Worried about little cousin.

[Cheekyfseverywhere]

Sorry everyone I did originally post this in SEN but I didn't get any responses just looking for someone who can help so posted for traffic.

Tonight I had my 2 little cousins stay over. The eldest is 10 and has ASD I provide a lot of childcare and regularly have them stay over I am really close to both of them and love them like my own. I also have a 2 year old dd.

DCousin 10 autism is pretty severe. She finds communication quite difficult and the bulk of her speech is mostly random words which she will repeat over and over. She does have a good understanding of language and can follow simple instructions and is able to answer simple questions. She is usually a very happy child and I've only ever seen her cry twice in her life this includes as a baby she never really shows emotion at all.

Tonight I brought the girls back here and their mum also came aswell as me and the mum are very close friends. It Got to abouy half 8 and I said that it was time for the dc to go up to my bedroom and watch their movie they had asked for however my dd had decided she wanted her bottle and to go to bed so i told the other 2 to say goodnight to my dd. All of a sudden DCousin 10 started getting really emotional and had tears in her eyes she was like this for a few minutes then after a drink she calmed down and said she wanted to go up to watch the film so i took her and her sister upstairs. About 20 mins later I popped my head around the door to check on them and ask if they were enjoying their movie again DCousin 10 started looking really emotional but answered yes.

This is really out of character for her so naturally we are all really worried we did try asking her what was bothering her but I'm not sure she could understand so started saying my dds name and something about my dds hair? All quite random.

One thing I did think of recently DCousin has started really making a point of saying either goodbye or good night to people as appropriate and when my dd was going up to bed she was saying it to my dd and although dd ran over and gave her a cuddle as she usually does she didn't say goodnight back (this isnt unusual for my dd as she is still only 2) did my DCousin feel ignored or like my dd doesn't like her? Or is the whole thing with dd totally irrelevant and is there something else going on?

I suggested to her dm that if this continues it may he worth taking her to the gp as something more could be going on I was thinking a long the lines of amemia or something like that or maybe to do with her body getting ready for puberty. Either way I'm really worried and it broke my heart to see her so upset but unable to communicate what had upset her. As i say she never cries as all she's never had a melt down or gotten angry she really is as placid as they come. Can anyone offer some advice or shed some light.

I am very close to the parents and see them most days their children have a very happy home life and are showered with love and attention and the siblings get on despite the age gap. I just want to know how to help best at the moment.

Tia! Sorry if I have any terms wrong i mean no offence at all.

Children with ASD often struggle with a change of plan. So she may have thought all along that your dd was going to snuggle up with them for the movie. Then suddenly she is off to bed. She may have found that disappointing and struggled to adjust to the change in what she thought was happening. Maybe more clearer explanation next time in advance....like Rosie won't be watching the movie as she is too small and has to go to bed.
But she sounds a sweet child so l'm sure she will be fine.

My first thought was the same, that she expected to watch the movie with your dd and play with her hair (only because that’s what my son does with his sister!) and then she was going to bed so she couldn’t do that.

Sorry for the leap. I hope she’s ok. You all sound like a lovely family.

Why a anaemia? Seems an odd leap. Agree there was a change of plans she struggled to cope with. Also bear in mind she may be entering puberty therefore hormonal.

She seems a bit better this morning but a little on the wobbly side I've tried to keep things how I usually do them when they stay so same for breakfast ect. The sisters usually watch a movie just the 2 of them my dd always carries on to bed so it wasn't out of the ordinary for Dd not to watch the movie. Because of asd she always asks for the same movie and last night was no different.

Sorry I forgot to include in op the reason I thought amemia is because she really doesn't eat a lot of fruit or veg at home she is offered it but it tends to get left. As a rule she always eats school dinner so during term time she's eating plenty of fruit and veg and snack every day is always fruit but at home she won't eat any of those items. She is a very slim girl but then she always has been i just wondered whether her diet throughout the holidays might of contributed to what happened as I know myself if I have don't eat as well as usual (not enough fruit and veggies) I can start feeling anxious and a bit tearful we were really just tossing up a few ideas as to what could be wrong. I will say that considering her asd she does always handle change of plans really well and is always really excepting for example if we say we are going to the park but then it starts raining unexpectedly and we then tell her we cannot go to the park because it's taking she is usually totally fine and jusy says okay cheerfully and at that point will find something else to do or ask if we are going to go somwhere else instead but never does she get upset. She is a really sweet girl and she behaves beautifully. I do agree with pp though it was just really out of character.

You are worried she is anaemic because she got emotional? Or did you mean something else?

Seems more like she was upset either because your daughter didn't say goodnight or because she thought your daughter would be watching the movie with them

Bamber I do think you're probably right. As i say we were just a bit worried last night so thought of a couple explanations as to what could of triggered it. She does still seem a little wobbly this morning but happy as dd is all over her as usual dd is very affectionate with her she's just not great with speech yet and although she can say bye and night she doesn't always answer when those things are said.

Hopefully she will be back to her normal self soon then. It must be really difficult when communication isn't easy

Yes definately she's getting older now it must be really frustrating she's started a new specialist school in Sept as she was in main stream I really hope they are able to help her find ways of communicating. She's in the front room now I can hear her laughing her head off at the telly