist my mum keeps my past personal life a secret.
It’s very complicated but; I suffered a horrible experience when I was a teenager which involved our family. I eventually moved away and started a new life.
I have always been deeply ashamed of my past life and kept many things secret as I felt I would be wrongly judged on it.
However my parents never saw it the way I did and didn’t understand my need for privacy.
My mum now spends quite a bit of time visiting me and my fear is she will have no quarms about mentioning things about me to OH family/ neighbours/ friends etc, which would “ let the cat out the bag” and essentially mess up my “lied about” past.
She’s not one to listen to my feels much and says I’m being ridiculous and dramatic but it’s the only way I’ve managed to cope with everything.
I’ve managed to keep her away from anyone so far by making excuses but that’s not possible anymore as she wants to be involved in my new life and LOVES to chat to everyone and thinks I’m just unsociable as I like to keep myself to myself.
I’m constantly on tender hooks of what she might say.
I’ve tried to explain how it would affect me but her attitude is - you should be over it now 😞
The only way I ever seem to get through to her is by totally losing it with her, then I feel awful and she doesn’t speak for weeks. I don’t want to hurt her, just want to know I can trust her to keep my past a secret.