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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Parking thread- am I the CF?

100 replies

Imsupposedtobeatwork · 24/08/2018 09:38

I live on a new build estate which I love, but recently the parking has become a total nightmare! I live in a row of four houses, each with a garage behind and an allocated parking space next to the garage. In front of the houses there are two visitors parking bays. Since moving in 7 years ago (when the houses were built), I've always parked in one of the visitor spaces, my next door neighbour uses the other. There is no rear access to the garages, so I have to walk around all the other houses to get to my house. No one was using the visitor parking so it seemed simpler. Recently other people have been parking in this spot. That's fine, it's a visitor spot and if someone else is there then I'll happily park in my parking space. However, I've often noticed that if I park there first, then someone parks behind me, making it almost impossible for me to get out. My neighbour next door has been having the same problem. There's lots of spare parking on the street, so there's no need for them to park here.

So my AIBU is- am I being the CF by being lazy and not using my own parking space, or are they by parking me and my neighbour in?

OP posts:

flumpybear · 24/08/2018 12:21

They're probably posed st you for being lazy and Parking in the visitors spaces - most housing with visitors spaces stipulate no residents to park there as it's for guests, not residents

PositivelyPERF · 24/08/2018 12:26

You can take a photo if your drawing, then upload it using the paperclip, just below the box you’re currently typing in.

I can understand why you can’t go through your back yard/garden and the back door. 🤔

MartyMcFly1984 · 24/08/2018 12:26

I think the idea is that next to the garage and space, they usually position your back gate, so you enter your property through the back. I understand some people wouldn't like this, but then I suppose they wouldn't buy that house.

RabbitsAreTasty · 24/08/2018 12:26

You are the cf.

Somebody is blocking you in deliberately. You have decided your convenience is more important than everyone else's. So, they are making damn sure your CF behaviour starts causing you major inconvenience.

I wouldn't be at all surprised if that person were on MN. It is exactly the kind of tactic the vipers would suggest.

PositivelyPERF · 24/08/2018 12:26

I can = I can’t

SassitudeandSparkle · 24/08/2018 12:32

There is probably a parallel thread somewhere with a MNetter parking behind the person who is blocking the space for their visitor!

Parking is always at a premium on new build estates, just park in your own spot OP.

OlennasWimple · 24/08/2018 12:34

We used to have a designated parking space that was the other side of the car park and it was a PITA to get the kids in and out of the car and safely to the house. But visitor spaces are clearly for visitors - NOT for residents who have badly placed parking spaces.

Sorry, you and the other residents who use the visitor spaces are being CFs

SoupDragon · 24/08/2018 12:36

I can’t understand why you can’t go through your back yard/garden and the back door

Perhaps there is no rear access to the house.

bingbongnoise · 24/08/2018 12:39

@FloralCup

Yes, but the OP's space does not sound very convenient - she has to walk past three houses and three garages.

She has to walk past 3 WHOLE HOUSES, and 3 WHOLE GARAGES?

OH MY GOD, how disgraceful that she has to walk some 200-300 feet distance. Shame on the builders.

And the OP obviously didn't know this when she bought the naffing house DID she?!

I despair sometimes, I really do.........

'First World Problems' doesn't even cut it here. This is just pathetic.

(I also find it hard to believe there is no rear access.)

RibbonAurora · 24/08/2018 12:46

It's bloody selfish to take up a visitor's spot when you have another place you can park and visitors don't. Really pisses me off on these new build complexes when I have to visit and spend ages driving around looking for a free visitor spot. I'd be bloody furious to find they were all taken up by residents like you who have spaces but just can't be arsed to walk a bit further. The distance you have to walk is irrelevant and I agree with bingbongnoise, it's not like you were unaware of this when you bought the place.

Daisy2990 · 24/08/2018 12:54

On our estate we have a similar set-up. People have to park in a certain place or they block other people into their garages/ drives.

Having lived with this for 4+ years I'd say this: take the hint before people start coming round asking you to shift the car. That is going to be a lot more inconvenient for you.

Remember, if the dispute escalates then you'll have to declare it when moving house and it could reduce the value of your property.

mumsiedarlingrevolta · 24/08/2018 12:57

If ever a diagram was needed...

ChocolateWombat · 24/08/2018 13:05

You are irritated that these other people come and park blocking you in when they could park up the road where there is space - well why don't you park up the road where there is space?

The problem is that you started doing something anti-social a few years ago and got away with it and it felt the norm to you after a while, but perhaps new people are irritated by it and trying to show their irritation - you should take the hint - it is you, not the peoplem parking close to you who are in the wrong place - you are not a visitor so don't park there u nless to unload for a few minutes. And yes, it maybe that if you stop parking there and park in your allocated space, someone else might start using the visitor space as you have, when not a visitor - that's up to them - you need to take responsibility for doing the right thing yourself - you really have no excuse because you actually have a garage and a space. You have been lazy and entitled (to something you're not entitled to) and now feel annoyed that someone else is parking in a selfish way, when actaually you have been doing it for years.

New estates are often very annoying - people park on the narrow roads blocking them and meaning people have to keep pulling over when driving along, to let those coming the other way go past - and they are parked there because they can't be bothered to do the short walk to their allocated parking or garage. Or, visitor parking is all filled with residents.....and these things become established or the norm because often people do t know their neighbours or haven't behaved correctly from the start.

Yes you have been a CF for 4 years. How about deciding to park in your allocated space from now on, or moving down the road to all this 'free parking' you expect others to use?

