To ask about hen nights?

[sailorcherries]

I know hen nights are a bone of contention for many on MN, especially the ones that get out of hand and the bride starts to demand x, y and z.
My sister is trying to plan my hen night, which is becoming increasingly difficult as I keep vetoing her ideas with no real idea of what I want. I want to go away for a weekend but couldn't stand my own DM or DMil for a weekend and definitely don't want guests spending a large amount of money (and a weekend away even somewhere basic would be £150-£200+ once food and accommodation is added up).

What are the best hen nights you have been on?

My MoH planned mine, so not sure of the cost but we did a themed dance class (ours was Chicago), then for a meal at Carluccio's, then cocktail making class at a club, then a reserved booth at my favourite bar. There was something for everyone and a few girls didn't do the dancing, but joined us for the meal onwards.

I also had an afternoon tea including DH's older female relatives (and his cousin's 12 year old daughter) who I get on with, but the "proper hen do" definitely isn't their thing.

Do what you want. Go all out for a weekend in fancy hotel or have a nice get together at home with bbq and drinks with your loved and closest ones. Who cares!

I’ve been to 3 and they were all different but all fun!

One I was a relative it was my future cousin in law so I only knew my mum, her FMIL (my auntie) and my sister who was 17 at the time. This one we had cocktails in one of her bridesmaids flat with nibbles and sweeties. My mum and I made cocktails so we didn’t feel awkward with all her friends we didn’t know. (Bit I didn’t like was buff waiters especially as I was with my mum and auntie and just in general not for me). Then we had an amazing time at a cabaret dinner show which was cool then the bar/club next door where they had booked a booth for drinks. We had to sneak my sister in ha!

The next ones I went to I was a bridesmaid for both. The first one was a Beyoncé dance class, then getting ready to go out, a cocktail class, dinner and then a boogie bus and a cheesy 80s/90s club. She asked for trashy and we delivered 😂 there was about 15 of us.

Last one (which I think will be most similar to mine next year/2020) was we booked a big massive farm house out in the country. We had an afternoon tea where everyone baked or brought something. Then we had a flower crown making workshop, which was really cool. We then had dinner which was a murder mystery which we all dressed up for - Alice in wonderland style. After that we played silly quiz games and drank and danced in a barn. There was about 15ish of us again for this one.

In the last 2 the mums (mil and her mum) hung out until the hard drinking dancing started.

I can’t really remember what I paid but they’re my best friends so I didn’t mind. Also it was fun so that’s worth the money to me.

However have to say it doesn’t sound like you particularly want one. So if I were you I would tell my sister that and she would understand especially if she knows what type of fun you enjoy.

I organised my sister in laws for her - we went to a local hotel as it was near Christmas and booked a table for 3 course meal, live band and disco, cost £40 each. We all did "secret Santa" and had a great night - tickets were about £45 then just bought drinks

Had a brilliant night and every year since we 1st went - we all go for an annual night out to the same place, me, sil, her Mum, my mum, a couple of aunts and afew close friends it's fab - we look forward to it.

Job done!!!

Nothing tacky, too expensive or putting people in a position where taking 5 days annual leave to spend a long weekend somewhere puts them in an awkward position if they can't afford it

You need to tell your sister you wont be there. Seriously, it sounds like a nightmare. I didn’t have one as im not a hen night person

Just grow some balls and say no.

Just don't have one! Why would you?

Just say you’d rather not. I did various nice bits with bridesmaids in the run-up but of my 3, one was my sister who has small kids (was still breastfeeding at the time), one was dealing with serious family illness and the other was recovering from a long stint in hospital after major injury. Add to that none of us are particularly ‘going out’ people and it just seemed more hassle than it was worth. I had a massage with the 2 who could make it, had a nice lunch with the other, and we spent lots of time in my house drinking coffee and making decorations/playlists/doing the alterations on my dress.

The best one I’ve been to was a ‘crafternoon tea’ at Debbie Bryan’s in Nottingham - afternoon tea and a v relaxed class to make a purse using gorgeous bits of vintage Nottingham lace. Then out for nice dinner and bubbles after, then home to loaf about and drink prosecco in our pyjamas at the bride’s house.

Understand your concerns. Mine was brilliant. In London (home at the time), 7 of my favourite girls, early brunch/games/drinking at a maid of honours place, then into town for fancy afternoon tea, followed by karaoke all night and dodgy burgers on the way home at 3am. It wasn't a weekend away, but i loved it. Also was great to be hungover at home!

I stipulated i didn't want people to spend a fortune as they were already spending money to get to our wedding outside of London. I honestly loved it. Cheap and cheerful is probably my motto in life though and might not be everyone's cup of tea.

I've been to much more extravagant ones for weekends away but found it got a bit too much after about noon on the Saturday, larger parties became quite cliquey and they were expensive. But each to their own.

Whoops sorry just read you hate karaoke! Sorry. Just do something for yourself and bm, or that spa weekend on your own sounds amazing!

Spa afternoon answer a few drinks with BF and sister

Afternoon tea with everyone else

Easy

House hen party:

They’d hired a hot tub
External food from local catering company
Belly dancing lessons in the garden
Photo booth
Games and drinks
All in, inc food and drink, £40 each hen.

One of the best hen parties. So relaxed and everyone had a laugh in the comfort of someone’s home.

Also been to one at Carden Park spa and golf course. The Bm’s had arranged for day activities on Saturday (chocolate making, archery), then some spa stuff / relaxing, then games in the room, then meal. Following morning was breakfast and spa treatments, lunch and leave. So we were only there 24 hours www.cardenpark.co.uk/play/