To be worried about DD starting secondary school

[noprobllamas]

DD didn't have a great experience in primary school. She went to a small primary with around 22 kids in her class from year 2 to year 6. She had a tough time settling in and never really made any close friendships, she talks to some of the boys occasionally but the girls were horrible to her. She's very shy, small for her age and a bit behind academically for her age, so they teased her about this. Perhaps because she's only just in the year by a matter of hours, her birthday is 31st of august. She made a best friend in year 4 i think, she really came out of her shell during that time but this friend was only at the school for a year. Since then she's been even more closed off at school, at home she's comfortable so she's quite chatty and outgoing around us. The secondary school is massive, especially compared to her primary. She had two induction days but only ended up going on one because one of the girls from her class had said something about her infront of a full class and they all laughed. I thought sending her to the closest school was the best option, so she could take herself there and back, she's been there a few times so she's familiar with the school and building since she doesn't really like new places. But i don't think any of the other schools in the area are any smaller, they all seem very alike. She's nervous about starting but at the same time she didn't like her primary so she's quite happy to be leaving it

She'll be fine. My youngest daughter didn't enjoy Primary School and didn't have a great time there either. She's enjoyed Secondary School so much more. She moved from a tiny, village Primary, to a huge Secondary and was very nervous about it. By October half term, she was very well settled and is now just about to start Year 13. Her road hasn't been without bumps but we've helped her to deal with them and to become a bit more assertive at sorting out things for herself. She's now a much more confident young lady. Hugs for you both X

Lots of new friends to be made! Different classes so lots of opportunities to mix with others.

That’s the downside of small primaries. Sometimes they just don’t find their tribe. At secondary she will have much more a chance to make friends that are like her, as long as she is still prepared to make the effort in the first couple of terms and have an open mind to opportunities, she will be fine - honest!
My DD was the same but I’m not sure I would have been less worried if she had gone to a small secondary!

My DD went to a very small primary school, only 10 girls in her form, and because she was very shy (then!) didn't really find her feet the whole time there. She's also an August baby so there may be something in that.
She's now about to go into Year 10 and has totally blossomed since secondary school, she has a good large group of friends, has had no problems socially whatsoever, and is very happy.
I was very worried because the most popular girl in primary was put into her new form and complained bitterly about being with my DD; how it changed from a 'big fish in a little pond'. She is now on the edge of the friendship group my DD has, though my DD being of a generous nature does try to include her.
So I would say that while it's very natural to have concerns, I think you may just find your DD comes into her own and fits right in,

When I did the transition visits to the Primary schools I used to tell them they needed to get to know two things quickly, Where are the toilets and Where do I go for lunch?
I also asked if they were afraid of getting lost, lots of hands went up and I would tell them Yes, you'll get lost but we'll always find you!
Talking to the pupils it was clear that they were often worried about their parents' anxiety regarding the transition!

Let them get on with it, it's the next stage in letting go.

My DS went to a tiny primary school, he was so different from the other lads in his class and, although gregarious, didn't fit in.

When he went to secondary school, he found other people just like him and had a brilliant time. He actually enjoyed school. There was a group of them, girls and boys, and he loved it.

Try not to worry. She will be ok.