To ask all guests to take shoes off in my house?

[chardonm]

Just that really. A few people seem really put off by that.

My dear sil has to be reminded several times before she takes them off.

I hate the thought of trailing the dirt inside the house.

I don't want filth from outside on the carpets that I had to save for years to buy and that will have to last me many years. I couldn't care less what anyone thinks of me if I ask them to remove their shoes - my house, my rules. True friends and family would understand and anyone who doesn't like it can leave.

My parents bring slippers with them when they come, as do my closest friends. I keep a pair of roll up slippers in my bag for visiting friends who have the same rule.

When I had carpets there was I would absolutely freak at people with shoes in my house, but unless it was close family or friends I didn’t feel comfortable asking them to remove them. I just used to cringe internally. I now have wood flooring and I still hate it but at least I know I can clean it as soon as they leave.

Maybe I should request people take them off as it seems from replies that this would make people not return. I hate guests.

The people that say they don’t mind and it’s only a floor ect. Is that because you also wear shoes in your own home? Because I walk bare foot in mine and so do my kids, or socks in winter. So we don’t want to walk on dirty floors

Also, I guess a party would be different because you would expect to clear up after. But would you really let a big group of people eat, drink and wear shoes in your home if you had carpet? Can you afford to get a carpet replaced without it causing you hardship if necessary?

I would never have a party in my home. My worst nightmare. 2 people is about my limit. And I’m not even keen on that.

Wearing shoes inside is fucking skeevy no matter how posh you think you are. I'm no Hoover princess by any stretch of the imagination, but I'm buggered if I'm tracking dog shit particles, sputum, road dirt and the like into my home where my baby crawls around on the floor. I sit and lay on the floor to play with my baby or to read, watch tv etc. You may as well assume you are entitled to wear shoes in my bed.

That said, if we're having a party, shoes inside is fine and I'll just actually make the effort to blitz clean the next day

Not unreasonable at all. I automatically take mine off in the hall, my toddler does too and so do my friends and their little ones. We only keep them on if the householder says we should eg if they have a dog.

To all the people saying they have smelly feet/fungal toenails/unsightly cracked heels etc don't you take a pair of socks when you visit?
If I know I'm going to someone's home and wearing sandals, I put a pair of clean socks in my bag to slip on when we arrive. I also use foot deodorant every morning. I wouldn't like to be barefoot in someone else's house as I like to tuck my feet up on the sofa.

We provide slippers and a stool by the door, but most people are happy in socks!

This topic has been done to death.

There's always a split between those who think shoes inside are disgusting and those who think asking guests to remove shoes is really rude.

Personally as I now have hard floor I could not care less because it just gets mopped. If I had carpet I would hate shoes on it. Shoes seem gross having walked through god knows what.

However logically, our clothes are just as filthy, sat on a bench lately? Public transport? The grass at the park?

Nothing can be kept 100% clean it's probably not worth worrying about life is too short.

Imustbemad that's pretty much how I feel.

When I had carpet and shoes off my socks were always clean, now we've got wooden floors and people do traipse in and out with shoes on I have noticed that our socks get dirty quickly.

Mils house is lovely and clean and she mops regularly but when you visit your socks get black with dirt and it must be because they were shoes a lot indoors.

I never return to a house where the soft furnishings are more important than the comfort of guests. This includes my best friend who bought WHITE carpets and then complained they got marks! Hard floors for me and washed with disinfectant! I do have pets though.

I actually hate wearing shoes in the house. People think I’m being polite but I’m just making myself comfortable.

But I also ABSOLUTELY hate people traipsing through my house with their shoes on. PIL do it all the time - bad backs and all mind you... although they have a no shoes rule at theirs...

To the people saying "it's just a floor" I'm assuming you are extremely well off and can afford to replace your carpets every year or so and/or have only a small room to replace?

My house is open plan, you literally come from the front entrance porch into the living room. The stairs are open, along with the landing which has an open plan office.

Whenever my living room carpet needs replaced it also means the stairs, landing and my office all have to be done at the same time. It takes around 20m of a 4/5m wide roll. Do the math, even a cheap £5psqm carpet (which less face it would be threadbare on the stairs in a month) would cost £500 plus underlay plus fitting! A mid price half decent one and cost is well over £1000.

