Friends leaving me out

[Nurse1980]

Hi, I’ve had a group of friends now for 20 years. Used to go on holiday together, nights out etc. I see one of them separately every couple of months.
A couple of years ago I saw on Facebook that they had all gone out without me. I didn’t take it well at the time, was in the middle of a bad post natal depression spell. It really upset me at the time. I did mention it to one of the girls and she said no one had any problem with me and I wasn’t left out on purpose.
Anyway we’ve seen each other since then on occasion. Not as often due to children coming along, marriages etc. Anyway I saw on Facebook again today about them all going to a different city in September for a night out. I’ve not been invited.
Then about half an hour ago I saw two of the girls tagged on Facebook on a night out. No invite again.
I am again suffering from post natal depression and spent most of the day in tears. I’ve taken the step of deleting and blocking these girls on Facebook so I don’t have to see their night out/social plans any longer. It sounds pathetic but I just can’t deal with it at the minute.
No I don’t know what to do, just completely cut them off or not. I’m supposed to be meeting one of them next week for tea.

I was on that holiday and I don’t think she behaved badly. She can be a bit full on, bit didn’t deserve to just get dumped.

I’m afraid most people find it extremely difficult to cope with people with depression. I have lost several friends due to ongoing depression. They just cannot deal with it. I don’t think a lot of people see is as a real illness despite all the publicity. I often see how much support is offered if one has a physical illness, but not the same with depression. I have a good job, lovely child and family, but very few friends. I actually think I could die and only a handful of people would notice.

Tbh they don't sound too nice, dropping that friend like that. Sounds like they are doing that to you. Maybe they think you are too busy or tired with your chikdren. Sometimes you have to delete, self preservation. It's like a weight off yiur shoulders.

@booandbumpp

I also closed my Facebook account and won't be going on Instagram , not because of anything specific, I just got sick of seeing everyone doing wonderful things all the time, especially when I was spending the weekend doing DIY or something boring .

Not that I don't have a good life too, it's just bound to make you feel left out or wish you could be doing something exciting! But, as a friend (who always seems to be having a great time) said to me, "I only post the good things, there are some bad days as well."

OP, these ladies have form for scapegoating people by suddenly leaving them out or dropping them without explanation. It's very cliquey and childish - do you really want to be friends with people like that?

In your shoes, I'd keep in touch with the people in the group whom you particularly like and not bother with the rest. Life's honestly too short.
Focus on your own health and family, I hope you feel better very soon.

Very true that life is too short! One of the women I’m very close to. But she knows how it upset me last time when I saw photos of their night out but she still continues to put them on Facebook knowing that I will see them.