Mum died in March from what was initially determined death by natural causes because nothing was found from the post mortem. They were to send off bloods and samples to be analysed and we’d get the final results in 3 months.
During that time, I’ve cried and cried about how much I miss her etc. But I’ve also been able to come to terms with her passing - obviously feel sad but not to the extent that I’d be crying every day.
The results came through (on my birthday would you believe - 5 months later)! and the coroner has determined that the cause of death was suicide by overdose.
My aunt has disclosed the statement she gave and said that my Mum told her several weeks before that she was going to kill herself (she’s done this a few times as a cry for help throughout her life!). Mum also told her Mum and the last meeting they had, she said her “she had to go now”. I’m 1 of 6 children and she put all of our hospital tags in a jar labelled “for my Mum” and put it in a prominent space that it would be spotted.
Everyone around me is feeling sad but understanding that she must of been very low and at least she’s no longer in pain (she’s a hard life of loss and heartache). They’re saying that now they feel closure and can move on. But I feel the complete fucking opposite, I can’t help but feel so pissed at her for not taking the time to at least write a note us. It sounds like it was planned (the way she spoke to other family members) and I just feel like why couldn’t she just of taken the time to say a final few words. Just something for us to cling to. We’ve all got nothing, I don’t even have a picture with her. I’ve got no closure, so many questions and such a heavy heart at the fact that this is forever. I can’t believe she would do this to us, like this. Surely we deserved something.
AIBU? 