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AIBU?

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Original poster

A&E asked how I even knew I was pregnant.

49 replies

Bighoooley · 24/08/2018 23:09

Hi, I was 6w 3D pregnant - numerous positive test, over 30.

Woke up covered in blood so went to A&E but as I hadn’t yet confirmed preg with GP the doctor accused me of lying - I have 4DC already!

Saying how did I even know I was pregnant and that’s it’s a period

OP posts:
SummerIsEasy · 24/08/2018 23:53

stillnotdoctor

Channel Islands may have different healthcare system. No A&E bill for this in the UK.

neveradullmoment99 · 25/08/2018 00:12

I was 5wks when I lost a baby. I was heartbroken. BFP then started to bleed and then BFN. It was horrible.I went on to fall pregnant with my dd 4 months later. It helped to heal the loss that I suffered. Its hard Flowers

IfIWasABirdIdFlyIn2ACeilingFan · 25/08/2018 00:20

I’m so sorry for your loss OP.

Your baby did exist. You don’t need anyone else to confirm or acknowledge that. You know it did.

I’m also very angry for you that this doctor doubted you. How dare they! To tell a woman going through a worrying and possibly dangerous experience that she isn’t actually going through it is just disgusting!

Skittlesandbeer · 25/08/2018 00:50

I’ve seen doctors (male & female) underplay miscarriage, thinking they are doing the parents a favour. As in ‘why don’t you think of it as a heavy period, it’ll be easier on your emotions and not a traumatic event you’ll take with you into your future life’.

It’s certainly how things were handled (mostly) in ‘old fashioned white coat’ medicine. I’m guessing that culture still hangs around in older lecturers, textbooks, etc. Probably more so in places that run their own small systems, like the Channel Islands?

Frankly, I know some personality types, amongst my friends, where that approach would still be fairly valid. But the majority of women now would find it belittling and more traumatising, as you do.

Sorry for your loss, and that you were treated without much respect at a difficult time.

BertieBotts · 25/08/2018 00:56

A positive pregnancy test plus bleeding is a potential ectopic pregnancy, though. It's more likely that it's a straightforward miscarriage, but an internal scan to check the position should be standard.

Changedmynametoolikeyou · 25/08/2018 01:02

Sorry for your loss. I have experienced the same thing (also not UK). Told I wasn’t pregnant when miscarrying. On my last pregnancy when I miscarried (4th time) I didn’t bother going anywhere and stayed at home. Didn’t want to be told again that I didn’t know my own body. I hope you make a quick recovery. Flowers

DerekTheBrave · 25/08/2018 09:03

Totally irrelevant question Derek

No it’s not.

The op has said that she took a really high number of pregnancy tests. Also that the Dr accused her of lying about being pregnant. And that she showed him the pregnancy tests.

I find it all odd tbh...I can’t imagine any Doctor when (for some reason) faced with positive tests turning around and telling the women she’s lying.

optimusprimesmother · 25/08/2018 09:05

Flowers unpleasant reaction from the doctors op

ChangerChangerson · 25/08/2018 09:07

I'm sorry for you loss, OP.

Some Drs end up like robots, I know mine was when he coldly told me I was losing my baby and nothing I could do about it.

tomatosalt · 25/08/2018 09:09

Where I am usually the hospital would do a blood test for HCG. Comparing HCG levels with estimated weeks of gestation can indicate whether the pregnancy is continuing or has ended.

zeebeedee · 25/08/2018 09:15

I had a similar experience - lots of blood, NHS 111 advised to go to EPAS, we turned up there to a really dismissive Dr saying it was 'just a heavy period' as that happens to 'people your age' (I was 39) He did do a blood test, but he never came back with the results. We were left sitting for ages until a lovely sympathetic nurse came to ask if we had problems with transport getting home - she didn't know we hadn't been given the results. She confirmed what we, and the 111 operator had thought, that it was a miscarriage , but the Dr didn't even speak to us again.

Some Drs are unsympathetic, but you know your body. Grieve with your husband Flowers

longwayoff · 25/08/2018 10:06

6 weeks and you went to A&E?

SimonBridges · 25/08/2018 10:15

6 weeks and you went to A&E?

Waking up covered in blood? Yes you go to A&E.

honeysucklejasmine · 25/08/2018 10:19

I had a similar experience. "You weren't even pregnant" said the male doctor after doing an internal exam. Awful, just awful.

OhFFSDH · 25/08/2018 10:29

I'm so sorry for your loss Flowers Grieve in the way that you need to grieve and don't worry what anyone else thinks. I hope you and your DH can get some good support through all of this.

I got scanned in A&E (baby confirmed) then admitted to a ward. The Dr asked how I knew I was pregnant too and thought both me and DH were lying when we told her. It felt like I was living in some sort of twilight zone.

cariadlet · 25/08/2018 10:36

I've had 2 miscarriages - one before I had my dd and one after. The second one was quite early, but I'd done a couple of tests and knew I was pregnant.

The 2 experiences were totally different. First time - admitted to hospital, had a d and c, supportive chats from nurses. Second time - pretty dismissive, acted as if it wasn't a miscarriage at all. I found it very difficult at the time.

notsohippychick · 25/08/2018 10:42

I had the same thing OP. Left in a waiting room to heavily bleed with no offer of a sanitary product etc (came straight from work so had access to none), the pain was horrific.

They didn’t believe me and said I was making up my pregnancy. There was no evidence of the pregnancy in my blood tests as hormone levels went down I assume.

It was terrible. Basically makes me feel like a mentalist. I was pregnant. 10 or so pregnancy tests don’t lie.

I understand the pressure nurses and doctors are under and I’m usually very pro NHS but this isolated incident left me really angry!

In fact I lost a second baby after that. I didn’t bother going to the hospital after my last experience!

notsohippychick · 25/08/2018 10:43

long oh do bore off. Of course you go to A and E.

birdonawire1 · 25/08/2018 11:04

Ive seen a young 17 year old being treated like scum as she miscarried. Zero empathy and caring. I think there are just some very uncaring people working in A&e sometimes.

SideOrderofSprouts · 25/08/2018 11:21

Which channel island are you?

If you are the same as me then you could not have been charged by a&e because they do not charge. They do however charge for the out of hours doctor which is more than £109

SideOrderofSprouts · 25/08/2018 11:25

Actually the one I’m on would only charge over £100 for a home visit. A visit to out of hours is maximum £60

viques · 25/08/2018 11:41

In August many hospital departments, including a and e are staffed by very new doctors who are on their first rotations, and bless them, are often a bit naive about life.

I am sorry for your loss and for the upset the doctors comments caused you, I can only hope that the doctor has learned something from it and treats their next similar patient better, though I realise that is little comfort for you.

CatsMother66 · 25/08/2018 13:08

I had similar and still think of it ten years on. I was 10weeks pregnant and started haemorrhaging every ten minutes or so. I was admitted to the gynae ward and in order to stop the bleeding I was induced. Of course I told them that I was miscarrying. One of the nurses told me that as I had not had my 12 week scan, they could not refer to it as a miscarriage or pregnancy. I saw my foetus and was surprised at how big it was. How could they not acknowledge I was pregnant!

Crunchymum · 25/08/2018 13:24

I assume the OP showed the Dr picture and didn't take the tests with her!!!

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