So you'll excuse me if I insist you take your wet mucky shoes off and leave them in the porch, unless you're going to leave a token payment towards buying my new carpet?

I wonder if it's an age/generational thing really? Amongst all my friends (mid 20s-mid 30s) shoes off inside is the norm. Whereas the older generation tend to be more formal and 'buttoned up'.

I also don't understand why people find being asked to take their shoes off uncomfortable, unless you're a total skank who never washes their feet?

It's more "buttoned up" to insist on people taking them off. But you're right, it is a generation thing, none of our friends would even suggest removing shoes, all our houses are shoes on.

Do any of these "shoes off" people have dogs I wonder? Seems a rather a nonsense to ask people to remove shoes if so.

@Spreadingcudweed I used to and we kept a small cloth on the radiator in the entrance and used it to wipe her paws before she came back into the house after a walk

(I realise now that makes me sound totally batshit though lol!)

Shoes off and left in Porch / Hallway in our house.

I feel incredibly uncomfortable leaving my shoes on in others houses - If wearing sandals il pop a pair of pop socks in my bag if I don't want to walk bare foot in a house.

Even the dog knows to wait in porch and have her paws wiped when wet outside before walking in the house .

My toddlers play in the floor.

I don't want outside shoes in the house.

I have no qualms in requesting people take shoes off including when we have been selling the house. (Sold quickly enough so obviously didn't upset buyers to much).

It's basic manners - We don't live in a barn and I don't have time to wash carpets weekly.

If any off our friends or family have an issue which upsets them that much then they don't need to bother visiting we will happily visit them

I think my DC might become shoes off people because nearly all my friends and I used to make sure their DC took their shoes off. The advice was that growing feet shouldn't be in shoes all day and they used to bring in mud etc otherwise. As young adults they still take off their shoes. I certainly don't, though!

MammaSchwifty

I wonder if it's an age/generational thing really? Amongst all my friends (mid 20s-mid 30s) shoes off inside is the norm. Whereas the older generation tend to be more formal and 'buttoned up'.

I reckon you’re on to something... I have NEVER had to ask any of my friends to take their shoes off, just the PIL act like we’re asking them to detach a limb.

My own family has always been shoes off but I used to entertain a lot and wouldn't have asked people to remove shoes as generally I wasn't on those sort of terms with the people I was entertaining.

Once I was having a large sit down lunch for mostly acquaintances rather than friends. Everyone was sitting eating when I realised there was a fowl stink of dog shit in the room. Traced it to one of the guests who had trailed it from the hall, right across my large living room, into my dining room and then proceeded to spread it around under the dining room table as he sat there. How the hell he didn't smell it I don't know and I imagine everyone else just thought my house stank; I hadn't noticed it when he arrived as people came into the house in a group.

I don't entertain on that scale any more and I no longer live in that house but I've been shoes off in in every house I've lived in pretty much since then.

Oh and as far as the generation thing goes, I'm coming up to my 70th birthday later this year.

You have a bbq and expect your guests to take their shoes on and off? Poor guests. No. If in the unlikely event we have a BBQ the guests can use the downstairs loo and then wash their hands in the kitchen sink. The flooring in that area, between the downstairs loo, side door entrance and in the kitchen, is an industrial hardwearing stuff that the housing association put down. I don't mind shoes on that bit. The rest of it is carpet and we can't afford to either have it cleaned if it gets muddy or to replace it if it's damaged by hard heels or whatever so we do get people to remove their shoes.

@cobwebsinthebelfry my in laws bring their own slippers. I'm not sure why: I've never asked them to take their shoes off, though we always do. I try to see it as a compliment that they want to relax like that in our house.

WizardOfToss
It is a class identifier, yes

I'm interested in the class thing here. is it that lower middle class people ask guests to remove shoes? and Upper class/wealthy, whatever don't, because they are that generous/have a cleaner?

I'm with you on the rest. Never ask anyone to remove the shoes, check mine/offer to take it off in other people's homes. Or bring a different pair to wear indoors and make a joke about it.