Husband and finance

[Minnie651]

Hi, feel like kicking him out but unsure if I AIBU?

I pay for everything, he contributes zero as his salary is spent paying off his car and card, bone of contention however was riding with it until his position improved.

Recently paid his overdraft off to improve his credit rating with a view to us moving house next year.

I had a little debt left and we’ve just been turned down for a small remortgage to consolidate what I had left because his bank account is full of gambling transactions. The 2k I gave him 2 months ago is now gone.

I feel like I have mug written across my forehead.

I hate to say it but yeah he is taking you for a mug. Does this man bring anything into your life other than grief?

I’d be giving him an ultimatum to be honest. Gambling is not ok as he is not contributing to the household.

We have a three year old who loves him, that is all. Plus a bit diy.

He is taking advantage of you. You should be parnters and you and his son should be his priority. You are carrying the burden of supporting the family alone, while he is jeopardising your future.

He needs to change his attitude to money and responsibility. Could you try relate? See if there is anything worth saving?

I feel like saying pay your way or out. Married 12 years, been like this at least 4 years.

I will google relate

Blowing 2k on gambling is serious. He clearly has a problem he needs professional help with. Give an ultimatum to seek that help or separate would be what I'd do.

Thanks all

I agree £2k gambling is absolutely a problem gambler in this situation.

Sorry for you OP, not an easy thing to have to live with.

If he's gambling all the money away - including yours every time you bail him out - an ultimatum is unlikely to achieve anything.

You would not be remotely unreasonable to end things.

Can anyone share their experience of separation in relation to the impact on a just turned 3 year old? Ha, at least I’ll be financially better off!

Please spilt with him, SIL list everything he just got increasingly deceitful- got card loans out despite being on debt repayment plan, he met the postman at the end of the close so nothing made it through the letterbox for her to find