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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU - Son's birthday

5 replies

Chipsandgravy89 · 27/08/2018 09:36

Just looking for a reality check really..

My son is 2 next month and so we are having a party for him on the Saturday (his birthday is the following Tuesday)

I don't live in the same town as my family, so the Saturday is the only way my family and friends can come and celebrate with us.

It's going to be a small gathering, mainly so all of the kids can play together just some nibbly food.

Anyway, I sent a group message to everyone to give times and stuff, and get a text back from MIL saying that she won't be able to come because she will still on holiday on that day and that was it. I thought, well okay that makes sense and thought no more of it.

She then came round last night and was making sly comments about "being involved", asking why not the Sunday (OH plays cricket and we enjoy going as a family, and no-one was free that day) and started saying that she will celebrate with us on her own on Monday (but not in a nice way, like most normal people, if that makes sense?). My parents were staying and she kept pointing out to them about how my LO says her name loads and just really bizarre, almost territorial behaviour.

I don't think I have done anything wrong, it's normal to celebrate on the closest weekend and everyone is free on that day and it's about the children anyway but she is implying that I have left her out and stuff and is making me feel bad. She can be quite manipulative at times if she can't have her own way.

I feel a bit like... well, YOU were the one who booked a holiday away over that weekend? But I can't say that because OH hates confrontation.

Also, the even weirder thing is that since he was born she had almost bullied me with wanting to have him overnight and last weekend was our friends wedding so I offered for her to have him (as she has been so desperate) And then the day before she said she couldn't have him afterall because she was going to a beer festival and my sister had to drive from my hometown to where I live to come and have him for me.

The next day she cooked Sunday lunch, but obviously I had to drive back to my hometown to get my son (because she didn't have him... ) and when I got to her house she said they had already eaten because I took too long and my tea was in the microwave.

She turns it around as though I am the one who is in the wrong? It's so odd!

Help!

OP posts:
JustJoinedRightNow · 27/08/2018 09:40

Gosh, you are definitely not BU! I don’t know what else to say! She sounds hard work.

Petalflowers · 27/08/2018 09:45

Perfectly normal,to,have a party at the weekend and a second celebration on the dcs actual birthday.

noeyedeer · 27/08/2018 09:45

Just ignore her. Reiterate that the party is on Saturday, and if she wants to see DGS (and it fits with your plans) an hour on Monday would be lovely.

As for cancelling and going to a beer festival instead, just don't make any plans for her to have DS again if her cancelling would cause you problems. Don't rely on her.

Singlenotsingle · 27/08/2018 09:48

You've arranged it, she's invited and if she can't make it that's her lookout. Tough. He'll have another birthday next year.

Chipsandgravy89 · 27/08/2018 09:56

Thanks Ladies! Honest and helpful as always :)

You know when someone makes you feel like you've done something wrong and it plays on your mind... I feel better now!

OP posts:
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