To feel like i don't fit in anymore

[Mondaymorningmood]

I'm 18 and have a 1 year old daughter. Most my friends are off to uni in September and i just don't hear from them much anymore. I see some of them sometimes but when they all get together they usually go on a night out and I don't want to keep leaving my daughter with my parents. So we've drifted apart quite a bit because of this. I've only really spoken to my family lately. The only other mums i know are a lot older than me, I've been to a mother and toddler group, everyone was polite there but i did feel a bit excluded and different with being so much younger

I understand how you feel. I'm 22 with a 7 month old and all my friends from uni and work are same age but without kids. I've just slowly been uninvited to things, although I never had much of an interest in getting drunk every weekend anyway. Even my friends with kids who are in their 30s can't be bothered making plans with me! I haven't been to any baby groups as I'm nervous to go alone and from my experience of antenatal classes before my daughter arrived, the other mums who were all older barely spoke to me and pretty much blanked me.

No advice but just wanted to let you know you're not alone, it's crappy

I think that happens no matter what age. I had ds and lost touch with my friends because they were all absorbed in their careers and weren’t interested in having a baby in tow.
You adapt. You meet other people who are at the same family stage as you. Taking your Lo to the park or to nursery is a good place to start. If you are into fitness try aqua babes or similar.
You may find in a couple of years some of your school friends have babies and drift back because you are the one with the experience and the answers. So don’t lose touch completely.

I also think this comes with the parenthood territory for many people, regardless of age. It’s so much harder making friends when you have dcs IME. I never imagined it would be like that, but I just don’t click with that many other parents and everyone (including me) is so busy and distracted because they have children to look after!

It’s so great you have parents who are helping out though op. I haven’t even got that (yes I know, where the violin etc ). But anywho, yanbu. It’s very hard and I imagine it’s even harder at such a young age when everyone isn’t busting their balls at work as my friends were when I had dc1, but out getting degrees and probably having a lot of carefree fun in the process! I sympathise with you.

This does happen I'm afraid. Actually, young mothers do a lot of growing up very quickly and university students don't so you will inevitably drift apart. The important thing to remember is that you will have life opportunities at differnt times from them. You have stepped up to the responsibility and don't want to leave your daughter too often. She is still a baby and her needs will change and you will have opportunities for further education if you want or other career development. Mother and baby groups are good but as you say if the other mothers are older it is not so easy, but you may be surprised and find some friends once you get to know some of them. Being a young parent is not easy, but so much more rewarding than nights out and wondering where you are going in life. Do you have any sports or hobbies that would help you meet new people? Do you have a good health visitor? She may be able to put you in touch with other young mums, or groups