To ask all guests to take shoes off in my house?

[chardonm]

Just that really. A few people seem really put off by that.

My dear sil has to be reminded several times before she takes them off.

I hate the thought of trailing the dirt inside the house.

BlueBug45 maybe I made it sound awful. It wasn’t a life of grim case😂 just “isn’t that lovely, he is smashing the strawberries into the carpet?” Not really was my thought, what else am I tredding on?

I understand why mum wants a shoe free environment, but on the other side I don’t like my option of their carpet either.

Your house, your rules. That much is obvious.

Still bloody irritating for those who have better things to worry about than the state of your floors.

Visitors often ask “should I take my shoes off?” And my answer is always no. I then reiterate that I have 3 of the hairiest animals alive and that they’re probably going to leave with more hair attached to them compared to the minuscule amount of grime that they bring in the front door!!

We don’t tell people to take their shoes off when they visit. Most guest will come and sit in the kitchen so there’s no need to have shoes off. Tiles are easy to clean anyway and no one likes cold feet. If people ask to remove shoes we always say no. Some insist! However, for the lounge we prefer if shoes are off because of the rug. Most people will take their shoes off automatically. But it can be really awkward to tell someone to remove their shoes. So we don’t usually ask. Surely if someone had stepped in muddy puddles or had soaking wet shoes would have the decency to remove them anyway? We come from a south Asian background where many take their shoes off as soon as they come in. But we are not that kind of family.

I remember staying at my aunts in Canada. She does not allow any shoes in the house Whatsoever! And makes you take them off at the door/porch area. Once I forgot and she made me go back outside to take them off.

Canadian here and typically shoes are not worn in houses here. It’s just not the norm. I am not saying it’s never done but I don’t know of anyone in my family or friends who wear shoes. Some people will wear slippers or the like but not out door shoes. The only place I have been offered slippers was at a Japanese families house. More of a cultural thing.

School are the same for primary children. They have outdoor shoes and indoor shoes, at least where I live:) The weather can change frequently with a lot of rain. Not much snow in winter, more rain so lots of mud and dirt. They want to try and keep the carpets clean to save money. Also wet feet don’t go well with learning.

In the winter it can change as they can be left geared up in snow suits as it can be hard to help all of the kids change for winter weather for recess and lunch with there still being actual time to go out! Jackets are taken off but snow pants and potentially boots are left on.

High School and higher primary grades it’s just one pair of shoes except or gym as they are expected to care for them better and not do muddy play😁

I think it's polite to remove your shoes when visiting someone's home, but rude to ask guests in your home. I've always taken my shoes off when I go to someone else's house without a second thought. I hate my DH walking round our house with shoes on (because he would happily lay on our bed with shoes on!) But even when guests ask if they should remove theirs I tell them not to worry. About half still do, which is fine by me either way.

I grew up in a household where we asked guests to take their shoes off. I still hate going to my mothers house where she'll provide me with manky guest slippers. Just yuck.

I wouldn't dream of asking guests to take their shoes off when they come over. I'm not that uptight and I want guests to feel comfortable.

I do now because I have a baby crawling around on the floor and I don’t want his hands covered in dirt from outside. Before that I wasn’t too bothered

YANBU- I don’t understand why it’s not automatic! I find it funny that this is such a polarised issue! I’d always take my shoes off and personally think it’s rude not to!

It's not automatic to me, or most people I know, because we were brought up being told that it's incredibly rude to take your shoes off in someone else's house.

To me it’s odd that people equate not wanting shoes in the house with being uptight. I don’t think it’s uptight at all. I also don’t think it’s bad manners for hosts to ask for shoes to be removed but do think it’s bad manners for guests not to or think of offering! To those who have such strong feelings that they wouldn’t visit again- why feel so strongly?! Surely that’s uptight?!

Although I hasten to add that I'd be happy to take my shoes off if someone asked me to. It just wouldn't occur to me to do it automatically.

What do elderly people do though? My mother can't reach her feet and can't wear slip on shoes either.

I just moved into my newly purchased new build after renting all my adult life. Finally got decent carpets after many years of making do with cheap and crap carpets so yes, I’m asking everybody who comes in to take their shoes off.

