AIBU to think I feel different this time round....

[mooglycrunch]

I moved house from 300 miles away 3 weeks ago at 34 weeks pg with second son, first DS is 2.2 years

I am stuck in hospital and have just been told that it will likely be until c-section in 2 weeks.

It is not what I was expecting, basically high BP threatening to turn to Pre-eclampsia, GD meaning steroids to prepare lugs for birth so now on sliding scale insulin pump meaning I've been woken for bloods every hour for the past 20 hours.

I had a bad experience pre and post delivery last birth and hospital sends my anxiety up and therefore my BP.

It's just struck me that I'm, so focused on getting through this I haven't even thought about my baby being here. I've just realised - SHIT I have to take a baby home after this! I feel like a crap mother to him already along with the usual worry of "will I love the second as much as the first". Which I know is probably rubbish.

I'm asking for your lovely birth stories to give me a good boost of oxytocin and feel good baby hormones. I need the MN hive mind to give me reassurance and tales of experience while I'm sat here wobbling like buggery about how I don't yet feel connected to this little one in the same way as I did with the first - PLEASE HELP xxxx

I’m due an c section in 11 days at 37 plus 4 I’ve had one before and it was my loveliest birth of all my three children I walked into theatre nice and calm and rested and as soon as baby was out I got a cuddle and into recovery as soon as possible , being stuck in bed was a bit tricky but gave me time to just lie and cuddle baby , you will be fine once he/ she is here . It’s awful sitting in hospital thinking about all the things you need to do but a baby only needs somewhere to sleep and a car seat , good luck xxx

I have a 23year age gap between my Dd's. Dd2 was definitely a surprise and I didn't find out I was pregnant until I was 5mths.
When I was 7mths pregnant Dd1 died suddenly, the thought of having another baby was awful,all we had bought was a pram, nothing else. I was dreading giving birth i just wanted to be with Dd1. I told my midwife I didn't want to hold the baby when it was born, (didn't know the sex).
My Labour was very quick, when she arrived I nearly knocked the midwife on her arse,to get a hold of Dd2 😂.
I don't know where the feeling came from because I definitely didn't feel that way before she arrived.
Dd2 is the best thing to happen to us, she's nearly 3 now.
Hope everything works out for you, I'm sure it will.

Moogly oh my love, put down that stick you are beating yourself with!
Stuck in hospital, not well, worrying about your health and next to no sleep, give yourself a break already.
You are currently compartmentalising, because of the situation you have found yourself in. As the pp's have said, it will will fine, it really, really will. You know you are a good mum to your first child, absolutely no reason to believe you won't be to your second.
Be gentle to yourself and trust yourself.