To not top up the leaving collection?!

[noleavinggift]

Long story short- woman leaving my team in two weeks through voluntary redundancy. She's worked with us for about 18 months.

I manage her line manager who also manages the other four people in the team.

The VR comes after on-off informal capability process and numerous spats with one colleague in particular over her laziness and lack of initiative. The whole team know she doesn't pull her weight and are privately counting down the days until she leaves please don't think senior managers don't know what's being whispered about!

Whilst they are pleasant enough to their colleague day-to-day they have all chosen not to put in the voluntary fiver for a leaving gift- normally vouchers.

WIBU to give the departing colleague a £10 voucher (mine and line managers contribution)- the alternative is I chip in £25!

(Before anyone says speak to HR, we are the HR department and this isn't an HR issue!)

Definitely don't top up. It's not your fault nobody put anything in and it's a bit much of she does expect a fancy gift after only a short time in the job and not being good at it.

I'd get some flowers and a card and leave it at that.

We did have loads of these at work (80+ people so there was always someone leaving, having a baby, getting married etc). I gave generously for people I'd worked closely with, enjoyed working with, felt they contributed a lot, but others I just didn't bother.

Sounds like bullying, that her colleagues all agreed not to chip in. And you’re seemingly ok with it? Mean.

It might be mean, or it might be reflective of how much money people have/what they think of her, but it is not bullying.

Why should someone who hasn't worked that hard or been a good team member get a gift?
I wouldn't bother with anything at all!

A member of my staff is leaving. One person has contributed to a gift. One. Ffs

How about vegan alcohol free bubbly? It does exist, this is nice and is £4.99 - wisebartender.co.uk/bees-knees-sparkling-brut-0-abv-147-p.asp

Plus either vegan chocolates (£6) -www.hotelchocolat.com/uk/100-chocolate-gianduja-hazelnuts.html#srule=price-low&sz=24&start=22

Looks like a bit of effort has gone in and isn’t immediately obvious it was only £10 worth of stuff.

It’s 5 each so 2 people

I was about to suggest yumbles but se someone has beaten me to it.

Lots of choices if any other dietary requirements - I ordered some for close family member who is allergic to nuts and milk and doesn't like white chocolate. I actually had a choice still. Amazing.

Oh and this is definitely not bullying. It's reaping what you sow.

It might be mean, or it might be reflective of how much money people have/what they think of her, but it is not bullying

Depends how it was done. If an envelope went round, and everyone chose coincidentally and anonymously, not to put anything in, then yes, that wouldn’t be bullying. But if they all got together & decided between them to get her nothing then that would be bullying.

AJPTaylor see that's my point, regardless of one person being nicer than the other being the reason, it really doesn't matter. It's either the same for all or not at all. You haven't said if the woman who complained contributes to others' collections? I can understand if she does why she might feel aggrieved to not get the same back in return. Fact is collections in the workplace even when coming with the best of intents lead to ill-feeling. It's problematic both among contributors some of whom don't want or can't afford to contribute and among recipients who perceive favoritism or even actual exclusion in the amount collections raise for others when they don't get the same.

@BlackAmericanoNoSugar - no, not market research. It must be more common than I thought!

If she's that unpopular I wouldn't even bother with the fiver. Leaving gifts are meant to show appreciation and love, if she hasn't earned it, then sucks for her.

Have you given anything? I wouldn't chip in £25 but I'd throw in a couple of quid. Then yes, flowers. Not because she particularly deserves it, but because the alternative is potentially awkward as fuck and could cause you hassle.

I work across three different teams - someone is always sick, retiring, leaving for a new job or going on maternity leave. I am always getting asked to contribute to collections. I just decided on a fixed amount I can afford and stick to it, however well I know or like the person. It gets too difficult otherwise.
We were in a similar position to the OP in that someone who has been difficult to work with & is unpopular suddenly got a new job. We all chipped in for a gift & brought things in for a pot luck - we saw it more as a celebration of this person leaving & a sigh of relief about no longer having to work with them. We were probably more enthusiastic about this leaving do than those of well liked & missed former colleagues. That may be a little bitchy but at least this person left with a comparable gift to that given to others & having had a nice team lunch. They lack insight into their inter personal difficulties so I highly doubt thay know the feelings behind it are different. I suppose that is less honest of us than in OP's case of people just not contributing, but as I say I contribute to so many leaving gifts I just paid up for another one & didn't overthink it!

**we are the HR department”

Am I the only one not the least bit surprised that someone senior in HR is posting such a thread? The irony that HR departments always seem to fizz with bitchiness and tension.

We had a similar situation recently. I’m part of a team of about 15-20 people across for offices nationally but there were five of us in my office. One of them was leaving and I’m the person who usually ends up organising things. Thing is she wasn’t v popular within the team. No one really wanted a collection so we didn’t do one. I got her a nice card and spent about £3.50. That was my contribution! Then other people were asking if there’s a collection (one head of our team but in another office and the other head of our office as a whole but friendly with the person leaving) and I had to explain no there wasn’t interest in one. I considered it was my sole responsibility and if anyone wanted to do a collection then they should. In the end the head of office asked the office manager to do start a collection and order some flowers.

Sounds like bullying, that her colleagues all agreed not to chip in. And you’re seemingly ok with it? Mean.

Pretty bullying to expect people to contribute personal money to someone they don't necessarily like.

RibbonAurora makes good points about doing the same for everyone or not at all. I agree with this in the workplace - what people do regarding friendships outside of work is different.

When a similar person left my team we all chipped in and were very enthusiastic about her new job because we were glad to see the back of her. It backfired and when her new job went horribly wrong she came back because she thought we liked her 😭. She's a nightmare to work with.

So don't put in too much effort!

Can't really call people declining to voluntarily pay their own money for something bullying.

Ooh prosecco those look lovely I might add those to my Santa list

If you really can't drum up any money, I'd spend the £10 on an actual gift, rather than turning it into vouchers. Agree with the prior suggestions of flowers or vegan chocolates.

@Dilemmacentral actually, it's the first time, in the ten years I've worked in this team, that there's been any tension and it's not a personal thing. The woman really is lazy at work!

Sorry your experience of HR isn't positive; we're a pretty friendly bunch.

@Dilemmacentral actually, it's the first time, in the ten years I've worked in this team, that there's been any tension

Do you honestly expect us to believe that? In any team, indeed any relationship whatsoever!, over a10 year period there will be points of tension.

But not apparently in your HR department.

Lush gift set then!

Just get her £10 in vouchers, it's what the collection was. How else is she going to know that she might need to pull her socks up in her next job?