boyfriend used debit card (which he does from small things)but without asking me this time, i think he might have forgotten to tell me but im frustrated

[sabrina1234]

So my boyfriend has my debit card details and I have let him use it in the past when he is struggling e.g. when he has no money for food or just for him to order me things. Sometimes he uses it for small things like when he didnt have a ride from the hospital to home so he used it for a uber without telling me which was fine as he had a concussion and wasnt able to drive home anyway. but recently i was trying to buy something for myself online that only cost £6.00 and wasnt able to and was confused as to why. so i checked my account and i had been paid £50.00 from work on friday and found out that he spent that money without telling me on 2 shirts that cost £50.00 altogether. I was upset by this as alot of the time i have to spend my money when he takes me out to places and wehenever we go out to eat. his birthday is in 2 weeks so that money was supposed to be spent on that. he has spent alot on me which i always tell him not to as he is broke himself just as much as me and he says he does it because he wants to. but i just find it stupid to put yourself in more debt and just because he does that doesnt mean that i have to aswell. then he complains that i never do anything for him or take him out but whenever he takes me out or suggests to go somehwehre it is mainly me paying anyway?!. I have already taken so much money out of my savings because of it and it im just hurt that he already knows im broke and didnt even ask me before purchasing these things on my card, fair enough if it wasnt that much money but he literarily spent my paychek.i cant even work that much as i do full time hours of placement at the hospital every week along with university exams and assignments so rarely have time to work amongst it all. i feel bad for confronting him about it because he always buys me things and isnt afraid to spend money on me ven if hes in debt but i just feel like he should have at least considered my situation and all the other stress i already have with everything going on in my life, i just dont know how to approach him with it. he always has had the whats yours is mine outlook but i dont think it should go to the extent of making another person purposefully broke

He doesn't respect you. Do you really want a man who takes advantage of you like that?

It’s really bad that you have spent your savings because of him.

How much more......

How will you manage without the £50?

Why work all week just for him to empty your account?

His behaviour is abusive.

Dump him! He is a loser.

At the very least, he has a completely different outlook on money to you and, long term, that’s never ends well. I don’t think you’ll be happy with him in the future because of it, and being in a relationship ‘for now now’ Isn’t , generally, a good idea. You get too attached, possible pregnancy etc. It’s far smarter to separate now before you get in too deep. I know it’s hard when you love someone and just hope they’ll they'll change this one thing, but it really doesn’t work that way. You’ll be incompatible in other ways too, because they way he thinks about money reflects on other things too - boring shite like housework and other big things like looking after kids.

Do yourself a favour and break up with him now, while you can do it somewhat amicably and before you end up somewhat trapped ‘big stuff’ (house/kids etc).