Aibu to feel inadequate?

[recklessruby]

I am 50. Originally from Aberdeen and live in Hertfordshire now with 2 adult dc one of whom has MH issues.I m in Aberdeen right now and have been for a few weeks with my parents who are late 70s with some health problems. Father has had a few strokes/broken hip/epilepsy. Mother looks after him as much as possible. I have been helping out and can see how much easier it is for them while I m here.
But I work down south in a school and term starts soon. My ds 30 had a breakdown last year and I also do a lot for him .
I just feel in the middle like I will never be able to be there for everyone. Sorry this probably doesn't make a lot of sense. Just feel pretty down tonight and can't bother anyone irl

You are doing as much as one person can do!

You are not inadequate, no single person could manage all these situations alone.

Could the 30 year old go up to spend some time in Scotland with your parents? Giving them some help and they could help him too? Thus giving you a bit of a break at the same time. Looking after everyone is hard work by yourself.

He has a newish job so not due any holiday yet. He s been good for the last few months so I want to keep him in his routine. Dd 24 is coming up here in October so she will be helping out.
I have brother and sister younger than me with no dc but they are always busy!

You are not inadequate. You sound like you're being pulled from pillar to post and are almost running out of time for yourself.

As someone said to me, you can't pour tea for everyone else if your teapot is empty.

It might be that you need to have discussions with your parents about their long term care wishes. It is unreasomable to expect you to continue to be doing what you are doing indefinitely. Equally, you need to start looking at support for your adult DC with mental health issues to help them get to a point where they can manage without 'needing' you and you can still support at a more typical distance (I hope that makes sense. I know what I'm trying to say but each time I write it, it sounds heartless and that's not my plan).

And if all else fails, it's mumsnet so book yourself a spa day