iv put my foot in it.

[cmlover]

backstory is important to this I feel.

back in school I builled horrendously by most of my year. esp by this one girl.
I had a group if 4 friends.

go forward to now. one if my friends (from) school has invited me out. she made friends with this one girl, the girl has admited to my friend she was a bully and is so sorry etc.

my friend added me to a group chat, and it pinged up that thus girl wasn't able to go. I replied. aw that's a shame, I was looking forward to seeing her and her changed self.

i was genuinely looking forward to it as it seemed like it could be beneficial to me.

only to realise she was on the chat to.
I tried saving myself by adding well have to have a meet up another day.

she hasn't seen it. I'm torn between feeling bad. embraased and oh well she made my life he'll.

OWN IT!

She made your life hell. if she’s truly sorry, she’ll take it on the chin. All you did was mention she had changed and she had said she had. If she’s not sorry, then who cares?!

I agree own it.

If she bullied she laid herself open to being judged and worse. Your comment could have been much worse ie: so glad that nasty piece of work can’t come. She must have shrivelled into an old witch as she was so full of bile.

I think you're over thinking it. Try not to worry.

You've not done anything wrong. If anything I'd take that as you saying no hard feelings

Agree with others, own it!!

If she hasn’t seen it then just delete it?

Hugs. I was bullied at work for about a year and could not imagine how awful it would have been as a child with little control over my environment. What you said was fine and tame compared to what you could have said. I hope she is genuinely changed and says sorry directly to you sooner rather than later. X

part of me wants to message her privietly and say hey sorry that might if come off rude, I know we're adult and past is in the past etc I'd really like to meet up for a drink.

infeel torn because iv not lied but it was uncalled for at the same time.

I agree it could have been sooo much worse.

Don’t feel embarrassed; you haven’t done anything wrong. In fact, your comment about wanting to meet her was generous considering how her younger self treated you.

I can't deleate it from there side. only mine.

As others have said, own it-you have nothing to be embarrassed about.

Having seen your latest post, I would say don’t pm her - let her come to you (with an apology, hopefully)

It’s very kind of you to welcome her into your group of friends after what she did.

I know you were children but it shouldn’t be just brushed over if you’re to become acquaintances as adults. It needs addressing and should have come from her tbh.
Her response will tell you if she is genuinely as sorry as she should be.

thank you, i feel better about it. I won't message her.

when i realised she was in it my heart started going and for that split second it felt like i was younger again and shed caught me in the school toilets upset and just put her boot in more.
then shit shit shit hiw domi make this better thought.

there's no point holding onto a grudge. I'll only hurt my self, so nit really kind, just protecting my self I think. plus she had admited to my friend hiw shitty she was and regreats it and we all deserve a second chance.

Don’t be embarrassed. Like others have said, own it! I once bumped into a girl in a pub who had bullied me at school. She asked me why I hadn’t accepted her Facebook friend request. I told her it was because she was a bully. It didn’t go down very well and she had to be dragged out of the pub. I felt great.

I think it'll make the bullygirl think "wow she's changed too, she's so much more confident". Don't sweat it mate x

Don't worry about it. You have nothing to feel embarrassed about.

You are right not to apologise. Imagine if you did and she didn't accept it very gracefully. She hasn't apologised to you yet and she has a lot more to apologise for. You don't have anything to apologise for.

I agree, own it.

When you do meet up. Act like a really grounded, secure, content, resilient person who couldn't care less whether she's sorry or not. Because you don't need her to be sorry. You've forgiven her, so whether or not she's sorry is not relevant really. HARD I KNOW, but channel it.

If you do meet up with her, listen to a thomas hall hypnosis session over night the night before.

Don’t worry about it, chances are she’s exactly the same as she always was..I don’t think nasty people ahve an epiphany very often in real life

Your 'how do I make this better?' response shows that you're a lovely person! :)

Don't message her seperatley, just own that you made a confident and STILL polite message. You are the bigger person definitely! Her response could show that she too has grown up and is truly sorry for what she did.

Well done you!

thank you every one, I feel alot better and calmer, when I mentioned it to my oh he said what all you guys have said.

nobody thank you for taking the Tim's to post that link. I think I'll find it usefully in other every day ways aswell.

I don't think you've put your foot in it, what you said was perfectly reasonable and not nasty at all.

She was horrible as a youngster, is sorry now and changed her ways, that's good. You'll probably see her in due course.