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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Trying to be there for a friend

1 reply

Kirtsy54 · 27/08/2018 12:04

I have a friend who is going through a bad time with their partner. I always try to be there when they want to hang out. They have even said that spending time with me makes everything ok.

I want to be there and I understand they have a tricky home life. Over time things have got on top of me. I mentioned I wanted to have a chat to clear up my doubts over our friendship. They promise to spend time but it never materialised.

I sent a message to say how I felt - that sometimes I feel I'm just a convenience for them. They then replied saying sorry I felt that, we shouldn't be friends. It seemed drastic and hurtful.

Rather than discussing the situation. Now I have apologised for ever saying anything and feel like shit. I know they have a lot to deal with at home and certainly don't want to be a burden but feel taken for granted at times. I don't feel it's a huge issue and could be cleared up with a quick chat. Maybe with the unpleasant things that go on at home they no longer have the confidence to deal with issues. Maybe they just dont have time or energy.

Should I just dismiss my worries and continue to be there when they need me or am I being used? Anyone been in a similar situation?

OP posts:
uncomfortablydumb53 · 28/08/2018 12:10

A true friend should never make YOU feel like a burden or indeed drain you
IMO, you should not feel you have to apologise for YOUR behaviour, I feel she is using you as a prop when you already have a busy life
I would gently disengage
She has not taken your views on board
Friendship should lift you up, not bring you down
Good luck

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