PavlovianLunge · 24/08/2018 13:15

OP: am I a CF?

Everyone: yes.

OP: but reasons.

Everyone: you are a CF.

OP: but everyone else does it.

Seems to me that you started this thread to justify your behaviour, and that you’re not liking the responses that you’ve received. It also seems like you’ll still do what you’ve been doing.

Anyway, you have had a bunch of opinions, which you’re free to ignore. You don’t have to justify yourself to a bunch of randoms, but you do have to live alongside your neighbours, so if I were you, I’d be more concerned about what they think of your parking.

ChocolateWombat · 24/08/2018 13:22

What is the definition of being a CF? It's someone who is selfish and puts themselves before other people and has a sense of entitlement and doesn't car how it impacts on others. A CF usually finds ways to justify their actions too - it's all part of the behaviour of a CF - an inability to accurately assess their own behaviour or consider the impact on others.

Parking in a space which is for other people is CF behaviour regardless of whether you have a parking space yourself. Doing it for years when you do have your own space is extremely CF behaviour - it's saying 'my desire to not have to walk the 50m required from my allocated space to my house is more important than the visitors right to park in a space designated for them by the planners'. Saying other people do it too is a failure to understand that wrong is simply wrong and to look for excuses.

I suspect OP will continue with her parking patterns. She essentially doesn't care if others R inconvenienced by her actions and is putting herself and her desires rather than rights ahead of the rights of others.

Gettingbackonmyfeet · 24/08/2018 14:28

I think yabu to see it as an issue if that makes sense

I get it ,I have a 5yr old and a 2 year old and getting in the house with them and lots of bags is a giant pain sometimes

And to be fair if you were using the space occasionally and moving the car to your spot when you have more time then fine

But

You can't moan when someone parks and it inconvenience you when you have another option

We have one dedicated space for our house and we (and the neighbours do the same) park our other car right in front of our house which is legally free parking (it would be a bit unlikely someone would park their instead of us just because it's literally on our path opening ) but it is legally free for anyone and if someone did park there we have less than no reason to be snotty about it

And frankly suck it up....ive lived and parked in far more complicated scenarios and basically it's my problem

I chose to live there,I chose to have two cars in the household and I chose to have two cars....thereby my problem no-one elses

Gettingbackonmyfeet · 24/08/2018 14:29

Chose to have two children....i didn't lose my mind and repeat a sentence honestly

crispysausagerolls · 24/08/2018 14:34

candlefloozy

I don’t understand why you and one neighbour have the right for telling another neighbour off for doing exactly what you are doing for a different reason?!? Unbelievable.

KnotsInMay · 24/08/2018 15:16

The point is that when you, or any other residents, are in the Visitor Space no-one has parking for their visitors.

About the blocking in: SPEAK to your neighbour about it? Ask if there is a reason they park behind you rather than on road?

Can you create a back door to your house, via the garage or garden? Access from the back would surely improve the usability and therefore value of your garage?

Lweji · 24/08/2018 15:51

OH MY GOD, how disgraceful that she has to walk some 200-300 feet distance. Shame on the builders.

Well, actually, yes.

It's doable, but if you have a parking space just in front of your house, how many of us would actually park all the way round the back?

purplelila2 · 24/08/2018 17:06

OP YABU you should just park in your own space !

CornishMaid1 · 24/08/2018 17:08

I think you know you are being a bit cheeky (I don't think you are complete CF), but I can understand it. New build often have silly layouts for where the parking is and to be far if I was there I may well do the same.

To be the person in the wrong is the person parking behind you. They should just come and talk to you rather than be that pathetic even though you and your neighbour are cheeky parking in the visitor spaces.

I am not sure how it is laid out, but if the garages are behind, is there any way to create a back access from the garage in? If not, perhaps you should use the visitor space for dropping off (park there, move shopping in, then move car to proper space).

ChangerChangerson · 24/08/2018 17:11

You're not using the spaces for their j tends use so I assume someone is annoyed as you are being a bit cf about it.

Haven't read the full thread because I'm lazy but a lot of deeds say that visitor spaces can't be used mlre often than a certain amount in an spotted timeframe so you could be breaching these.

goforthandmultiply · 24/08/2018 17:52

The parking has become a nightmare because every fucker is parking in the visitor parking instead of in their own actual space. If people used their drives and garages as intended then the situation would likely be much better.

I absolutely hate when people have a drive but refuse to use it and instead just use piss off everyone else. There's no need for it. If you hate the walk so badly why did you move to a house with this layout? Was it really the only available suitable house?

You knew the deal when you moved. Just park in your allocated space. It's walking round the back of what sounds like a cul de sac, you aren't exactly sending a toddler onto the motorway.

GetEven · 24/10/2018 17:25

I have the same issue. Visitors parking bays in name only. 3 residents (The Anti-socials) with only one car each, park in the visitors bays right next to their own bays, which is then left free for their visitors. When I have visitors they have to park 50 yards away. Moaning is no good. What can you do about it? Planning dept who stipulated to developer that there should be visitors bays do not want to know. They will not enforce it. The police also do not want to know as they are not parking wardens but they will act if there is an obstruction or danger. I bought 2 very cheap cars and put them in 2 of the bays and declared SORN to deny the Anti-Socials. Unfortunately small print in Law states that visitors parking bays that are on private land are still a highway. Cannot declare SORN so have to tax, insure and MOT them. Got them towed away but it was good while it lasted. Builders merchant has 1 ton concrete block that looks like a LEGO brick. Only £150 delivered. Have to check legality - Watch this space

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