To think teenagers should be left alone to enjoy life

[user1485342611]

I have a friend who's constantly nagging her teenage son to go out more, to get in touch with this person and that person, wondering aloud why he wasn't at such and such event, apparently loads of boys from his form were etc etc etc.

He's a quiet boy, but he does have friends and interests. He's just not into parties and being part of a big, popular crowd.

I've seen this so many times - teenagers being made to feel there's something odd about them if they're not out socialising all the time and in the thick of everything.

AIBU to think teenagers should be just left alone to enjoy their free time as they wish? I'm obviously not talking about young people who spend all day up in their rooms and have not friends or interests. But just normal, quiet teenagers who are quite happy the way they are?

My son is 12, he likes his own space goes on the computer talks to friends has lots of friends at school. He is just not in to socializing and sports. So I am made to feel like a failure as a mum because he is not in to much. He is a v happy boy.

Yes I suppose you are right, but I don't know of that many people like your friend. In my experience the majority of teenagers are out and about doing the things that their parents would prefer that they didn't do! Is your friend Edina?

I agree with you op. I dislike the way teenagers are variously demonised/ stereotyped and shoe horned into a "type". Funnily enough they're like every other demographic which isn't one homogenous group but millions of individuals.
A lot of the pressure from parents is because of competitive parenting where they're desperate to tell their peers how popular their dc are.

I insist my ds does an hour of sport at the weekend, but it can be any sport, karate, swimming, cycling whatever, and I insist he actually goes outside each day. shops, wash the car, sport, see a mate.
Or he would weld to his bed

But otherwise, he can see or not see whoever he likes.

Lovely of her to make him feel crap about things he may not even have been invited to.