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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want my DH to take some pics of my and DC?

44 replies

Halfpastfreckle · 25/08/2018 11:29

First world problem I know but I’m always taking pics of DH with DC - often just capturing little moments. When they come up in timehop he often really loves the memories and we reminisce about when they were little babies etc. However I’m afraid if I was run over by a bus tomorrow they would have a handful of awkward posed pictures of me with them on days out what have you. I just wish he would try a bit to document my relationship with them. AIBU?

OP posts:
hangrymoo · 26/08/2018 18:04

Definitely not being U, but have you asked him? Grin

WarmingUpWithHotCoffee · 26/08/2018 18:09

Completely understand OP! I have loads of my husband from our recent holiday (and of course loads of the kids!) DH only took two of me, both v v unflattering of me in a swim suit sticking out belly doing bombs into the pool (!! Don't ask!!), which I've subsequently deleted from his phone!! NA few with him (I have lots of selfies of the two of us on evenings after the kids in bed!), with the children in cafes, on the beach, in the villa, etc... would have been lovely! According to his photos I wasn't even there with them on holiday!!

Poptart4 · 26/08/2018 18:39

Of course your not being unreasonable but you can't expect him to be a mind reader you have to ask him.

Im always asking dp to take photos of me and the kids. Sometimes (most of the time) i make him take multiple pictures because he's so bad at taking photos. Think cutting heads/limbs off, me with my eyes closed or mouth open, blurry... Honestly he'd make a super model look bad lol

Back to the point.. If you have to ask him each and every time you want a photo then do. If he takes a bad photo then ask him to do it again.

PrincessScarlett · 26/08/2018 18:42

It must be a man thing as my DH never takes photos of me and my DC. I have resorted to taking selfies.

tiredmummy1991 · 26/08/2018 18:45

My DH never takes any pics of me and the DC and it drives me crazy!

Stompythedinosaur · 26/08/2018 18:50

I used to feel like this, you have to talk about it and keep asking him to take pictures until it becomes a habit. My dp was happy to take photos when he knew it was important to me.

Whatsthisbear · 26/08/2018 19:34

Same with my DH I found there were always millions of pics of him but you would never know I was on the day out. I did start asking but it Annoys me that I constantly have to ask, it means there are never any spontaneous relaxed looking pics of me & DC as it always takes DH at least 30 agonising seconds of just getting the camera on before accidentally turning it off again or not being able to press the button by which time my smile has most definitely slipped. As for the composition...... trees growing out of heads, subject in shadow, messiest bit of the room in the pic basically pics so crap he might as well not bother

Gardeninginsummer1 · 26/08/2018 19:37

Dh will take them if asked.. trouble is then every picture is a posed one. No little special moments... but there's hundred of him

H00T3R · 26/08/2018 20:18

This irritates and upsets me too. There are no photos, not a single one, of me with my youngest as a very new newborn. It was only when I pointed it out at around 6 weeks that he thought to take one and then then you only get my eye & nose. Same again from our 1st family holiday - loads of husband and children, none of me. It's like I wasn't there. He just never thinks to take them, even though he takes pics of the kids. I got the kids their own little cameras and they take the candid, relaxed shots of me either by myself or with the others and they're actually surprisingly good. I then transfer these to my phone and have them printed out.

Original poster
Halfpastfreckle · 26/08/2018 20:26

I have asked him several times in proper serious conversations spelling out to him how much it would mean to me. I then might get him taking one or two and then it fades off again!! And I HATE having to ask specifically on a day out etc as you end up with awkward posed ones - god it really annoys me!

OP posts:
Lookingforadvice123 · 26/08/2018 20:28

YANBU! I've asked my DH to do this a few times. He will every now and again, but not often.

I don't do myself any favours though as I hate photos of myself and my instinct is to say "don't get me in the photo!".

Ansumpasty · 26/08/2018 20:31

I’m with you!
I’ve asked my husband hundreds of times if he could take nice, spontaneous pictures and he never does.
I’ve taken such lovely pictures of him napping with the children, having cuddles, laughing with them, etc.
I get staged ones next to an elephant in the zoo, after I’ve given him my phone and said ‘please take a picture’

aperolspritzplease · 26/08/2018 20:32

I said exactly this to my husband 'if I was run over by a bus tomorrow they'd have no idea what I'd look like'. He doesn't get it.

I've developed my selfie skills and just take photos of me and the kids now.

ChangerChangerson · 26/08/2018 20:33

YANBU, mines the same. I've mentioned it to him a few times but he forgets to take pics or just doesn't think to take natural ones like I do.

AngelsAckiz · 26/08/2018 20:36

YANBU I dunno why, but I've never had any photos taken of me like this either. By my ex or by bf! They never get their cameras out like this. I do. Always. It drives me insane. I only know what my face looks like posed. It's so sad. My kids are 14 and 9.

PavlovaFaith · 26/08/2018 20:40

Kaylin Maree Schimpf went viral after posting this message to Facebook:

Dear men... take the photo.

It doesn't matter what she looks like, or if she tells you no, take the photo. You may not think about it often, or at all honestly. But how many photos does she capture of you, of your family and of your life you've built. But when she is gone, those photos won't show your children the women who was behind the camera.

Take the photo. Messy hair, no makeup or a dirty old t-shirt won't matter to your children when she is gone someday. What will matter is that you loved what you saw enough to take a photo, to document it, to preserve that moment in time of the woman you love. No woman wants to look back at a lifetime of selfies. Do what she does for you every day, and snap a few moments in time.

Be proud. Take photos of her. Before kids and after.

Just take the photo...

Justabadwife · 26/08/2018 20:41

YANBU.
DH rarely takes pictures, I think it has something to do with him hating having his photo taken.
It's fine though. Me and dd (9) are great at selfies.

DrunkUnicorn · 26/08/2018 20:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Whyohwhy65 · 26/08/2018 20:45

This is exactly me. The only pictures I have of me and dc are either selfies, me looking like crap just after I have birth to her a d pictures of me and her sleeping which dh loves taking. He has loads of amazing ones of him and dc. Because I'm the one that took them Grin

MrsDeanWinchester75 · 26/08/2018 20:47

My dh never takes photos of me either, I'm a photographer so take my 'proper' camera out with me all the time and photograph anything.
It does annoy me that dh knows how much I love photographs yet never takes any of me without prompting, I've even been known to set my tripod up and my remote trigger then played with the kids to get candid photos with me on!

Nicpem1982 · 26/08/2018 20:49

op make sure he takes the pictures.

My Sil passed away unexpectedly and her then preschool child had a total of 16 photos of her and her mum together bil struggled to make her a photo book and had to pad it out with pics of her mum on her own

Please take the pictures

PeonyTruffle · 26/08/2018 20:51

Oh god no YANBU

I have another useless photo taking husband, really pisses me off if I'm honest. I have so many lovely pics of DH and DS just being together and barely any of DS and I

PeonyTruffle · 26/08/2018 20:53

Nicperm
That's so sad Thanks x

Nicpem1982 · 26/08/2018 20:54

Peony- I know. We take 100s now of us with our dd and dn when she's here with us

Hillarious · 26/08/2018 20:55

You're not on your own. After 24 years of marriage, DH is finally getting the message. I've also trained up DS1 well and he's an excellent photographer - he's learned well from me how to frame a photo and get the lighting right.

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