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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be Peeved off at Brownies

67 replies

christywhisty · 05/06/2007 20:20

Long story but daughter has ended up being a brownie and a cub. Cubs are fine with the idea but brownies are really not happy. They have made several comments to her about it but have not said anything to me,although I have been in touch with GG head office and they say there are no rules against being both

They are both church packs but DD went with brownies to church parade on sunday. She wore full brownie uniform but also had her friendship scarf (special scarf to celebrate 100 years of scouting).
Tonight she has come home upset because she was told off for wearing scarf at church parade as it "is not uniform"
Just think they are being so petty over it all
I am really peeved off because she nearly always goes to church parade when lots of others never turn up.
She can go as a cub in the future.

OP posts:
Original poster
christywhisty · 05/06/2007 20:25

Apparently her hair was messy as well!

OP posts:
heifer · 05/06/2007 20:31

sounds to me you either need to change brownie groups or just go to cubs...

I certainly don't understand why they are making a fuss, as you say at least she turned up!

MaureenMLove · 05/06/2007 20:32

Maybe they were trying to make the point that she was a Brownie that day, not a cub. I hope they didn't tell her off in front of everyone. And the hair! Whats that about? Like you said, in this day and age, they should be grateful she turned up at all.

WK007 · 05/06/2007 20:34

Deffo change Brownie packs - in mine we don't allow tamagotchis or other piss-you-off toys but just about anything else goes!

Cheekylittlemadam · 06/06/2007 09:32

It's not like modern Brownie uniform is anywhere near strict as it used to be. I do think it wasn't too much to ask for a little bit of conformity to the uniform, that's what it's there for.

bookwormmum · 06/06/2007 09:39

I didn't go to Brownies as I was in Girls Brigade but my GB captain would have had any non-uniform items off you (bar shoes) for the duration of the parade. If it's not part of the Brownie uniform then perhaps she shouldn't have worn it.

Would you send her in Brownie uniform to a Cub event?

FluffyMummy123 · 06/06/2007 09:40

Message withdrawn

kslatts · 06/06/2007 10:17

I think you are being unreasonable about the scarf, as it is not part of her uniform then I don't think she should wear it to church parade. I think they were being petty about her hair though.

Original poster
christywhisty · 06/06/2007 10:58

Cubs would have been fine if she was wearing her brownie sash.It was not just a brownie event. Both cubs and brownies were there, so the scarf was a nod to the fact, that she was representing both, although she stood with the brownies.

For St Georges parade which is a cub event, she had not been enrolled and they told her to wear her brownie uniform.

They have lost out in the end because all future church parades she will attend as a cub.

OP posts:
Cheekylittlemadam · 06/06/2007 11:05

I'm sure they'll feel the loss. Sorry, but it just comes across as being all precious and 'I'm special because I got to both groups', and that's not the point. You don't wear a uniform to draw attention to yourself and how terribly cosmo you are.

bookwormmum · 06/06/2007 13:02

Personally I feel sorry that little boys can't keep cubs/scouts to themselves without little girls muscling in on the action when they've got their own clubs to join.

I wouldn't allow my daughter to join cubs or scouts even if I had to drive her miles to find a Brownie pack. Boys and girls need time to play or work without the opposite gender sometimes.

FluffyMummy123 · 06/06/2007 13:04

Message withdrawn

hana · 06/06/2007 13:04

disagree bookworm, in some areas there aren't enmough girls or enough boys to offer both

MamaG · 06/06/2007 13:06

i agree with bookworm

MamaG · 06/06/2007 13:06

...unless wot hana sed

Zog · 06/06/2007 13:08

bookwormmum, really? I'm quite at that. What if you had a tomboyish daughter?

MamaG · 06/06/2007 13:10

My DD ahs boy and girl mates and plays different games with both

she'll do the mums & babies thing with the girls

she'll do the power rangers thing with the boys

i like having her go to Brownies so she DOES play with girls only. they don't sit about and paint their nails y'know! They were gardening for the old folks home last week

Speccy · 06/06/2007 13:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bookwormmum · 06/06/2007 13:13

Where I live there are waiting lists for Brownie packs - you have to put them down when they begin Rainbows so they get near the top of the list by the time they're 7 - so I'm guessing that it's the same for Beavers/Cubs. It seems a tad me me me for a child to take up two places in similar organisations then moan about the rules of one of them.

Zog · 06/06/2007 13:13

Surely we've got past the whole "this is what boys do, this is what girls do" thing now though? What about equality?

Speccy · 06/06/2007 13:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MamaG · 06/06/2007 13:16

Zog - My DD does everything at school atht eh boys do. yes, we have got past it.

its NICE that she goes to Brownies wiht girls. Its a differnt atmosphere and she relaly enjoys it, I think a having boys thre would change it a lot.

I also have a DS and would like him to go to cubs - without girls.

FGS I'm all for equality but what is WRONG with just having girls at Brownies/boys at cubs?

bookwormmum · 06/06/2007 13:19

Zog - she gets her hoydenish element out of her in her ballet class . They still do what I used to do in the same building - see how many steps they can jump off before one of them loses their nerve/breaks a limb/makes too much noise for the teachers to ignore. Seriously she does lots of 'boyish' things as well like football class. From witnessing her in Rainbows, they don't just sit around embroidering pink samplers or making fairy cakes. I just feel as she mixes with boys at school, it's good for her to have some time with just girls.

A bit like the research that suggests mixed-gender schools are good for boys (as the presence of girls tend to calm down the whole environment) but single-gender schools are best for girls as they don't get pushed out by the boys.

CristinaTheAstonishing · 06/06/2007 13:19

My son goes to a Woodcraft Folk group. The fact that boys & girls mix together was one of its attraction (plus the non-religious aspect). Uniform (a green T-shirt with a badge) is optional.

I think I'd agree with not mixing uniforms if they are so fussy about it. They sound dreadful anyway.

HonoriaGlossop · 06/06/2007 13:26

Having cubs for boys and brownies for girls does not necessarily mean that anyone is experiencing inequality though Zog. It COULD do of course, but not inherently.

I agree with those who feel that there is something worth preserving in having cubs for boys, brownies for girls. I'm sure there are other community groups for both sexes if that's an issue for people.

And in answer to the OP I do think YABU....she shouldn't have worn the cub scarf in the parade, as others have said. I don't think you can argue with them there.

Sounds like you may need to bin the brownies and just send her to cubs.