Wedding Anniversary

[SugarfreeMe]

AIBU

It's our wedding anniversary today, we've been going through some really tough times, not with each other but life keeps kicking.
Hubby isn't feeling well & he's my main carer as I'm bedbound.
I asked him if he could come through so I could say happy Anniversary & give him his card (I'm giving him money for something he wants for his present)
He came through stood about 6ft from the bed, Dd started shouting because there was a spider, he threw the present he got me on the bed without saying anything picked up his card & said he hadn't bothered this year & walked out to deal with her.
He's usually really thoughtful and romantic.
When he came back be stood in the doorway & asked if I already had it, I told him I hadn't opened it as I wanted him to be there when I did & he begrudgingly stood while I opened it.
I'm really upset! It's like he just couldn't be bothered! I know he's not feeling well but it really hurt & if I try to talk to him he will just tell me I'm being stupid.
AIBU to feel upset?

YANBU but I don't really reallly have any advice beyond that... didn't want to read and run
Bumping for you

YANBU to be upset but if he’s usually thoughtful and romantic I would assume he was just stressed and in a bad mood - not great, but something we all do sometimes!

It’s hard to be thoughtful and romantic when all your energy is going into being someone’s career. Reassure yourself that if he didn’t love you he wouldn’t care for you and focus on helping each other through this Illness

Thanks for taking time to reply.
We are under a ridiculous amount of stress at the moment to be honest, he's been really withdrawn for a few weeks, I guess I was hoping that we would reconnect today, it didn't happen.
He's been my main carer for 7 years, not an easy thing for a career man to give up work, to rely on benefits which are super tough to get by on & then crazy stuff going on in our lives.
I was just really surprised that he just tossed the box on the bed and walked out like I was an inconvenience. 3 months ago we were closer than ever, at the moment it's like I'm married to a stranger.

Without knowing the cause of the stresses you're going through at the moment, do you think he's hit a wall?
Can you arrange some respite care so he can have a break and regroup a bit?

He does desperately need a break, unfortunately we don't have any family, his Dad who was a huge part of our lives lost his battle to Cancer earlier this year, & we lost his mum a couple of years before that, both were quite young.
We had to cut off contact with my family around the same time because they did something awful, they never helped us anyway, so really it's just us, (his sister helps a little but has major health problems herself.)
I have carers come in, in the day to try & give him a break but all of our children have additional needs, so it's pretty hard for him to truly get a break & he has to be here evening and nighttime,
I was talking with a good friend about it, hoping she would offer to come and stay but she didn't & to be honest I have no idea where he could go as we don't have any spare money.

I feel like I'm moaning & I really don't mean to! Sorry!
I would love for him to have a much needed & deserved break, we just can't see how.

I don't have any sensible advice but it sounds like a really hard situation for you all. 💐

Yanbu to feel disappointed but it seems like you all are under a huge amount of stress. He lost his dad as well so he may be feeling like it's all up to him now. Maybe have a calm discussion with him in a few days and ask him honestly how he feels.