Husband not sympathetic?

[MilkTrayLimeBarrel]

I have unfortunately suffered a number of minor illnesses during this spring and summer and am feeling quite drained now that autumn is approaching! I have said how exhausted I feel a couple of times and get absolutely no response from DH! When I asked him why he doesn't respond, he said that he didn't know what to say! We haven't had a proper holiday this year (apart from a mini City break) and won't be able to fit one in before the end of the year. AIBU to expect a bit more kindness and sympathy or an I just a whinger??

Actually I speak online exactly as I do in real life!

I sympathise OP. In my family the slightest twinge of pain will get you bucket loads of sympathy, a minor cold is treated like pneumonia by my mum and she makes me chicken soup etc, but DH is of the 'just get on with it' school. He knows I like sympathy so he's getting better at offering it.

If you feel like a hug then ask for a hug? Dont just keep whinging and hoping he will read your mind

What is it that's exhausting you? Work/childcare/general life? And like pp asked what have you done so far for change and/or self care?

I moan quite a bit tbh about ongoing pain and I'm sure I bore DH a lot. Sometimes he will just give me a sympathetic look and sometimes he will ask if there's anything I need for eg a cup of tea or a water bottle etc.

I don't think you are BU if I'm honest

I never mind if dh says 'I'm exhausted, I'm going to take a nap' or I'm exhausted, could you take ds to school' but if he just looks at me and sighs saying 'I'm exhausted' I get a little frustrated, like I'm expected to do something about his exhaustion when really, only he can....

Explain to him you would like him to be more caring toward you - check in with how your day is going and can he help- like a team

Well that works both ways. When was the last time the OP did the same for her DH?

Can OP not get sympathy from her DH? Don't we all come in from work sometimes and moan that we've had a crap day?

Always the same ones who bash the OP on threads where their Hs haven't come back all night and don't even bother to let them know where they are...

Actually, I do ask DH about his day, every day. However, I have taken some of these replies to heart and will try not to complain about my aches and pains so much. I think the various things I have had wrong with me have just knocked the stuffing out of me and they just seemed to be ongoing over the glorious summer! Seen Doctors, get lots of fresh air, eat well, etc.

I think much depends on how much you complain

If it's rare mostly people do respond. But if it's continual, even if you don't realise you're doing it, it can mean it gets a bit much.

So for example getting minorly ill, minorly ill, recovering, getting minorly ill again, constantantly commenting throughout, oh I'm exhausted, rinse and repeat, it becomes a bit exhausting for thr other person too and with the best will in the world it starts to get grating. You just kind of want them to stfu and get on with it and if it's been all summer it's probably got to that stage with your husband.

There is also an element of if you keep responding with sympathy it just eggs thr whinger on and they amplify their whinging for more attention. So best to try to say nothing.