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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To play cf neighbours at their own game

210 replies

Raspberryberetthekindyoufind · 27/08/2018 12:10

Nest door moved in about a year ago, an older couple and asked DH very nicely if he would mind mowing their lawn when he does ours as they really struggle. DH agreed and said no problem at all
Anyway fast forward to now DH has a bad back and has done for three weeks so our grass and their grass has got really long. I have physical disability so can’t do it myself.
I told neighbours when he did his back in and said hopefully he would be able to do it in a few weeks. The women seemed really put out but but I put it down to catching her at a bad moment.
Three weeks on DH is getting better but wants to leave the mowing for another week until he is properly better
Knock on the door last night and it was the man next door demanding to know when he lawn would be cut, I explained it would hopefully be in a week or so and he stormed off.
This morning I was in the garden and so were next door and she said loudly to her husband that we should pay for someone to do both lawns as they look awful and it’s down to us to sort them. Just then their son who is in his thirty’s arrives with his wife and son and comes in the back garden.
I pop my head over and say “Hi, can I ask you a favour since both lawns are looking awful and DH is laid up with his back could you give both of them a run over for us. Especially as DH has done your parents lawn for over a year, Thankyou soooooo much. I then went back inside with them stareing at me open mouthed.
The son is now mowing our lawn Grin

OP posts:
JS06 · 28/08/2018 17:38

Way to go Raspberry, you're my woman of the week!

Glad the next door's son has been to see you and hear what's been going on.

Best wishes to your husband for his ongoing recovery. x

BeckyBec · 28/08/2018 17:39

Very quick thinking but where does this leave you now? Neighbours can be so valuable and potentially any future relationship is ruined. The end result could have been different if you'd have been able to talk to them about how you feel. Your life, your choice but there are always options.

Chocolate50 · 28/08/2018 17:45

some people,,, what a cheek! goes to show people of all ages take the piss don't they x

Smudge100 · 28/08/2018 17:47

What outrageously rude and entitled people. I normally go out of my way not to upset neighbours but i wouldn't be mowing their lawn again!

CheeseAndOnionIceCream · 28/08/2018 17:58

Nice one!

figelnarage · 28/08/2018 18:00

Hahahah, CRAZY CFs!

throwawayagain · 28/08/2018 18:13

They are bonkers.

You should inform them that you have a relative who will be taking up your defense as they are a 'private gardens and general odd jobs' solicitor.

Make sure they see you taking pictures of the lawns with 'Daily Mail sad faces'.

PandaPieForTea · 28/08/2018 18:30

Ah the magical phrase with which all untrue stories on MN are touched. If you genuinely knew someone suffering dementia and how they really struggle with life then the phrase wouldn't be bandied about half as much.

On the other hand, seeing someone get a diagnosis of dementia can put context into the preceding years. People don’t usually suddenly ‘get dementia’. And earlier diagnosis would really help in recognising that CF behaviour in some cases is related to dementia.

CountessWindyBottom · 28/08/2018 18:37

Absolutely brilliant move OP! They were being rude, presumptuous, ill mannered CFs at that so good work! Grin

SingingSands · 28/08/2018 18:41

Standing ovation from me OP!
👏🏼

manicmij · 28/08/2018 18:43

Well Done! Bit of a cheek expecting tgeir lawn to be done when DH incapacitated. What do they do if you are away on holiday? No wonder old people get a miserly reputation. Why couldn't they have sorted out and paid for a gardener. YANBU.

Lynne1Cat · 28/08/2018 18:44

The cheeky sods. Why couldn't their son have done their grass all along? I'm glad he's doing yours this time too

chocolateworshipper · 28/08/2018 18:44

You just became my hero OP

OctaviaOctober · 28/08/2018 18:55

I can believe it. One of my neighbours is ignoring me because I wouldn't lend her my laptop "for a few days" because she had used up the monthly data on her phone. All my information is stored on the laptop and it was only the second time she'd ever spoken to me (first time was to ask if she could borrow something too). When I said no, she slammed my door shut and stormed off. Actually, I'm ignoring her too!

IDontHaveTimeForFoolishness · 28/08/2018 18:57

Well done! What utter cheek, considering their son comes over and could mow the lawn for them. I say keep it simple from now on and now your own and them theirs. They seem to have grown accoustomed to your help and from this seems to take it for granted. Xx

Omzlas · 28/08/2018 19:01

OP, I want to marry you FlowersStar

HollowTalk · 28/08/2018 19:02

@OctaviaOctober, how would using your laptop mean she had more data? She was going to use it but still be connected to your wifi?

Tistheseason17 · 28/08/2018 19:02

Good outcome with the chat to the son.
Sad if they have the early signs of dementia - which can include this type of anger.

Stay in touch with the son - this will make your life easier. ATB

CoraMulberry · 28/08/2018 19:03

Becky
Are you wearing loose fitting trousers and Birkenstocks by any chance? Grin

Strokethefurrywall · 28/08/2018 19:07

Becky what options would those be?

Other than the very sensible and straightforward response of the OP? Should she have groveled? Apologized to them that her husband hadn't mown their lawn due to his own back injury?

What OP did is exactly what every person suffering with a CF in their life should do.
It's not up to OP to salvage or maintain a neighborly relationship with such cheeky fucks. And anyone that does is a total mug.

HavelockVetinari · 28/08/2018 19:11

Ah, OP you are my hero! I'm often aghast at how many lovely MNers let CFs walk all over them, it's so pleasing to find a thread that sorts them out good and proper within a few pages! GrinFlowersGin

HeckyPeck · 28/08/2018 19:15

When I said no, she slammed my door shut and stormed off. Actually, I'm ignoring her too!

🤣🤣 what a bellend!!

HeckyPeck · 28/08/2018 19:15

The neighbour not you of course!

OctaviaOctober · 28/08/2018 19:31

@HollowTalk We didn't get as far as discussing how it would work, but I assume so... Not even my DCs get to use my laptop. I would have been less horrified if she'd asked to borrow one of them.

MatildaTheCat · 28/08/2018 19:35

My FIL had the loveliest possible neighbours who looked out for him for years. Then he started to struggle and he kept asking them to do more stuff for him (unnecessary since we all live nearby) and then get annoyed by them and even accused them of letting their builders steal tools from his garage.

It was awful and naturally they began to avoid him and get really stressed. He’s now in a home and making a nuisance of himself to the staff there.

He just lost his sense of boundaries which may we’ll be the case here. Keep in contact with the son and let him know what happens if they return. It’s a funny thread but actually it was very sad and stressful for all of us when DFIL became the CFN.

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