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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to have reported this?

31 replies

thinkingofthechildren · 27/08/2018 10:21

This could probably out me so I have N/C but have been around for a while (naice ham, penis beaker, cancel the cheque, etc, etc).. I am going to leave out as many identifying details as possible but will try and give a decent idea of the situation.

Someone I know (we used to be very close but fell out a year or so ago but we still have mutual friends, and I am close to her ex-p) has been in an abusive relationship and as a result social services are now involved. She has two DC under the age of six and has been told that she needs to make changes or it's likely she will lose them. She has some pretty severe mental health issues and also drinks/takes drugs. She has had a tough life and I am not condemning her for the things she does/has done but I genuinely believe that (right now, at least) those children would be better off being cared for by someone else. She refuses to engage with social services though, or do anything that's asked of her - the main thing being to cut contact with the abusive partner which definitely hasn't happened as she and her DC are still living with him (although they are trying to pretend that this is not the case). There's a lot more to it but I don't want to say too much.

So, social services are obviously now looking at removing the DC from her care and she has decided that the way to deal with this is to try and leave the country. A mutual friend sent me screenshots of messages in a total panic last night which showed that she is clearly trying to make plans to run away with her children and the abusive partner, to stop social services 'stealing' them. Her ex-p (father of the children) has also sent me messages saying that she has told him that they would all be better off dead, that sort of thing. AIBU to have called 101 and told them what I know? If I thought there was any other way to resolve things then I wouldn't have done it but I am scared for those poor DC who must just want a stable and loving home and are just being neglected and treated badly.

OP posts:
uncomfortablydumb53 · 28/08/2018 12:15

You have done exactly the right thing
The children need stability and love
She's blown her chances that SS do not remove children quickly Lightly and without hard evidence
This has to stand up in court
Absolute madness to run away with the DC's and very sad to put the DC's in this position too

uncomfortablydumb53 · 28/08/2018 12:16

Random " that" in there sorry!

thinkingofthechildren · 28/08/2018 22:58

Update - I spoke to the social worker involved with the case today and she must have contacted ex-friend because there are now posts all over Facebook referring to 'revenge'.. I know I did the right thing but I could really do without any drama. I feel that may be wishful thinking though! I realise that sounds really selfish, but I have a child with some pretty serious health issues, and now I'm worried that I'm going to have to deal with some sort of revenge campaign too. Obviously I am still glad that I reported this, for those kids, just a bit worried now too.

OP posts:
BlueSuffragette · 28/08/2018 23:40

You did the right thing. Screen shot any posts about revenge and contact the police.

HelloToYou · 28/08/2018 23:46

You did the right thing.

Good lord, is there no grandparents involved in this sorry affair at all?

What a mess!

The appropriate people know what is happening, I'd take a step back now if I was you and steer clear of them. There really isn't anything else you can do sadly.

Grilledaubergines · 28/08/2018 23:51

She won’t know it was you who reported her, and you may not have been the only one who did.

Either way, you did the right thing.

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