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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To do a low paid job?

20 replies

LEMtheoriginal · 26/08/2018 11:27

I love my job. I am retraining quite late in life. It is a job that is actually quite involved and can be stressfull yet notoriously underpaid and undervalued/recognised profrssionally.

After 3 years training my wages will only rise to 20k with increments only every fice years post qualification. There is limited progression.

On paper i should be able to earn much more however due to a significant career break due to being a SAHM and mental illness my employabilty in reality is not up there with my qualifications iyswim.

I am in the south east. I walk to work so now commute to pay for. I do however do long hours and find a work/family balance challenging. However commuting would eat up my time anyway.

I say again i love my job. Its not without stress but im confident anf i kniw i do it extremely well.

Its just always in the back of my mind that i should be earning more and prioritising salary over doing something i enjoy? Not saying id want to do something i dont enjoy but that i could put myself out tgere and do more ?

OP posts:

Original poster

LEMtheoriginal · 26/08/2018 11:29

Please excuse the atrocious fat finger typing!

OP posts:

DolorestheNewt · 26/08/2018 11:35

I don't think you should necessarily prioritise salary over everything else just for the sake of it, no! But do you have any debt? Are dependants having to live in unreasonable levels of frugality to support your preferences? Are you able to get the things you need for yourself, and can you fund the things that you really want to fund for dependants? Those would be my first questions, off the back of your OP.

FWIW I choose to earn quite a lot less than I could because I want to work fewer hours, and that imposes certain limitations on us as a family.

Singlenotsingle · 26/08/2018 11:36

You do all that training, all that work and earn peanuts with no hope of ever earning a decent salary? I know job satisfaction is important but surely you don't feel valued if the pay is so low? You don't say what you do, but is it something you can do self employed? Eg nursery nurse working as a nanny?

Shampoo0 · 26/08/2018 11:39

Have you put your CV up to see what sort of jobs you get? Higher pay jobs doesnt always mean you won't enjoy it as much.

Gettingbackonmyfeet · 26/08/2018 11:43

I agree with other pp as long as a lower paid role doesn't impact negatively ( relatively) on your family ...dc and or partner then do what you feel passionate about

I don't agree that low pay means less value , at the beginning of my career I worked heavily for charities ...extremeley low pay and long hours and complex work but I loved it and I was being paid what the charity could afford not what they valued me at those were two very different things

Do what makes you passionate money isn't the be all and end all as long as you have a roof over your head and good to eat

Original poster

LEMtheoriginal · 26/08/2018 11:48

Dolores - we are far from well off and it was worse when i wasnt working however we are doing ok. Never really been a high earner. Could do with more money yes - couldnt everyone? We manage two family holidays a year (albeit it a weeks camping in the uk but we love it!) Which we didnt before. Money IS always tight. Dp is self employed and that is a whole other thread believe me!

The rewards of my job are immense on a personal/vocational level but it aint ever going to see me in a nicer house car that isnt 20 years old held together with duck tape !

Just one dd at home and she doesnt go without

OP posts:

HopelesslydevotedtoGu · 26/08/2018 11:50

Every time i would choose a job with a reasonable salary (not necessarily the highest, but reasonable for the hours and effort), career progression, flexibility and where your skills and experience are in demand, over a job that you "love". Most jobs have a degree of repetition after you've been doing them a while. If you have a reasonably paid, lower stress, flexible job you can pursue things you love in your free time. Parents I know who pursued a job they love with low pay, no progression, high stress have often had problems with not earning enough, being made redundant or not having enough flexibility around childcare. Personally I've found a higher paid job better for my mental health as I have more options.

DolorestheNewt · 26/08/2018 11:53

Also a question I would ask: do you have a partner who also earns, and how do they feel about supporting your choice? Do they feel that you're forcing them to underwrite your preferred line of work without considering other options? I don't want to stray into the territory of a TAAT, but this has been extensively, and contentiously, discussed this week.

DolorestheNewt · 26/08/2018 11:54

Ah, cross post - doesn't sound like that's the issue here. As you were!

Confusedbeetle · 26/08/2018 11:56

work life happiness is the most important thing. Salary is only important if you are struggling

Thingsdogetbetter · 26/08/2018 12:01

Job you love with just enough money over pay rises, stress and being unhappy for 8 hours a day, every time!! Took a £5k drop in salary last year to change jobs and I thank God every day that I did. I didn't realise how miserable and stressed I was until I left. Working is an awful lot of time to not be happy and it really impacts non-working time too. Depends on what's important o you. Money, status and financial acknowledgement is important to some, but not me! I like to 'skip' to work in the morning rather than drag myself there counting down the days til the weekend. Lol

EvaHarknessRose · 26/08/2018 12:05

Most people have neither job satisfaction or a good salary, so I think you may have hit the jackpot there. Plus maybe it is an investment in your long term mental health? You also seem to have your priorities in life right.

Original poster

LEMtheoriginal · 26/08/2018 12:21

Dolores - i actually do think my dp would prefer me to earn more however he doesnt feel he is payrolling it - it would be more than he dare!

OP posts:

palmtree1 · 26/08/2018 12:28

It depends on what's most important to you. I like nice things in life, I like going out with the children to places my parents couldn't afford to take me. I like buying nice birthday/ Christmas presents for the kids. So my husband and I work hard in jobs that are not our passion but allow us to make the choices / have the lifestyle we want.

After having kids all my friends went back to work part time as did I but now when youngest is 5 I am working full time and want to have a good job. My view is if I have to spend 40+ hours there I want to earn a reasonable salary, or the most I can.
However I am lucky I have a great husband and he works ridiculous hours, but also juggles school pick up & drop off so our children don't do after school clubs or holiday clubs despite us working a lot.

I also think I'm setting my kids a good example that women can work and have a career. I want my son and daughter to know that

Thehop · 26/08/2018 12:44

I work in early years and won’t ever earn more than a little over minimum wage. I do it because I love it and it’s very kind to family life. There are more important things than money.

ilovesooty · 26/08/2018 13:12

If your family isn't struggling and you're not in debt your well being is much more important than money and progression.

continuallychargingmyphone · 26/08/2018 13:15

At the risk of sounding rude how do you actually manage? I couldn’t manage on 20k in the SE.

DolorestheNewt · 26/08/2018 13:18

i actually do think my dp would prefer me to earn more however he doesnt feel he is payrolling it

Of course he'd like you to earn more - who wouldn't! But it doesn't sound like it's causing resentment, which is what I was concerned about.

Original poster

LEMtheoriginal · 26/08/2018 14:59

We are managing though. My dp earns similar wage and i am able to save both via work saving scheme and personally. I think our lifestyle is pretty extravagant. We have a big mortgage and a debt that costs £100 a month. Pay for private tuition for dd and eat out a fair bit. But its just knowing i could earn more that galls

OP posts:

DolorestheNewt · 26/08/2018 15:04

Private tuition is never extravagant IMO, OP, but if you can manage to eat out even occasionally, sounds like you can make a choice that isn't entirely driven by money, which is a great place to be!

I do wonder, though, if you might be at risk of narrowing your choices in future if you make these choices now. If you're looking at something you love, but that has no or limited career progression, be careful. I took a job that was actually very well paid indeed 25 years ago. I'm still there (for a number of reasons) and now I'm (a) a bit stuck because I'm rather deskilled to put me back in the wild, and (b) bored to the back teeth with it.

Don't think because you love it now, you'll love it for ever, and beware being the middle aged person who realises she no longer has options.

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