My house, my rules.

I can't remember being told that taking your shoes off in somebody else's home was rude but it was certainly not done in my childhood. I do remember that in my parents' house my brothers and I did have to take off our outside shoes and put on black canvas gym shoes instead. This is because my father hated noise and wearing these was supposed to deaden the sound we made moving around. I can think of only two occasions when I've been asked to remove my shoes in people's homes - they were both people I didn't know well. It did make me a little uncomfortable to be sitting there eating lunch in my socks - not properly dressed rather as I would if I paid a formal visit in my pyjamas. I'd obey the rules rather as I would do when visiting a mosque or a synagogue. But it means I put the people in those houses in the category of people I felt less 'at home' with. For me one ot the pleasures of having a home is to be able to invite people in without too much fuss. I don't take pleasure in my floors. They're simply there to be walked on.

Me too. I put old shower caps by the door as my do refuses to take hers off.

Sorry

Dm

I'm 46 blah. Nicely middle aged .

I think JennieLee has summed it up for me. I don't feel dressed without my shoes on and so feel uncomfortable in someone else's house not properly dressed. Although saying that, I don't mind it at (don't want to say best because that, apparently, is childish, so will say oldest) friend's house because we're like family and her house feels like another home to me and I feel comfortable in slipping off my shoes and curling up on the sofa.

What would shoes off people, who don't provide socks or slippers, say if your guest said they'd prefer to keep their shoes on as they have athletes foot?

On that note, the people who do provide socks or slippers, presumably you wash them after every visitor?

For those arguing that it’s not a problem wearing shoes indoors as you are not treading visibly in dogs shit etc and you can’t see a problem, it isn’t about that.

There are so many germs/ dirt etc that are outside that aren’t visible to the human eye and yes, you have been outside walking around and fuck knows what you may have on your shoes. Despite what you may think.

Would you all lick the soles of your shoes ? Nope, thought not because they’re fucking dirty and you know it. Yet you think it’s still
Ok to traipse around on other people’s homes in them, because you are oh so offended at having to remove them.

Get a grip. It’s disgusting.

Like I said upthread, my house is beautifullly clean and I like to keep it that way; shoes off is hygienic. End of.

All this shoes on bollocks is just grim.
Urgggggh.

But like I said , each to their own and it’s laughable that those saying shoes on seem somewhat proud they wear shoes indoors.

Just fucking 🤢 yuck 🤢

There are so many germs/ dirt etc that are outside that aren’t visible to the human eye

There are far more microbes inside a house where people live than outside, no matter now clean you think you keep your house. Your own body is crawling with them, for a start.

I wouldn’t lick the soles of my shoes no - for one thing even if they were perfectly sterile they’d taste foul, but equally I wouldn’t lick the floor.

I love these threads. As people have pointed out, they always go the same way.

In the end, there are people shrieking ‘it is DISGUSTING’ like it is equivalent to off-milk smeared up the curtains. And other people point out foot fungus and smelly socks are no cleaner and not welcoming.

No-one ever changes their mind.

If you are interested in class it is a good social indicator - taking your shoes off is for the petit bourgeoisie. The Duchess of Cambridge definitely does not insist Michelle Obama’s takes her shoes off!

Whilst I’m not a clean freak I think people arguing that it’s fine to wear shoes indoors because it’s good for us re bacteria doesn’t work when you have kids who are playing on floors. I don’t think you’d wear your outdoor shoes on kitchen surfaces and with kids floors are pretty much like kitchen surfaces in that their hands are everywhere etc.

Yes it is a class identifier for sure. People who moan about the host's request are extremely low class.

BrewDoggy, I meant class as in social status/strata, not in in a Hyacinth-manners sense.

But it is disgusting and yes I am fully aware that other microbes and the like that exists in a home...

That’s why I use a deep cleaner and steam my home regularly.

Like I said, my home is immaculate.

FWIW, I am not screaming it’s disgusting, I am merely pointing it out and thank fuck in the real world everyone I know feels the same.

Team shoes off all the way.

Ha ha.