Worried about my ds

[Biffsboys]

My ds(21] got robbed at knifepoint on holiday with his friends a few weeks ago , I am now suffering terrible anxiety when he goes out . I’m sitting here knowing he will be out until the early hours but my stomach is churning and I won’t sleep . AIBU to be texting him to make sure he’s safe ?

I understand your anxiety but please don’t text a 21yo man to check he’s safe!

It’s a scary world out there unfortunately, and it must have been terrifying for him (and you) to have been robbed at knife point, but you really can’t let it get to you like this.
Try to think of something else instead of fuelling your anxiety.
Don’t sit up worrying, have a drink, a bath, watch some shite on tv, snuggle into bed with a good book.
Don’t text him!

How's he coping since?

I'm sorry that happened to your DS, how scary. I've a DS the same age and I would be worried too.

But I would be glad that despite the robbery he is OK about going out with his friends & carrying on with normal life.

Don't text him, he's not away on holiday in an unfamiliar place now, he's out with his friends and he'll be fine.

In the nicest possible way, he doesn't need his mum fussing about him, even though I know you can't help it worrying. Try & get some sleep.

Thank you all for the positive thoughts - he seems fine although doesn’t want to talk about the experience ? It happened the first night of his holiday and was a terrible week of worry ! I know its not about my feelings and he’s totally an adult, but I can’t help feeling stressed 😞

I still text my 24 and 25 yr olds to check they are safe! (especially if they are driving longer distances) If that makes me unreasonable, so be it... they always reply, and that's all I need!

MY DS 1 was mugged aged 17, losing a tooth in the process. My DB was knocked unconscious at knifepoint at a cash point...he's built like a tank, yet it still happened.
I do one text..they reply...all good!

I can understand you feeling anxious but try to remember that it's quite a rare thing to happen. Think of all the times he's been out and been absolutely fine. This has happened to him only once in probably hundreds of times going out with his friends to shops, parties, pubs, cinema etc.

Do speak to your GP though if you think your anxiety is interfering in your life though.

Forgot to answer your actual question, I don't think you would be unreasonable to text him, but if he doesn't answer because he doesn't look at his phone, will you feel worse ?

What a horrible thing for your son and you to have gone through. Anxiety is a terrible monster that only looms larger when we try to ignore it. I think you should talk to your son, tell him exactly how you feel and how much you worry. Tell him you know he's a grown man, but ask if it would be ok if you text ONCE a night when he is out. Just for a while. In the meantime, you need to take responsibility for your own mental health and see your gp or a therapist to help you learn to cope with your anxiety. Don't keep this bottled in.

So over Xmas period he’s been out a lot and I’m really struggling to deal with it . Not sure how to deal with it - I’ve not annoyed him , just asked for a text to let me know he won’t be home .
I don’t want to go on medication so don’t see point in gp visit? Just need an idea of how to calm myself when he’s out .